Among all the delicious details of the various MPs' expenses, it is the moat that sticks in the mind. Such a hilarious throwback to Tory grandiosity. It cost £2,000 to dredge the moat - the moat! - around Douglas Hogg's Lincolnshire country estate.
I don't know if that's reasonable, given that I don't live in a house with a moat. I call someone who does. Lord Saye and Sele, 88, has lived at Broughton Castle in Oxfordshire for the last 40 years, although it has been his family seat since 1337. His moat covers three acres, which dwarfs Hogg's - as does the cost of its upkeep. Last winter, it cost £22,000 to repair some of the stone banks around it and there is more to do.
"It's a great pleasure having a moat, but very expensive. We did dredge it about 35 years ago," he remembers. "One summer we had a man come with a drag line and he pulled tonnes and tonnes of rubbish out of it - rushes and weeds, silt, that sort of thing. You probably only need to do that once every 100 years. Other than that, you need to make sure there are not too many rushes and water lilies growing."
One of the good things about having a moat, says Lord Saye, "is that you don't need a swimming pool" (let us not forget the several claims for pool upkeep by MPs including Michael Ancram and James Arbuthnot). "My wife and children go in, but I can't remember the last time I did."
It must be a very grand feeling to own a moat. "Yes, it's a very good thing to have," says Lord Saye. "It also keeps rabbits and deer out, and probably people as well." The angry mob, I think he means. Good news for Hogg, then.
