And the person leaving the tent is... Maisam!
That’s a surprise.
Happy for Rebs, but really thought Maisam was going to stay in the tent. The only major flaw in Maisam’s Showstopper was that she finished early.
Perhaps Rebs got through because she came first in the technical, but then again the cynic in me always felt that coming first in the technical doesn’t mean that much anyway.
Sorry for Maisam, but she has been a joy in the tent so far and I hope that she doesn’t see her departure as too much of a setback.
And next week on Bake Off … PIZZAS!
*PING* Speaking of … mine is ready.
Thanks so much for reading and see you lovely lot all next week.
Updated
Star Baker is... Maxy!
Thrilled for her. Deserved.
Paul likes “the taste of her ginger biscuit.” The only criticism by them is that Dawn’s mask doesn’t have eyes.
Janusz’s bake deserves to be in the Tate Modern.
Carole has been told that the lard made her bake fall apart, but received compliments for the taste. She could be leaving this week if Rebs knocks hers out of the park.
And Maisam receives praise, but is warned that they wanted to see a bit more. I personally think she’s got through this week.
Here’s a montage of how the bakers have done this week. Exceptional work, really…
The beautifully crafted Biscuit Mask Showstoppers from our bakers. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/TEbzDFEEpD
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 20, 2022
Updated
Brandy snaps in Kevin’s bake. He’s Scottish, you know. Didn’t I tell you?
Abdul’s bake is stunning and so are so many others this week. The standard this week is exceptionally good.
Maxy’s bake is “really beautiful” according to Prue. Not an opinion, just a fact.
I don’t know about you, but I get a sense that James likes to watch horror films in his spare time.
James’ Pan’s Labyrinth inspired ‘Menacing Mask’ Biscuit Week Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/enLPkpODEN
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 20, 2022
Syabira has got great reviews, so she’ll be through to next week in a snap.
Truly astonishing. Syabira’s ‘Two Face, One Soul’ Biscuit Week Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/e3vs5IWMVy
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 20, 2022
And now it is time for the Showstopper Judging! AND OH GOD they have to carry their biscuit sculptures to the front of the tent.
They want them to fail at this point, don’t they?
this is very much the case.
who are everyone’s favourites so far?
This series of #GBBO is so chaotic I absolutely love them all @BritishBakeOff
— alice 👑 (@aliceedwards__) September 20, 2022
This. Tension. Music. Is. Killing. Me.
OH NO! Compost Carole’s biscuit has managed to sink through the stand. Clearly because the lard made it heavy … Too much lard. I’m gutted and she’s crying.
“It’s still beautiful and it still looks amazing,” says Noel. His comfort is a great thing, but Carole is right too. With only five minutes to go there’s not much she can do.
Carole: “Please stay together” – me in front of the mirror every morning.
Maisam is completely finished with 30 minutes to go. Another completely nightmare-ish form of anxiety. I’d rather be Rebs at this point if I am honest.
am i the only one who thinks that Rebs' bake looks like a doctor who villain? https://t.co/wTJtFxU3UE #GBBO pic.twitter.com/1BMTFVGSWn
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 20, 2022
Updated
Meanwhile Scottish watch with Kevin: “Just keep it together, lassie.”
Carole is warned that her gingerbread bake, full of lard, could be rather heavy. She says she has a plate stand her bake can lean against. Paul is sceptical.
“We can cover over that crack, don’t worry,” she says moments later.
Oh, I am now Carole.
Many of the bakers are using a facial mould to ensure that it could actually be worn.
As her mould, Rebs is using a dog bowl that has been hit with a hammer.
Sandro: “I’m making a carnival mask and I’m trying to make it a feminine/masculine type of mask, kind of like me. Fighting the gender stereotypes here.”
God, he’s good.
Oh and Janusz is baking his own face. And we have had a mention of a BISCUIT BASE.
Abdul, who came last in the technical and has been having timing issues all episode:
“I’m baking 90 individual biscuits!”
Good luck everybody! Oh actually more specifically Syabira, who is baking 100.
Clearly the producers are hoping there’ll be a biscuit disaster – and I think a disaster is imminent, from what I can remember of last week’s trailer.
