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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Scott Bryan

The Great British Bake Off 2022: episode six – as it happened

Matt and Noel on The Great British Bake Off Halloween special.
Matt and Noel on The Great British Bake Off Halloween special. Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Channel 4 / Love Productions

Thanks for such a lovely evening once again you lovely baker lot. We’ll be back with CUSTARD WEEK.

And leaving the tent is... Dawn!

DAWN! Although I was at first rather confused why she would admit to having proudly worked for Boris Johnson, but has been such a lovely, passionate baker throughout the series. A relatable delight.

Star Baker is ... Syabira.

Oh thank goodness. She has been a creative force for quite a while now, but this week got the perfect balance of flavours. I’m so thrilled for her. She is a finalist worth contending against.

We are all this spider after the politics on Monday.

Syabira is up next. Her bake looks absolutely stunning. Amazing that she has done it in four hours. I reckon she is up for winning Star Baker. The stars are aligning.

The STARS ARE ALIGNING.

Too much truffle, but it’s fine.

Dawn’s bake can hang! And then it immediately splits in two.

But her bake doesn’t taste of anything and is rock hard – and a bit basic.

There’s a good chance that popular favourite Dawn could be on the way out.

Kevin up next, and I think his bake fell apart before Prue had even hit it with a rolling pin.

And yet, good flavours. He could be on the way out, but he’s not done too badly. Oh and Prue just did a joke about “the nuts hanging out” because of course she did.

Paul and Prue are enjoying smashing the bakes a little too much for my liking.

Abdul’s lantern is great. Needed a bit more time in the oven, but he’s easily through to next week.

Maxy’s lantern just looks spooky. Remember, it’s Halloween! You can just say it is spooky.

Extremely good reviews though. It only needed smaller treats.

Janusz next, with his delightfully spooky popcorn lantern.

And Prue delivers this line that you would only hear on a show like this: “I think you should have put more crickets in there.”

And now it is showstopper hanging lantern judging!

And they have to move their lanterns to the front of the tent to present.

“This is something you can buy in a supermarket” says Paul, forgetting that this is the catchphrase from the technical challenge, not the showstopper.

Sandro went too strong on his flavours. He should not get too carried away with how it all looks.

Sandro on Kevin’s bake: “It … errrr… well…”

How are we all hanging? Because half the bakers have hardly been able to do it themselves.

Another Bake Off first. Sandro is using a DRILL. Maxy cannot get hers to hang. I am so tense I have lost the ability to write in a proper sentence structure using commas. It’s all go right now.

This is genuinely tense television. All the bakers are behind, everything is on the verge of breaking apart and remember … The bakes have to LITERALLY BE HANGING for some reason I cannot remember.

Abdul: “I’m flattening the tops.”

Stop looking at me. I’m not making any puns.

Instead of a cat, Dawn has basically baked a Death Star.

Kevin looks stressed, Maxy looks stressed and Syabira started this challenge by literally shaking.

Abdul: “I am using matcha … and I know that Paul and Prue don’t like matcha!”

Camera throws to Janusz happily tipping blended crickets into their moulds.

Maxy is baking a gingerbread lantern … and it already looks like it is falling apart before she even bakes it.

Maxy’s bake falling apart in Halloween week truly would be a terrifying twist.

Sandro is not using an oven … altogether.

He is also baking a skull disco ball made out of 200 skulls and baking five surprises instead of the anticipated three.

I’m just going to say it … he needs to be more ambitious. He’s hardly stretching himself.

Noel Fielding, the prince of darkness … hates spiders.

You learn something new every day.

“I think this is very original and I am looking forward to them,” says Prue, without batting an eyelid.

I didn’t expect this! Considering how snobby they can sometimes be (Exhibit A: Paul’s distaste of tofu) I’m happy they have embraced it wholeheartedly.

MOVE OVER MANGOES. Janusz has decided to bake his showstopper with … crickets.

Now I try not to get too fussy about insects (after all, many of us eat all different parts of animals without a care and eating insects can be far more sustainable considering there are billions of them) but crickets???? To be judged on Bake Off? Good luck to him.

Bake Off has a rule that the bakers must wear the same clothing on both days of filming, just in case they have to reshoot anything small.

Janusz is following this instruction to the letter by also wearing eyeliner and heels for a second consecutive day. I salute him.

Just realised that this episode has obviously been filmed in May. So they’re pretending it is Halloween in May for an episode of Bake Off that isn’t even being shown on Halloween. Glorious.

The showstopper challenge is … a hanging lantern!

“When smashed open, it must show an array of sweet treats.”

Who are we thinking for the bottom? Kevin? Even though he came third in the technical?

The competition at the top is getting much fiercer.

I predicted that Syabira could get Star Baker this week. With a handshake and now a top ranking on the technical challenge there’s a great chance she could.

Syabira: “Paul says my bake is 95% there. 95% is A+ still!”

How nice it is to hear such compliments from Janusz, saying that he’s happy she has won because she needed this confidence boost.

