Tuesday
Paul O'Grady, 5pm, C4
Today's guests are Alison "just a top-up, Tone" Steadman, inventor of the Essex girl, and Richard Fleeshman. Ever wondered what goth-Romeo Craig Harris has been up to since leaving Coronation Street? No, me neither, but singing ex-soapstar Richard is back, selflessly promoting his new TV drama.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11pm, CNBC
Bullet-headed beefcake and ex-bouncer Vin Diesel revs up for the release of his latest car-racing crime opus, Fast & Furious, on tonight's show.
Thursday
Paul O'Grady, 5pm, C4
Joining Paul today are cruise-ship crooner and loose woman Jane McDonald, and the estimable Clive James, writer, poet, TV personality and entertainer described by the New York Times as "a brilliant bunch of guys".
The Graham Norton Show, 10pm, BBC2
The Boyz are back in town – the reunion bandwagon trundles on as Graham is joined by all-singing, all-dancing Boyzone, and boyish cockney sparrer and reigning king of the jungle Joe Swash.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11pm, CNBC
What's it all about? Michael Caine will tell you as he and multi-hued sex pest Dennis "I've slept with over 1,800 girls" Rodman join Jay Leno.
Friday
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, 10.35pm, BBC1
It's plugs and hugs all round as Whoopi Goldberg whoops it up it up alongside Jason Isaacs, professional movie baddass best known as Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter. Music is from Antony and the Johnsons.
Sunday
Piers Morgan's Life Stories, 10pm, ITV2
He's saved the best until last – fiercely garrulous dispenser of non-sequiturs Richard Madeley is the subject of the final slightly-too-long interview.