And now it’s time for the Showstopper. And oh my god, remember last week when they all had to make a cake house representing where they once lived?
This time they have to bake a 3D biscuit mask that must stand upright at the end of the challenge. Honestly! Why!
Syabira: “I am going to have to make a statement in my Showstopper tomorrow.”
I hope she isn’t taking this literally like the feathering and is baking a literal statement.
11. Abdul (Syabira didn’t come last, and Abdul also feathered his bake with a feather too!), 10. Syabira (“I genuinely thought of a feather!” – bless her). 9. Dawn. 8. Kevin. 7. Maisam. 6. Janusz. 5. Maxy. 4. Carole 3. Sandro (“a little too much chocolate!”) 2. James and 1. Rebs!
Heck, what a change from all of the competition so far for Rebs. Hopefully, it’s only upwards and onwards for her now.
Updated
Abdul also followed the literal feathering, Dawn’s are too overbaked and Janusz absolutely did not get away with accidentally cutting his biscuits in two halfway through.
It’s the technical judging.
Even Prue found Syabira’s literal feathering of her biscuits hilarious.
I hope Syabira isn’t dead last because of this.
oh lewk who has made a cameo. we miss you michael.
LOST IT at Syabira adding a chocolate feather on to the garibaldi instead of feathering the chocolate.
CACKLING that Syabira took feathering of the garibaldis quite *literally* so decorated her biscuit with a white chocolate feather #GBBO pic.twitter.com/zCOZAjST6d
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 20, 2022
Dawn’s biscuits look less like garibaldis and more like gariburnties.
I’ll see myself out.
The bakers have to ensure that their mixture can easily be divided into 12.
Kevin: “Nine centimetres divided by 24 makes three so four centimetres makes 12.”
Kevin three seconds later: “I’m just going to cut it into 12.”
Meanwhile, Janusz has accidentally cut it into 24.
These words are on everyone’s instructions: “PLEASE DO NOT CONFER WITH ANY OTHER BAKERS!” Who broke the rules last week?
“It’s a little bit soft under the finger but you know that you have something solid.”
Honestly, how horny is everyone?
Sandro: “I was up until 2am reading about biscuits.”
It is a shame that Sandro is not single. We were never given a chance.
Now time for the technical challenge … and they have to make garibaldi biscuits.
As I’m dyslexic I didn’t know how to type that biscuit so I Googled “Gary Baldy biscuit” until the right wording came up.
I have no idea how I’ve managed a journalism career either.
“It doesn’t taste like toothpaste” is such a low-bar compliment to give to Kevin’s mint-choc ice-cream macaron.
And another handshake for Maxy, for her melt-in-the-mouth daisies.
Her reaction to this handshake is delightful.
Despite not receiving a single criticism, she responds with: “I hate macarons so much.”
This is a great point.
First Hollywood handshake of the series goes to Dawn! Her yo-yo macarons, with a string fondant, are “absolutely perfect” according to Paul.
Surprised Sandro didn’t get one too for the number of compliments he received from Paul. Plus all of the compliments he has received from all viewers all week.
The fact that Janusz is providing these watermelons in their own little mini cooler? Delightful.
And Paul says the watermelons look a little dry. “I agree with you completely,” replies Janusz.
He’s such an engaging personality.
Now on to the Signature judging!
Rebs’ cats look like a mess but taste delicious. Writing that sentence was not at all weird.
Oh god.
Everyone is tucking into James’ mango.
This is hell! We’re in hell.
Janusz has clearly become everyone’s favourite as he’s been asked for either advice or help three times this challenge. Rebs required his and Carole’s help just to get it over the line.
To be honest, I am wondering whether flirting with danger is just Reb’s style of baking.
“When you have a filling you just don’t want it splurging all over the place.”
RESIST THE INNUENDO.
RESIST THE INNUENDO.
Oh, the annual tradition of Paul moaning that he has to eat tofu. This time, Syabira is using it in a peanut-shaped macaron.
MANGO! Do you think they are using this ingredient just to troll us? Honestly.
