How to improve your love life.
We all have relationship problems from time to time. Different people deal with this in different ways. Some talk to friends, some talk to family and some try to distract themselves with hobbies or other activities. And then there are those who seek the advice of relationship gurus.
Chalidaporn Songsamphan is a political science professor and feminist scholar at Thammasat University. She has also been giving relationship advice on her Twitter account @ChalidapornSongsamphan, which she highlights with the hashtag #twitrak. She can also be contacted on Facebook and the website Ask.fm.
With her latest book, Rak Khong Rao Mai Tao Gun (Our Love Isn’t Equal), ready to hit bookshelves, S Weekly met up with Chalidaporn to talk about relationships and advice.
How did you become interested in relationship issues?
Chalidaporn: I was studying feminism. In my research, I looked at how sexuality relates to romance and relationships. When I was interviewed on Thai PBS, we asked viewers to send in their questions via Twitter. That’s how #twitrak began.
What’s it like responding to relationship questions on Twitter?
Chalidaporn: At the beginning, it was very hard. Until recently, Twitter posts were limited to 140 characters. I had to write precise messages. But I’ve learned a lot from all the questions that people ask, especially in terms of how social norms influence the way people think and behave.
Why don’t you give definite solutions to people’s problems?
Chalidaporn: You can’t make decisions for people. I only point out what the problem is. What’s best for one person might not be best for somebody else. I’ll give options but not answers.
You sometimes do live broadcasts online. How does that compare to message boards?
Chalidaporn: When I’m broadcasting live, everything happens very fast. I have to be concise and I might have to repeat answers. When I’m dealing with posts on Twitter, Facebook or Ask.fm, people can read the messages and take more time to think about them.
Is there any difference between gay and straight relationships in terms of the advice you give?
Chalidaporn: Everybody is different. So much about each situation comes down to the individual and the circumstances. But gays do face added pressure from society, which still doesn’t fully accept them.
Do you think people can have a relationship if they haven’t met in person?
Chalidaporn: You can get to know somebody without meeting face-to-face. A relationship isn’t built in one day and there are so many ways to interact and communicate. But for most people, it’s important to meet in person and spend time together.
How do we maintain a relationship?
Chalidaporn: A relationship never stops developing. If you want to stay together, you have to keep learning and adjusting to each other’s needs.
If a parent doesn’t like our boyfriend or girlfriend, what should we do?
Chalidaporn: It isn’t realistic to expect everybody in your life to accept each other. You might need to keep some important relationships separate.
Can you give us an idea of what we can expect from your new book, Our Love Isn’t Equal?
Chalidaporn: I look at problems that many people have in common. And there are questions that will encourage the reader to challenge social rules.
What’s the best thing about #twitrak?
Chalidaporn: I’m glad that so many people think about #twitrak. It’s especially gratifying when people tell me that I helped them deal with their issues and made them feel better. I’m very happy about that.
