The Madchester Derby

'Carlos Tevez puts Gary Neville's running mouth to good use for once,' cackles Mike Petchey
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'After the latest fallout, involving the verbal insulting of a 'captain', it was time for Manchester's two rival families to sit down and discuss what needed to be done.' Will Wilson channels The Godfather
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'Craig Bellamy’s popularity remains undiminished,' notes the mono-monikered Golly
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'Mark Hughes and Robinho try to find a place to watch the derby where they're welcome,' says Rumbelows co-founder Phil Brown
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'You Mancs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!' Tom Thompson presents his jokesome version of Planet of the Apes
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'Did no one else notice the subtle name change on the back of Rooney's shirt for the derby?' Luke McCarthy has something to ponder
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'British Intelligence have dismissed Osama bin Laden's new TV message saying: 'It doesn't prove he is alive, it could have been recorded any time in the last 34 years.' Sid Holton takes the warmongering idea to its extreme
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'Carlos and Rio wind down after the big game.' Fi Weatherall's mind is a bit twisted
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And here's Fi's second offering: 'Rio shows the City boys his Arabesque'
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'It sure is entertaining. But sometimes I wonder if it's real?' Brian Corcoran's derby doodle could teach WWF a thing or two
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'Tension builds in the Madchester donkey derby.' Al Balmer gives everyone on the sports desk a headache
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'And in the first leg Tevez created the sock sucker, and then he declared that it was good.' If Tevez is God, we're all in trouble, Bert Ayers
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'Mancini flaunts his package, Ferguson takes offence.' More schoolboy humour courtesy of Bert
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'Tevez brings along his translator to get his point across,' phnaars Andrew Schroeer
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'Garry Cook was quick to take advantage of Tevez’s comments.' Is Jon Warren taking liberties with Gary Neville's head?
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'A baptism of fire for St Carlos in the derby.' Al Balmer's original caption made no sense, so we changed it. OK?
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