Anyway, it was James using mango in his raccoon macaron. Or, as I will now refer to them, a mac-raccoon.
Kevin at all times: “I am Scottish.”
He has only said six words this episode so far and two of them were “Loch Lomond.”
Matt Lucas: “Rebs has a cat and in her spare time she likes to practise the tin whistle.”
*camera shows us Reb’s cat pleading for it to stop*
Bake Off: "Rebs has a cat and in her spare time she likes to practise the tin whistle." #GBBO
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 20, 2022
Rebs' cat... pic.twitter.com/ttUnPyDe5V
James has a wee raccoon baking tattoo. Yes, that’s right.
“It’s so ambitious!” replies Prue.
I’m not sure whether Prue is referring to his bake or his tattoo.
Not entirely sure why Maisam is getting heat for making her macarons look like carrots, when the challenge is to literally change the macarons into anything else. As long as they don’t look like a macaron, she’ll be fine!
Updated
“Janusz likes to spend his time putting balls with boyfriend Simon.”
Resist the innuendo.
Resist the innuendo.
Resist the innuendo.
Janusz: “What is better than having cold watermelon on a beach?”
I’m not going to lie to you Janusz. Most things, Janusz. Most things.
“I usually eat healthy,” says Sandro, before announcing that his favourite food order is a triple cheeseburger with a chicken burger and nuggets.
Am I detecting a little friendship between Sandro and Janusz? Sandro just referred to him as “the flavour king,” with Janusz in earshot so he could hear it.
“Mooorrrrrnnninnng!” said Carole as Paul and Prue visit her workstation and ask her what she is baking. She is baking macaron that look like burgers.
Yes, macarons are biscuits. I also Googled.
For the Signature Challenge they have to bake … 18 identical decorative macarons.
They must look something other than a macaron. So basically if I baked a macaron.
I wonder what credentials the bakers can bring to biscuit week?
Maisam: “I like to eat them.”
Syabira: “I usually get them from the supermarket.”
Amazing.
Updated
Last week we said goodbye to Will, which meant that even though there was a Will there wasn’t a way (sorry.)
Why do the opening jokes of Bake Off always seem like they came up with them in a panic?
Anyway, as ever, let us know what you’re baking and what biscuits you are breaking ahead of tonight’s episode.
In another new feature I’m calling “COMMENT OF THE WEEK,” there was this A+ reaction to Paul’s moan during the technical, after standing like a statue all of the Signature.
Alas it will be another 90 minute episode this week … but it is back to 75 minutes next week!
Still, makes me miss the old BBC 60 minutes.
Also Google carefully everyone. We’re all in this together.
Beware: a certain tabloid newspaper has published the name (and interview with) tonight's #GBBO evictee... 2 hours before it airs.
— TV Zone (@tvukzone) September 20, 2022
In MANGO WATCH we had one use of mango in last week’s Signature by Maxy. Can we double its use this week?*
*Yes, this is a feature. Don’t encourage me or I’ll make a mango totaliser.
Hello and welcome to the Guardian’s liveblog for Bake Off. It’s biscuit week!
I’m Scott Bryan and I’ll be your guide as we pick apart how well the bakers are doing and discuss whether the recipes are worth the faff or whether everyone should have just gone to the shops instead.
Let’s start with a recap of last Tuesday’s episode, as I am well aware that there is a lot on.
We met the bakers! Everyone fell in love with Sandro and the lovely Syabira, who came out with the relatable line: “If I’m upset I’ll cry! If I’m happy, I’ll cry!”
Then, of course, there was the woman affectionately known as Compost Carole, who has the most memorable hair in the show’s history. She came out with: “This is my coffee and walnut. Who doesn’t like coffee and walnuts? Unless you don’t like coffee and are allergic to nuts!”
We were all united in shock when Dawn admitted she worked for Boris Johnson. And all the readers and commenters agreed on one thing: we loathe red velvet cake.
Janusz was awarded Star Baker. He is an utter delight, and he owns a sausage dog called Nigel. When he won Star Baker he was so excited he yelled down the phone: “I just wanted you tell you I won Star Caker in Bake Week!”
