MILAN V INTER
The biggest game in Europe this weekend will, it turns out, be available to watch in the UK, as screened live by the channel that also brought you Britain's Worst Teeth, and Vinnie (Vinnie Jones pretends to be a suitably zany subject for a fly-on-the-wall documentary). Good old BBC3. In this country, at least, the game is likely to be billed along the lines of Jose Mourinho v David Beckham (Jose did famously dismiss Beckham as "a Hollywood star" during his time at Chelsea). But of course, there's a lot more to it. Should Inter win they will effectively knock Milan out of the race for the scudetto. The Rossoneri are currently eight points behind their neighbours in third place with 15 games to play.Whether Inter actually do this or not will, as ever, depend on Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Ibracadabra is their run-away leading scorer with 14, and faces another opportunity, not just to do well against Milan, but to further nail that unwarranted reputation for being a talented gadabout who goes missing in big games. Alongside him will be someone who, by contrast, could soon be visible from outer space: the hulking Adriano. Fresh from an 80-minute run-out for Brazil, L'imperatore will no doubt be hungry for more. Kaka, missing for Brazil, is an unlikely starter on Sunday after spraining his left foot against Reggina last weekend. Which gives his stand-in Ronaldinho a chance to have one of his occasional good games when it really counts and - who knows- maybe do his goofy hang-ten thing again. A draw looks a good bet though.
CELTIC V RANGERS
The second biggest derby in Europe this weekend takes place at Celtic Park. Celtic are two points clear at the top of the SPL. Rangers are in marginally better form. Celtic won at Ibrox with a single Scott McDonald goal after Christmas. Rangers won 4-2 at Celtic's place in August. Go figure those crazy historically-opposed Glaswegian super clubs. Always a feisty affair, and often notable less for the quality of the derby-day football than the world class goading in the crowd, this one has some further interest for the neutral: it's likely to be 17-year-old Rangers striker John Fleck's first taste of Scotland's biggest game. Much is expected of Fleck, nephew of the former Norwich, Chelsea, Rangers and Scotland Robert. John has been compared by some to Wayne Rooney – in terms of physique, rather than the urge to swear constantly while walking backwards after giving a free-kick away - and is a similarly bullish ball-player. Not that Ally McCoist is having any of it. "People will always make comparisons but Fleck and Rooney are completely different players," McCoist said this week. "Flecky's got a lovely left foot and he takes the ball in very well like a young Charlie Miller." He seems to be mentally tough too. Two weeks ago he was fouled to earn a penalty with the score 0-0 at home to Dundee United, got up and slotted it home himself.
HOFFENHEIM v LEVERKUSEN
The biggest game in Germany takes place tonight, with top club 1899 Hoffenheim taking on fifth-placed Bayer Leverkusen. "1899 who?" you might be tempted to wonder, if you happen to have taken your eye momentarily off the comings and goings of the Bundesliga. Hoffenheim are very much the new kids on the block, having been promoted to the top division in 2008, and having been a fifth-tier side as recently as 2000. Much of this success is to do with the backing of former player and software tycoon Dietmar Hopp, who first began to fund the club in 1990 when they were basically a park team. Success has come in a rush in the last few years, and the team are generally very popular, retaining despite their wealth a plucky underdog appeal. A bit like Manchester City, then. It's a team without obvious stars too, unlike Bayern Munich, currently bearing down in menacing fashion in second place, just a point back. Hoffenheim have won one and drawn one since the winter break. They could really do with getting a result tonight.
MONACO V MARSEILLE
And still the big derbies keep coming. In France there's another Mediterranean turf war as Monaco, who won in Nice last Saturday, host Marseille on Sunday. It's perhaps a bigger game for the visitors, who are just five points off the top club, Lyon. They will also have by far the biggest and rowdiest bunch of fans in the stadium, fresh from their peculiar behaviour during the midweek friendly between Les Bleus and Argentina. Not only did the Provencals barrack their national team coach Raymond Domenech, they also cheered wildly whenever Lionel Messi got the ball and made repeated we-are-not-worthy gestures towards Diego Maradona, who had a public flirtation with OM when he was a player. Marseilles keeper Steve Mandanda will be looking to recover from a shaky showing in France's goal in a 2-0 defeat. And Sylvain Wiltord, relieved finally of the burden of being Arsenal's record signing, could continue his latest comeback.
LEAGUE ONE
In England the place to be this weekend for thrilling dog-eat-eat relegation battle action is the bottom of League One. At least, as an interested observer. The bottom-club Cheltenham play second-bottom Hereford at home. Third-bottom Crewe travel to fourth-bottom Leyton Orient. And fifth-bottom Brighton play seventh-bottom Carlisle. That's a lot of bottom-related stuff, more in fact than …. [at this point the Guide searched for an acceptable and non-offensive humorous comparison but failed to come up with one]. Still, you get the idea.
