Monday
Paul O'Grady, 5pm, C4
There's just no avoiding Lady GaGa as she bares her soul, and possibly a few other things on today's show.
Tuesday
Richard & Judy, 5pm, Watch
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry Springer, Titan of trash - you'd be one disappointed couch potato if you didn't witness at least one outbreak of violence or swearing on his show - is here to talk about loftier ambitions.
Wednesday
Paul O'Grady, 5pm, C4
One of life's originals, the unpredictable Eddie Izzard brings his rambling free association to the sofa, along with actress Maxine Peake, best known as Veronica in Shameless (New Year's resolution: "smoke a lot more fags").
Thursday
The Justin Lee Collins Show, 10pm, ITV2
Run for your (West)lives, it's grouchy X Factor judge Louis Walsh and as if that wasn't bad enough, perma-grinning irritant John Barrowman joins them.
Friday
Richard & Judy, 5pm, Watch
Brigitte Nielsen, participant in one of the best "chat-fights" ever, is today's guest, so anything's possible.
Jonathan Ross, 10.35pm, BBC1
Helen Mirren discusses the good, the bad and The Queen while Jonathan fiddles with his tie to signal the onset of awkward flirting; Spandau Ballet are frilled to be back.
