So that’s it for another week! I’m loving this series, such good fun and a bit of midweek sunshine for a chilly February. I’ll be back next week for another round, when another four celebs will be getting stuck into a bit of charity baking. Thank you for joining in, and I’ll see you next week!
So who will take the win? Gok’s showstopper was best, but his cupcakes were pants. Abbey’s cupcakes were lovely. So who will it be?
And Star Baker is….GOK! His showstopper clinched it in the end. Well done Gok, you can overhaul my wardrobe any time.
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Wossy’s cake actually looks vaguely like the Albert Hall, and his marbling looks great. The meringue is more like a marshmallow, but fair play to Wossy for having a go at something different.
Zoe’s beach hut looks like a melting igloo, but the inside is a Brighton rainbow of lurid colours. The sponge is dry, and Mary starts choking. Give her a G&T, someone.
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Gok’s looks amazing, but his marbling is a bit lacking. However the sponge tastes good, and it’s a good bake.
So what do the judges think? Abbey’s Shard is pretty from the outside, but it’s held together by toothpicks and dowels. “It’s basically a chocolate-covered rod”, says Abbey. The marbling and the flavour are both good, but the sponge is a little dry.
Gok is spray painting his chocolate, whilst Zoe’s beach hut has collapsed. These all look like a bit of disaster, to be honest. Oh hang on, Gok’s looks pretty good.
Abbey’s Shard tower has collapsed on to the floor, but she deploys the 3 second rule and builds it up again. Zoe’s cake is too hot to work with, and it looks like a beach hut in a hurricane.
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Gok and Abbey’s marble cakes both look great, but Wossy’s are stuck in the tin and some of Zoe’s cakes have only just gone in the oven.
Meanwhile my 15-year-old daughter is on YouTube learning how to do a fishtail plait, along with every other teenage girl in the nation.
Abbey and Gok are spreading chocolate to make shards. Mel can smell burning, because Wossy is inadvertently grilling his cake.
Marble cakes are in the oven, and currently looking quite decent. Oh hang on, Zoe is still creating a rainbow of cake mess that looks like a toddler finger painting.
Wossy is making the Royal Albert Hall, with an Italian meringue dome Meanwhile Zoe is making a Brighton beach hut. See, simplicity over ambition. I like that. Know your limits.
Gok is also doing The Shard, but in an abstract view. Are there no other much-loved buildings? I feel sorry for the Gherkin. I want Dame Edna’s Sydney Opera House again.
Gok’s cake mix is currently looking right, which is very important. Abbey’s has curdled and “looks like a cup of sick”. She’s making the Shard, because it’s “an easy to shape to do”. It’s a pointy tower, Abbey, Also I really wanted her to do an abbey. What a missed opportunity.
And finally, it’s Showstopper time – our bakers have to make a 3D marble cake inspired by their favourite building. There’s a lovely multi-storey car park in Bracknell that would look lovely rendered in sponge.
“This is the shock of the new,” says Wossy. “It’s avant garde baking”. That’s what Iain said about his grey, melty Baked Alaska, and look where that ended up.
Wossy comes last in the technical challenge, Abbey third, Zoe takes second and Gok wins!
Gok’s profiteroles have a nice rise, but his filling his pink and not all of his chocolate topping is shiny. Zoe’s are as glossy and fabulous as her hair, with gorgeous red filling. The choux buns are overcooked and dry, however, and half of them are empty. Wossy’s are not technically buns, and they look disgusting. Abbey’s chocolate looks good, icing is a great colour, and they’re well filled. The crème pat needed more beating, however, and there are odd lumps of flour.
Zoe’s icing is coming out of the end of the bag again. Once again, she is surprised.
Abbey’s choux buns look like old dog turds, and have now deflated. She bungs them back in the oven in hope of re-inflating. Meanwhile Wossy appears to have made Yorkshire puddings. Gok’s, however, look rather fabulous.
Can Abbey stop making little bleating noises? It’s really annoying.
