So that’s it for another week! I’m off to hop about the Greek islands tomorrow, so won’t be here for next week’s Patisserie quarter final, but the lovely Julia Raeside will be standing in.
I’ll be back in two weeks, however, then we’ll push on through to the final. Thanks for joining in and being hilarious as ever, do pop by Twitter @heidistephens if you want to say hello or pass on your Greece travel tips. See you in two weeks! Hx
And Star Baker is...TAMAL! Yes! His time has finally come.
And going home is...MAT! He had a rubbish week, but always sad to see anyone go at this stage. He’s delighted to have made it to week 7 and to have won Star Baker last week. What a top man.
Tamal rings his mum, and she’s very excited. I’m very happy for Tamal, he’s lovely.
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So Mat to go this week I reckon, and Tamal for Star Baker?
Flora’s looks very pretty, and it has very distinctive lairs. Mary loves the jelly, because it’s quite boozy. The pomegranate is surplus to requirements, however. Nadiya’s bavarois looks lovely, although her fingers are a bit flat and don’t look like a ladies’ finger. Paul loves the flavour, a top effort by Nadiya. Prison Paul’s fruit sculptures are all kinds of fabulous, but his jelly hasn’t set.
Ian’s crown looks spectacular, and the inside is outstanding. “Purely magical”, says Paul. Mat’s fingers look like hotdog buns, and it’s all falling apart. His jelly hasn’t set, but it has a lovely flavour. The bavarois is gorgeous too, Mat looks much happier. Tamal’s fingers look very special, and the inside looks like something I might even have a go on. A perfect balance of flavours - can Tamal PLEASE have Star Baker this week?
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Mat’s Russe has split, and he’s having a meltdown. Decorations are being added, and they all look rather fabulous. Ian’s crown looks amazing, and everyone gives him a round of applause.
One hour left, so Nadiya gets her ladies’ fingers out of the freezer and bungs in her mango bavarois. Ian’s bavarois looks like fishpaste and is making me boak. In goes the jelly, and everything goes back in the freezer. You could cut the tension with a lady finger.
So far nobody’s lady fingers look remotely like the fingers of any lady I’ve ever met, unless you have hands like a bundle of spoons.
Tamal is making very purple macarons for the top, whilst Flora is spooning her truffles. Paul is carving apples into swans, which look amazing. “It’s like a hotel in Thailand over there” says Mat, causing Tamal to laugh uncomfortably. Hmm. Maybe we’ll hear his Thai hotel story another day. I bet it involves sandwiches and a special garden.
Paul is hoping 1.5 gelatin sheets will be enough. It almost certainly won’t be.
Nadiya is using Italian meringue in her bavarois - she’s doing both mango and strawberry to make nice layers. She’s not worried about not having an elaborate design. Flora’s plan is to get the judges trollied on champagne, good work.
Ian has a special tool to keep his ladies’ fingers even. Meanwhile Tamal a spiced blackberry russe, with cardamom. His has a jelly bottom, rather than sponge.
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Tamal is worried his sponge fingers look a bit plain, so he’s adding chocolate swirls. Mat is making strawberry bavarois with strawberry fingers, strawberry jelly and strawberry topping. I’m worried about the strawberries.
Flora’s adding champagne truffles to her raspberry bavarois. What no almond biscuits?
Ian’s Charlotte Russe has rhubarb compote, ginger jelly and a big crown on top. Prison Paul is also going grand, with a strawberry bavarois, rhubarb jelly and some apple swans. Get him.
Paul just said “ladies’ fingers”, and I’m dry heaving.
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Showstopper time! This week it’s a Charlotte Russe, which is a bavarois (jellified custard to you and I) surrounded by sponge fingers and topped with jelly. It sounds like a really disgusting trifle, which is the most rank dessert ever. Stop it.
Mat’s cake comes 6th, Ian is 5th, Flora comes 4th, Tamal 3rd, Prison Paul 2nd and Nadiya gets first place! Good work Nads.
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Prison Paul’s cake only has a partial net, but his cake tastes good. Nadiya has all her decorations in place, and her cake is good too. Mat’s net is a fiasco, and his court has flumped. All a bit of a mess, and his cake is raw in the middle. Tamal’s piping is good, but there’s no net. Good flavour, however. Flora’s net has tumbled, but it’s well piped around the edges. Her cake is overbaked, however. Ian’s net is missing too, and his cake is underbaked.
I don’t think these will be troubling Wimbledon any time soon.
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Cakes are being fanned, and the tension music has been ramped up. The courts are on, and Mat appears to have baked his icing for no apparent reason.
Flora’s tennis net has crumbled, and only Nadiya’s appears to be in one piece.
Cakes are finally out, and now need to cool. Tamal’s has sunk a bit, and Prison Paul’s is crumbling. He doesn’t like the Bake Off tins much. Bad workman etc.
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Mat’s tennis court is definitely astroturf rather than grass. He won Star Baker last week, I’m not fancying his chances today. Now their cakes just need to finish baking, so they can get the topping on.
Nobody can remember what a tennis court looks like. This is the bit I’d be good at.
Nadiya’s sugar paste looks amazing, whilst Flora’s gelatin has seized and it looks like chewing gum. Not sure anyone’s worshipping that any time soon. Mat’s sugar paste looks like toxic green slime, when it’s supposed to be like play-doh. Oops.
“There’s a lot of gelatin in Victorian food”, Flora informs us, “I have visions that Victorians used to worship gelatin”. If only more deities were based on the boiled-up bones, hooves and bumholes of cows and pigs, religion would be so much more fun.
Mary’s recipe requires sugar paste, which Tamal has never even considered making. Nadiya made it yesterday, however, throwing a bucketful of shade in Tamal’s direction.
