Having passed away this weekend, aged 88, Jilly Cooper leaves behind a legacy of 48 steamy novels, including Rivals, which was recently adapted to huge success by Disney+. It was proof that her legendary ‘bonkbusters’ remain as relevant and captivating as ever.
The author and former journalist is known for her acerbic wit and astute comments outside of the pages of her books as well. She was candid on everything from sex to art, attraction to ageing.
Here’s some of her most memorable quotes from through the years.
On marriage
I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.
On office politics
Although it is the biggest time-waster in office life, you must never underrate the importance of the memo. You will be judged by the volume of your paper work.
On sex appeal
For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.
On trying to break into journalism
I kept writing to people in Fleet Street, these terribly hubristic letters, saying ‘I’m 22, quite good-looking, and I would love to come and work on your newspaper, you need me.’ None of them did.
On her distaste for running
The looniness of the long distance runner — pounding along country lanes, so anxious to lop off seconds he never stops to marvel at a field of buttercups or a flock of geese against the sky.
On reading bad reviews
I usually have 24 hours of misery and think, “God how awful, how sad, how ghastly, am I that horrible?” And it's horrid when they have a go at you as well as the book.
On her novel’s sex scenes
I just don't think it's particularly accurate. There are a lot of lewd jokes and ribald remarks but there isn't that much sex. Everybody says, “Do you put in a bit of sex every 25 pages?” and I say, “No, it happens when it happens.”
On cat calling
And all this [anti] wolf-whistling. I love being wolf-whistled at. I’m that generation. All contributions gratefully received.
On accuracy in her novels
I rang Stroud police to ask whether the male member stays up at the point of death. They told me it definitely does.
On village life
It's a good idea to wait a few months before joining anything when you arrive at a village. A bookseller friend who retired to nearby Oxfordshire, and was worried he might be bored, got himself on to every village committee in the first six months, and spent the next ten years extricating himself.
On being a young wife
One went to work, shopped through one’s lunch hour, came back, ironed shirts, cleaned the flat, cooked dinner, made love all night, the flat got dirtier and dirtier and one died with exhaustion after six months!
On how to treat a man
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
On travelling
I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.
On the great British weather
In our vile English climate, rough winds shake not only the darling buds of May, but of June, July, August and September as well.
On pipe dreams
We all need the pipe dream of writing the great novel, or winning the pools, or becoming managing director and kicking all our colleagues in the teeth. The world is deep and dark and full of tigers, and we need those shimmering white castles in the air to creep into when life gets unbearable.
