I left Zumba on a high, but on reflection I'm not sure whether the initial enthusiasm was because of the exercise, or more that I had just spent an hour humping the air in the company of 40 women and wasn't hit with a handbag. I really did feel amazing afterwards, like I'd shaken loose every stressed out part of my body. As step one of what I fear may be a somewhat lengthy journey to well-rounded happiness and the adulthood which has thus far eluded me, this has been a success. However, it came at a price: I sweated so much one lady said I looked as though I had just been born.
My usual cereal-for-dinner-followed-by-TV-on-the-sofa routine does not normally allow for such bursts of physical activity but in the interests of self-improvement I was overdue a raise in heart rate and as a workout Zumba is really good. The dances include everything from fluid ladylike gesturing to aggressive rump- and fist-shaking. To me it seemed somewhere in-between dancing and fending off a mugger.
Being the only guy in the class, I wondered whether Zumba is just for the ladies? It certainly puts you in touch with your feminine side – I felt like I had bought mine a pair of heels and taken it out for dinner. I considered what my new girlfriend might think to me doing it regularly – would she want a muddy stud returning from the rugby pitch or a lycra-clad dancer shimmying into the living room? Perhaps the solution is to do Zumba on a field and involve a tackling element.
On a self-esteem note the teacher did say I looked quite good and I imagine I'll get a lot more encouragement at Zumba then I would in traditional male sports. The great thing about Zumba, as opposed to football or rugby, is that you can't be blamed for anything.
As I left the building I wandered past another dance studio. The room was almost dark, only vaguely illuminated by a candle sitting on a little tapestry. Inside was a middle-aged bearded man in camouflage trousers doing what looked like a very slow impression of a willow tree in a force five gale. The room was emitting this calming atmosphere and I noticed a sign that I think read: 5 Rhythms of Dance. I thought: "This is a great advertisement for the dangers of taking hallucinogenic drugs," but it made me realise people aren't just going home from work and watching Police, Camera, Action like me, they're up to some strange stuff and that's good! The incident left me not wanting more cop chases, but more real-life experiences and that, I think, is the first step to self- improvement. The next step, as ever, is to push myself, and this self-improvement thing, that little bit further. Watch this space.
