Individual Performance of the Season
Schalk Brits (Saracens v Leicester, Twickenham) – It is hard to recall a better all-round performance from a hooker in a major game.
Most Memorable Games
1 Leinster v Northampton. Two great 40-minute performances, one unforgettable match.
2 England v Australia. One of the great England performances, capped by Chris Ashton's super-soaraway try.
3 Crusaders v Sharks. Attacking rugby at its most lethal. Sonny Bill Williams and Dan Carter make a deadly duo.
Club player of the season
Soane Tonga'uiha (Northampton). A central figure in every match he played.
Club coach(es) of the season
Rob Baxter and Ali Hepher (Exeter Chiefs). Never has a newly promoted team's campaign been more expertly marshalled.
International player of the season
Chris Ashton. Ignore the swallow dives and marvel instead at his support running instincts and ever-improving all-round game.
International coach of the season
Nick Mallett. Inspired Italy to victory over France and promptly got sacked. Ridiculous.
Best captain
Leo Cullen (Leinster). Looks can be deceptive.
Best newcomer(ish)
Sonny Bill Williams. He has the ability to attract a whole new audience to the sport.
Comeback of the year
Matt Stevens. The manner of his rehabilitation following his drug ban has been a credit to him.
Try of the season
Dan Carter (Crusaders v Sharks, Twickenham). Sonny Bill's off-load, Carter's slick finish. The best things in sport always look deceptively simple.
Most memorable quotes
1 "Bit of genius, bit of magic, Sireli Bobo, very interesting, very good yah. Three cheers for Sireli Bobo. Very good. Very good." Brendan Venter pays bizarre tribute to Mike Bassett: England Manager following Saracens's Heineken Cup pool game against Racing Métro.
2 "I do not have the impression we asked them to walk on the moon. I do not ask for complicated things. This match was a hallucination. I do not want to clear myself from the blame but they invented things on the pitch. They are lacking in courage. They are good guys but cursed with what is obviously cowardice." Marc Lièvremont lets his French players down gently after their Six Nations loss to Italy.
3 "They might put me in a box but I'm not sure it'll be the Royal Box." Leicester's Richard Cockerill, awaiting news of the seating arrangements at Twickenham for the Aviva Premiership final.
Best matchday atmosphere
Exeter Chiefs. Take a trip to Sandy Park next season – I guarantee you will enjoy it.
Worst matchday atmosphere
Saracens. The sooner they leave Vicarage Road the better.
Most surreal interview
Sitting in the back of Bruce Craig's chauffeur-driven car en route to Bath's stately HQ at Farleigh Hungerford.
Most concerning aspects of the season
1 Big-name players behaving like idiots
2 Decline in refereeing standards
3 Rise in abuse of match officials
Gavin Henson Award for resolutely staying out of the limelight
Danny Cipriani/Sir Clive Woodward (shared).
The Horlicks Award for Outstanding Recruitment Performance
The Rugby Football Union.
Inspired management decision
Saracens's bonding trip to the Oktoberfest beer festival in Munich.
Back to the drawing-board
1 The whole crouch-touch-pause-engage scrummaging shambles.
2 Marc Lièvremont.
3 The promotion/relegation debate to and from the Premiership in the current uncertain financial climate.
Up-and-coming British and Irish XV
T Homer (London Irish); G North (Scarlets), H Trinder (Gloucester), B Barritt (Saracens), F McFadden (Leinster); O Farrell (Saracens), O Lindsay-Hague (Harlequins); J Marler (Harlequins), J George (Saracens), A Corbisiero (London Irish), R Gray (Glasgow), G Kitchener (Worcester), T Johnson (Exeter Chiefs), A Saull (Saracens), B Morgan (Scarlets).
Personal hopes for next season
1 A spectacular World Cup.
2 A full recovery for, among others, Joost van der Westhuizen, James Tincknell and Christchurch's shattered city centre.
3 More coaches, players and administrators with a) vision and b) the courage to back it up.
