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We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered
David James

‘The Guardian of Liberty’: Sequel to Lady Liberty unveiled, billed as ‘the tallest statue in the West’

Let’s face it, the Statue of Liberty‘s message, “Give me your tired, your poor/Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”, is kinda outdated. The tired are being snatched from elementary schools by masked goons, the huddled masses are being tortured an ICE-run concentration camp, and anyone yearning to breathe free should stay well away from the United States.

It’s time for something more befitting these Trumpian times. Enter Parisian studio Atelier Missor, which has just unveiled a new statue – one they intend to dwarf Lady Liberty – to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States on July 4th, 2026. After all, Lady Liberty was also a gift from France, why not do a sequel?

Meet the “Guardian of Liberty”. What’s pictured is a model, with the finished product intended to be “the tallest statue in the West”. The current record-holder is the Christopher Columbus statue in Arecibo, Puerto Rico, which stands at 360 feet tall. By comparison, the Statue of Liberty comes in at a comparatively teeny 151 feet, meaning the Guardian of Liberty will be able to look down menacingly upon its older sister.

The Guardian’s symbolism is fairly straightforward and appropriately Trumpian. We have a hyper-masculine depiction of the Greek Titan Atlas, who must hold the world in his grasp for eternity. In this analogy, America is the guardian of the world and must shoulder responsibility for protecting it.

A couple of flies in the ointment

The studio claims they have funding offers in place, but that “the real challenge will be getting visas”. Fair enough, guys, that will be a challenge (if only there were some statue to remind Americans about the importance of welcoming foreigners…).

But, frankly, “the real challenge” is actually going to be building a colossal statue in under a year – if a statue of this design at that scale will even be stable. In the 1870s-80s, the Statue of Liberty took nine years to sculpt, six months to ship, and another four months to assemble. I guess technology might speed that up a little nowadays, but given that they don’t even have a site for it yet, I’m skeptical this thing is ever going to happen.

But, on the plus side, when it comes to frittering away public money in the pursuit of dumb jingoism, the Trump administration is continually breaking new ground, so who knows?

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