There’s a period that falls at about 5.15pm on a December day which I have privately christened ‘the battening’. It’s when we secure our homes from the cerebral storms of the outside world. My thoughts turn to teatime, closing the curtains, turning off my laptop and forgetting about chores and obligations. If I go to the shops, I see street lamps and houses starting to light up, one by one, like stars slowly illuminating the night sky. It’s the very essence of cosiness. Time for stew and Strictly, for sloppy socks and sleepwear, velvet hot chocolate and smoky red wine. It’s when we’re separate but together – there’s a joy in knowing that most of our friends and neighbours are curling up and settling down too. Everybody is tucked in.
At Christmastime, the country gets to experience the ultimate battening. Between the 23rd and the 27th, all is calm and bright. The workplace is forgotten in a Newton’s cradle bounce of ‘Out of Office’ messages. Whether your method of celebration is religious, secular or barely existent, you can wriggle your toes in the soft slipper of a national holiday.
However, it took me a long time to see the benefits of taking time off work in December. As a freelancer, I don’t really have holidays. Sometimes I go away to places with pools and sunbeds and complicated towel return systems, but I always bring my laptop. Once I filed a feature from my phone, with one hand, while going through airport security. On a recent trip to California, I’d regularly wake up at 2am, thinking “It’s 10 o’clock in England!”, checking my emails and writing commissions while perched on the toilet of the hotel bathroom as my husband slept.
Last Christmas, I turned up at my parents’ house and behaved like I was the Gordon Gekko of Kim Kardashian think pieces. I had a kidney infection (triggered because I was overworked and exhausted) and was too manic and deadline focused to string a sentence together. I spent the festive period perched on top of the broadband router, hissing at anyone who dared to ask me whether I fancied a drink or a walk. I met all my deadlines – and I didn’t get paid for that work until July. I missed a family lunch in order to take part in a lengthy phone interview to promote a book I’d written. The interview never ran. Without realising it, I’d turned into the heroine of a Hallmark made for TV movie – The Girl Who Missed Christmas For The Sake Of Her Career.
I’m lucky to have a job I love – but any job is just a job, and not important enough to fill your thoughts during every waking hour. The harder I worked, the less affection and enthusiasm I felt for the tasks ahead of me. Typing furiously, I wanted to turn myself into a festive martyr, nobly giving up on fun for a higher purpose. But I wasn’t an on call doctor, or a fireman rescuing families from fairy light explosions; I was speculating about the intimate lives of the cast of Made In Chelsea. Taking on all that work was my choice. I’d just become so caught up in the cult of being busy that I’d forgotten I had one.
Working for myself and setting my own schedule has forced me to follow a steep learning curve. I’m very keen to say yes to everything and please my clients, and there are plenty of opportunities to do extra work over Christmas because all the staffers are on holiday. However, setting boundaries feels good, and in the long run I know that making sure I have a chance to rest and relax will make me better at what I do. It always feels frightening to turn down work if you’re not sure when the next offer will come, but December is the perfect time to try. It’s understood that we all want to be indoors with our families, our festive jumpers and a big tin of Quality Street. You’re not on X Factor, and if you decide not to work, no one is going to say, “I guess you just don’t want it badly enough.”
This year, just like George Michael in the Last Christmas video, I’ve decided to learn from the mistakes of the past. I’m setting up a seasonal out of office, and aiming to go three days without checking my email. I might even get a friend to change my Twitter password so that I’m not ‘inspired’ by any social media stories. Having time off doesn’t mean I’m slacking off – it’s a way of recognising my hard work in 2015, and rewarding myself. It’s also an investment in the future. If I’m rested and refreshed, I’ll be ready to start the new year with focus and enthusiasm. No one else is going to tell you to have a holiday, it’s down to you to gift yourself with a Christmas break. It’s probably the best present you’ll receive all year.
