All in all though, this week has been a lot cheerier. There was genuine laughter in the tent. The judges were smiling. It felt nice.
We’ll be back next week - with me in full mourning regalia (complete with elegant black veil) as the bakers take on Eighties Week. I might put a framed photo of Mark next to the TV lest I miss him too much. In the meantime, catch me here and Scott here - ciao for now!
Paul and Prue eat at least 150 bakes a series, so Paul has eaten at least 1500 bakes, not including the festive specials.
Head Girl Lottie can now add the Star Baker to her name - and what a cracker of week she had. To hand Paul a cake he’s never seen before on his hundredth episode is quite the achievement!
Did it work #GBBO pic.twitter.com/CUPZuxkuu4
— Andrew Barker (@Andrew_Barker10) October 27, 2020
Mark’s unexpected departure shows how close it is between everyone. Usually there’s a clear frontrunner by this point, but look at who has won Star Baker so far: Peter (Cake Week), Dave (Biscuit Week), Marc (Bread Week), Mark (Chocolate Week), Laura (Pastry Week) and Lottie (Japanese Week). All of them, bar Mark, are still in the competition. If I was Hermine, I would be sweating, even though her bakes have been consistent.
Mark is leaving the tent.
KA-WHYYYYYYYYYY?! How COULD they? Our Northern Irish King is no more. Laura saved herself with that brilliant showstopper and sadly Mark left the Bake Off bubble. I am bereft.
Seeing this as a snub, to be honest.
Please think of me at this difficult time.
Matt: “Every bake in the Showstopper was wow.” Prue: “To look at …”
The fall of Mark is not expected – even though his Showstopper fell apart last week too. One bad bake could be all it takes now.
Oh.
I hate to break it to you. According to Paul, it’s “inedible.” Well, actually, he said “un-edible” - which isn’t a word.
Updated
I was busy gazing into Mark’s eyes so I missed most of what was said just then. Did it go well?
It is always difficult to see Paul and Prue cut into a gorgeous looking cake, but especially so as Paul sliced into Mark’s avocados. I yelped.
The upside down upside down pineapple cake is a brilliant idea. And it tastes good! Win-win. Sounds like she may have saved herself?
The best Upside Down since Diana Ross!
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 27, 2020
Here’s Laura with her Upside Down Pineapple Kawaii Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/Qa2kjy3fyd
Calling Hermine a “very good French baker” is a bit of a backhander in Japanese Week.
So pleased that Lottie is hitting her stride. She’s one of the characters of this series and it would be much weaker without her.
So good that even Super Mario would hold off jumping on it.
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 27, 2020
Here’s Lottie and her ‘Into The Japanese Woods’ Kawaii Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/mfNKgG2N0X
Lottie’s SURELY a shoo-in for star baker. Oh, Paul tells us he has also been to Japan. Has everyone but me been to Japan?
On to the final judgements...
Has Scottish Peter made a shuttlecock or is it a hula-dancing egg?
BADminton? This is GOODminton!
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 27, 2020
Here’s Peter and his Dizzy The Shuttlecock Kawaii Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/jGe7VVB5ra
Updated
Mark carefully nudging his avocado seed into his avocado was practically ASMR. Very pleasing. And Noel was right about Laura’s upside down pineapple kawaii cake. It’s actually the best of the bunch.
Why is Mark pronouncing Kawaii like “Huawei”?
Noel is simply the best at throwing himself into difficult situations and reassuring them, isn’t he? “I honestly don’t think this looks bad,” he says to Laura about her cake, which honestly, does not look bad. If only Noel could give us all a pep talk to get us through the rest of the year.
Nooo Laura is crying! Send in the Noel!
I can’t believe I’m saying this again, but... MANGO KLAXON!
Marc is dabbling with mangoes again (and they SNEAKILY made only a passing reference to it). That makes it 6:3 to the mangoes.
Scott’s been back on his graph game...
UPDATE:
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 27, 2020
*WHY* are there so many mangoes in Bake Off this year? It's wild. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/aj7N8VzxGx
Laura’s being brave there, taking her cake out of the oven in front of Paul. Last year I refused to do anything important with him prowling around, and covered all my bowls with tea-towels so he couldn’t see inside.
I love the many ways the bakers are trying to incorporate Japanese ingredients into their bakes. So many quirky ideas, and then there’s Peter’s “Dizzy the Shuttlecock,” inspired by his love of coaching badminton to children.
Dave: “I am going to bake a cake for my dog called Yoko, named after a city called Yokohama in Japan.”
Hermine: “I am baking a cake inspired by a tree I once saw in Slough.”
Laura’s cake, like my mental health, “has the potential to collapse easily”. Gulp.
Both Dave and Marc are baking cakes inspired by their dogs. Can we have a future themed week where the bakes make cakes inspired by their pets? Seriously we’ve had less weird Showstopper challenges this series.
Mark is making a cake in the shape of an avocado. His bake will be made out of several avocados, which means that according to most newspapers he won’t ever be able to afford a house.
Kawaii cakes for the Showstopper!