Right, time to whip up some crème pat. Abbey’s burnt her custard, so it’s time to start again. So has Zoe. WHISK IT OFF THE HEAT YOU IDIOTS.
Choux buns are in the oven, all looking pretty decent apart from Wossy’s which are going to be choux biscuits. Gok is praying to the profiterole God.
Wossy’s choux pastry has scrambled, and he’s not sure how it’s going to pipe. Everyone else is piping happy little blobs, whilst Wossy’s are flat and runny. He’s hopeful they’ll puff up in the oven, presumably through some kind of magical choux metamorphosis. Hmm.
Everyone is making their choux batter, with mixed results. Nobody knows when to put their eggs in, but there is high risk of scrambling. Zoe has messed up, and Abbey is taking great pleasure in her failure.
“I don’t even like profiteroles”, says Gok, like that has any bearing on matters. Zoe has made them before, but they were terrible. Paul pronounces it “pro-feet-er-roles”, which is almost as wrong as the red custard inside.
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It’s technical challenge time – this week our celebs have to make 20 profiteroles. I’ve made these a few times, with mixed results - choux pastry can be a bit hit and miss, puff-wise. Mary Berry, you are truly Dick Dastardly.
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Abbey’s icing has melted, but the rainbow sponge looks amazing and has a great texture. Wossy’s icing has split, and Mary’s loving the whiskey. The sponge is awful, says Paul. Zoe’s cupcakes look quite dainty, but her icing has also split. The sponge is good, however, so a good result for Zoe.
So, judges’ verdict – Gok has tried to create a cake that other people would want to bake for Comic Relief. “Do you think they’d want to make that?” says Mary, witheringly. His banana sponge is delicious, however.
Abbey’s cakes are too hot for icing, and Gok’s faces are falling apart. Meanwhile Zoe’s look lovely, and even Wossy’s look like they might not be disgusting.
Cakes are out, and all currently look quite edible. “The icing is coming out of the end!” declares Zoe, who has clearly never used a piping bag before.
Time is ticking, so they’re all whisking their toppings. Gok is using shop-bought fondant, which may incur the Wrath of Mary.
Abbey is making rainbow sponge cupcakes, in a range of lurid colours. She’s panicking, because Paul is being mean. Gok is making Geisha cupcakes, with little faces on.
Zoe’s Youtube cupcake demonstrations have had over 5 million views, apparently. She’s making banana and caramel cupcakes, which sound quite yummy. She is annoyingly pretty and wholesome.
Wossy is making Lapsang Souchong cupcakes, but his eggs have curdled. Meanwhile Paul Hollywood is the colour of tudor mahogany panelling.
Everyone is nervous, and we learn that Wossy gets teaspoons and tablespoons mixed up. he’s also struggling with the Kitchenaid. What could possibly go wrong?
This week’s signature challenge – 24 cupcakes. Since most 8-year-olds can knock out 24 cupcakes between PE and playtime, this shouldn’t be too taxing on our celebs. But, you know, tent pressure.
Here come this week’s celebs – Gok Wan, who can’t bear the thought of not coming first. Zoella, who is an internet sensation with a lovely fishtail plait. She has form, baking-wise. Abbey Clancy likes a box of pre-mix cake, and Wossy just wants to beat Gok.
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And we’re off! Mel’s in charge tonight, looking lovely in a candyfloss pink blazer.
Something as simple as bacon can raise millions, says Abbey. Bacon? Oh, BAKING.
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Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Great Comic Relief Bake Off liveblog! After last week’s joyful Dame Edna-fuelled chaos, this week’s intrepid charity bakers are fashion/eyewear guru Gok Wan, WAGtastic Strictly winner Abbey Clancy, Youtube star-turned-sort-of-novelist Zoella and Jonathan Ross, who has finally been allowed to remove the BBC Cone of Shame after five long years.
I’ll be keeping a beady eye on proceedings up here, preferably while you’re being funny and brilliant down below. Tonight’s kick off is 8.30pm, so red noses on and rolling pins at the ready. See you then!