Cakes are in, time to make marzipan and royal icing. Ian isn’t sure what royal icing is – he thinks it might be the stuff that dries when it gets piped. That’s bath sealant, surely? Colour is being added – they need a third of their icing to be white, a third to be pale pink, and a third light gold. Mat’s pink looks like mashed kidneys.
Fruit is being chopped - “size is important”, says Tamal. Leave it, Heidi.
Basically it’s a brick of fruitcake, with some fancy icing on the top. It looks very heavy going, I’d need to play at least a five-setter to work that off.
“I mean it can’t be that hard, right? It’s a cake?” says Nadiya. I love her.
Next up it’s the technical challenge – some kind of rich Victorian fruitcake with royal icing, in the shape of a tennis court. I suspect Mary may have made this up.
Judging time! Mat’s looks beautiful, although his antlers look like dolphins. Inside looks great too, but the flavour needs more bacon. Ian’s roadkill pie isn’t decorated enough for Mary’s liking, and the pastry is too thick, but his filling is exceptional. Mary is also ready for Ian’s jelly.
Nadiya’s pie has a beautiful design, but the spices overpower the game flavours. Tamal’s pie looks lovely too, and his filling is lovely and moist. His spices are a win too - he even earns a handshake from Paul (and a killer death stare from Nadiya).
Prison Paul’s decoration is a bit random, and his pastry is a bit thick in places, and it’s a bit overbaked. Flora’s is overfilled and overbaked, which has left her pigeon a little tough. Mary likes her crisp pastry, even though it looks like you could use it as a cycle helmet.
Everyone’s pies are cooked nicely in the middle, but Flora is having a meltdown. With one minute to go, her filling is cooked. The pastry looks a bit overdone, however.
Ian has a pot of pigs trotters and pork bones on the go, to make his jelly with. Mmm, yummy.
The filling needs to reach 65 degrees to be cooked, but Flora’s is currently 26. “It ain’t going to help if you keep it out here”, says Mat, constructively.
Meanwhile Flora is worried she may have over-filled her pie. I think you’ll find there’s no such thing as too much filling, Flora.
Pastry is being popped into moulds – some have gone for fancy shapes, others standard cake tins. Prison Paul is manipulating his pastry to prevent leakage. Tamal’s filling looks like cat food.
Fancy decorations abound, apparently the Victorians were all about pimping their pies with some fancy frippery and a spot of bling. Tamal is making crescent moons and roses, something about the Arabian knights (or nights?) in a garden, which all makes sense in his head. After last week’s sandwich musings, I’m beginning to suspect that Dr Tamal might be sniffing the gas and air.
Flora once won a Highland Chef competition, which earned her the nickname “bird girl”. She’s putting pheasant, pigeon, rabbit and pork belly in her pie.
Ian is making roadkill pie, whch includes venison, partridge and guinea fowl. Quite posh roadkill round Ian’s way, distinct lack of fox and badger.
Hang on, didn’t he use guinea fowl eggs last week? HAS HE KILLED HIS GUINEA FOWL?
Nadiya’s pie also has some spicy flavours, and includes rabbit, venison and duck. No pigeon for Nadiya, she’s upgraded. I’m disappointed nobody has bagged a squirrel from outside the tent.
Mat has found a tin from 1850, belonging to the mum of his friend Dangerous Dave. His pie includes venison and pigeon, plus herbs. He’s decorating it with antlers and plaits.
Tamal’s pie has a Middle Eastern twist, and includes rabbit, pigeon and venison, as well as almonds and apricots. That sounds yummy.
Tamal has already dropped an egg. Mary is looking splendid in a navy puffa. First job, making a hot water pastry.
Prison Paul is making his pie with boar, venison and pigeon. He’s using a modern take on a traditional Victorian tin. Mary gives him a history lesson, and his face says “leave me alone, I’m busy”.
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So Victorian baking week. Flora doesn’t know much about the Victorians, other than “they had really good frocks”. The industrial revolution? The British Empire? Nope, just the dresses.
First up, the Signature Challenge. This week they have to make a game pie, because there’s nothing the Victorians loved more than shooting birds and rabbits, then packing them in a pastry coffin. It needs to have a hot water crust pastry, and they can include jelly or not (my vote would be for NOT).
And we’re off! Previously on Bake Off, Pastry Week. Frangipane tarts, Cypriot Flaounes and some decidedly dodgy-looking vol-au-vents. After many weeks of giving it his all, Alvin’s plums failed to impress and his time in the Bake Off tent came to an end. Meanwhile Mat was crowned Star Baker despite appearing entirely clueless most of the time. Still thinking about the frangipane tarts quite a lot. Mmm, tarts.
Talking of which, I found out what the other sandwich in Tamal’s top two is:
So the other top sandwich was: meatball, caramelised onion and cheddar toasted ciabatta. I think about that one a lot too! #GBBO
— TAMAL RAY (@DrRayBakes) September 9, 2015
This week’s Bake Off Bingo – a mouthful of spotted dick for any occurrence of the following:
• Sue in a smoking jacket
• Mat cooking with coconut
• Produce from Ian’s smallholding (double bingo if it’s a suckling pig)
• Marzipan animals
• Tamal reminiscing about sandwiches
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Bake Off liveblog! We’re heading into uncharted GBBO territory this evening, dusting off some fusty cookbooks for an evening of Victorian baking. I’m wearing a high-necked pinny for the occasion, in a length that covers my finely turned ankles; wouldn’t want you getting flustered or anything.
Tonight I’ll be up here keeping a close eye on every bodged bavarois and perfect pie, while you add a touch of Victorian-style wit and wisdom in the comment box down below. Nothing too saucy, mind.
Pop on a bonnet, tighten your corset, and I’ll see you 8!
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