Anyway 7. Abdul (the underdog of the series is now last. Reader, I think this is part of the plan). 6. Maxy (surprisingly low!). 5. Dawn. 4. Sandro. 3. Kevin. 2. Janusz. 1. Syabira.

I’m sorry, but being so specifically judgmental about s’mores is hilarious, even though it is their job. It’s like judging tap water.

And now it is time for the s'mores technical judging.

Where is the campfire? Where are the spooky stories?

And why is Paul Hollywood breaking all of these s’mores with a knife and fork when he said that the best way to eat s’mores is with your hands mere moments ago?

I admire Abdul deciding to flamethrower his bake mere moments before presenting it to Paul and Prue. This is simply inspiration to me.

Abdul: “Inside, it is still very wet and sticky.”

Don’t look at me. I’m not going to respond with anything.


Maxy: “It’s not as stable as it should be.”

Maxy making an observation on the latest happenings in Westminster, there.

Abdul coming out with the technical challenge catchphrase of: “why would I bake these when I could literally go to the shops.”

See? He really is the underdog of the season.

Both Maxy and Abdul have forgotten to put in gelatine into their bakes at the same time.

It appears to be too late for them to include it, so will this knock them to the bottom?

Noel: “I’ve got fillings right down my back teeth and all down my leg.”

Dawn (choosing to ignore Noel because she just wants him gone): “Really? That’s good.”

S’mores … two digestive biscuits from a packet, marshmallow from a packet. Done.

Oh they have to make all of these things from scratch? Got it.

Now it is time for the technical challenge … They have to bake s'mores!

Considering what happened last week, I’m surprised they even told them what they have to bake this time round.

SYABIRA ALSO GETS A HANDSHAKE!

The flavour queen is back!

Sandro says “I am happy for Syabira” while clearly hiding his jealousy that he is yet to receive one himself. While being dressed as an angel. The irony is not being lost on me here.

Maxy has … got a HANDSHAKE.

“I think you did the apple justice,” says Paul, which is hilarious because they are apples.

This very much sums up Halloween Week.

Most of Bake Off these days consists of Paul moaning that there isn’t enough of a certain flavour. Janusz and Dawn have both just got such criticism.

At least it isn’t as bad as Kevin’s, which has melted, not because of the heat, but because he added the cream cheese on to the cake while it was still way too warm.

Abdul is next … with his Bonfire Cake. I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again. I reckon he is the underdog of the series because he keeps raising his game and the compliments he has been receiving have been getting better and better.

He just got a “I think you did really well” comment from Prue.

It’s time for the signature judging … Sandro is up first.

“I know it’s Halloween … but I think your skull ruins the cake.”

Paul Hollywood complained that it isn’t apple-y enough. At least it isn’t an Android (I’m sorry).

hahahahaha

It is November 2024. Fourteen Consecutive Prime Ministers have fallen on their swords.

Kevin: “I still haven’t put my bake into the oven.”

It’s a unique premise … Halloween week, because you could just present something terrible and go Yes, it is supposed to look like that.

It is Halloween week.

Oh wow, Syabira doing the Val tradition of listening to her bakes to check whether they are ready.

Both of them … icons.

And Abdul wearing a spacesuit?

Clear panic 10 minutes before the Halloween party energy here.

Kevin not baking anything inspired by Scotland? Now that’s spooky.

Syabira is so ambitious that she’s basically doing a showstopper for a signature this week.

Although plum cream cheese filling? Love you Syabira, but I’ll pass.

BREAKING NEWS: JANUSZ IS BAKING IN HEELS.

Why is Halloween week two and a half weeks early? No idea.

Then again, last week during an ad break there was a Christmas advert. Time is a construct.

Anyway, it looks as if in the showstopper challenge they have to hang something while presenting their bakes, which reminds me of this truly baffling time from Bake Off Belgium when they had to present their showstopper cakes hanging upside down.

You can guess what happened next.

It’s the Signature … they have to bake an apple cake.

“You have two spooky hours.” “On your marks… get set BOO!”

Am I the only one who finds Janusz wearing eyeshadow somehow alluring?

The liveblog with Heidi and I will be A LOT

And in COMMENT OF THE WEEK, thank you to the person who shared this fun fact about James from his Extra Slice interview. Just delightful.

Now it’s time for some genuine tension and the chance to see someone’s ambitious plans falling apart in front of everyone’s eyes …

… but enough about the government. It’s Halloween week on The Great British Bake Off!

Holy glockymolo. Last week we said goodbye to our lovely Compost Carole, who flirted with danger so much that she uttered the line: “This is a coffee and walnut. Who doesn’t like coffee and walnuts? Unless you don’t like coffee and you’re allergic to nuts.”

And it’s all looking rather interesting when it comes to Star Bakers in the tent. Sandro (finally) received a Star Baker for his truly out of this world Showstopper. Meanwhile Maxy and Janusz both have two Star Bakers each. And despite a wobbly dessert week for Syabira (who had to bake a lemon meringue pie with no instructions, despite never having eaten one), she must be close to a Star Baker herself. I’m hoping this week will finally be her week.

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