Quite a broad brief for the bakers this week. Kawaii means “cute”, and that’s just about all the guidance they’ve been given.
Well, this week is all topsy-turvy - going into the Showstopper, I don’t know if we really have any front-runners or … the opposite of front-runners? Back-crawlers?
I’m losing my edge. Feeling vulnerable in my position as a Guardian live-blogger due to the endlessly superior matcha puns BTL. A personal favourite:
Here’s where they stand following the technical: Seventh: Laura (simply because she didn’t have enough crêpes). Sixth: Marc. Fifth: Mark. Fourth: Hermine. Third: Dave. Second: Lottie. First: Peter. Peter came first in last week’s technical challenge too so he’s pretty safe, but it’s very close between everyone else. Everybody is at risk – especially Laura.
I want to eat Mark’s hair.
Judging...
They all don’t look that bad this week. Way better than the c̶h̶u̶r̶r̶o̶s̶ éclairs from last week.
Poor Linda. We’ll never forget how you basically told the judges “make it yourselves” during a technical challenge. Iconic. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/evP0QEMGik
— Brutally Honest Bake Off (@HonestBakeOff) October 20, 2020
Peter’s “Game, Set, Matcha” annoyingly beats my “Matcha-do about nothing” comment. Will he get the Guardian gig next year?!
They should. The moon is having quite the week Michael.
RE: decoration, it’s concerning how few of them know what a crescent is. Have they ever seen the moon?
ANOTHER MANGO! DID YOU SEE IT? A decorative one, no less! (5:3 to the mangoes).
Wait Scott … have you been to Japan? Mangoes: 4, Michael Palin - sorry - Scott : 3.
Meanwhile, Noel has been set a secret task to gaslight each baker throughout the challenge. Or perhaps he’s been possessed by Sue Perkins, the Ghost of Bake Off Past…
Be honest, How many people just thought "Selasi can flip my pancakes any day"? #GBBO pic.twitter.com/7pzYOboyoG
— Sarah Doran (@sarahisnothere) September 14, 2016
This technical is such a faff. Instead of going to the shops, go to Japan instead. Also this complicated challenge is just making me think of this spot-on tweet from last week:
Just once I'd like to have Paul and Prue in a separate tent trying to complete the task with exactly the same parameters and timing restrictions as the bakers. Simultaneously. Just once. #gbbo
— Sara Barnard (@saramegan) October 20, 2020
This is very stressful to watch. It’s the Blue Peter pancake flipping challenge, from hell. Peter looks like he’s going to flip at any moment, which is a good thing as according to the instructions, that’s what he’s supposed to do.
Yes, it absolutely does. You’ve spent ages whisking in air, so you want to keep it in there by handling any batter as delicately as possible. (According to Google…)
Mark’s in a dilemma about folding or whisking his meringue. Does it matter whether you whisk or fold in a meringue?
A very good point. It’s pretty Linda, isn’t it?
“What could possibly go wrong?” says Mark. “Here’s what could go wrong,” says Paul. Classic.
That said, this feels like a really good technical challenge. All the elements are achievable, it’s just the sum result that’s a surprise.
Matcha-do about nothing! I happen to know that Paul hates matcha. This could be interesting.
Time for the Technical!
They have to make a Matcha crêpe cake consisting of a dozen matcha crepes stacked on top of each other.
“Do not panic,” says Prue, as everyone panics. I hope their final products don’t look crêpe.
Peter is going into the technical with confidence, which is utterly unrelatable.
Who knew that this challenge would be so full of double entendres? Lottie’s burgers looked fab. When Paul cuts into them I expect it to be cake, because everything in 2020 is.
Channel 4: "Welcome to The Great British Bake Off."
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 27, 2020
Lottie: pic.twitter.com/6RKd86voq6
“I don’t mind them being too big”, says Prue. Personally, I prefer a manageable size. Honestly, I’m not trying to find all this innuendo, I’m just being slapped in the face with it. As it were.
Laura’s pig steamed buns look great … apart from the ones that look as if they were hit by lightning.
*says ten Hail Marys, throws salt over left shoulder*
A “nice smooth top” on Mark’s buns. Careful boys.
Time for Paul and Prue to judge the bakers' buns!
We’re starting with Hermine’s pandas, which look like they have been too close to a hairdryer – otherwise ok.
We would literally all die.
Meanwhile, if you forgot what happened last week, here’s a recap (with apologies to Harry Hill).
"Last Week's Bake Off In A Nutshell" – with apologies to Harry Hill #GBBO pic.twitter.com/Z9YH6hKQPs
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 27, 2020
Mark (commenting on Lottie’s buns): “They looked good. Good little buns. Nice.”
Lottie (commenting on Mark’s buns): “Mark’s are better than mine. Livid.”
Marc’s buns are enormous.
This is the best looking Signature of the series so far I think. Everyone’s buns are looking fabulous (NOT a euphemism), but especially Lottie’s.
“Cakes are boring”, says Lottie. Mary Berry is rolling in her grave.
Everything that Lottie says this episode is coming out with Daria-like sarcasm. Her on-screen friendship with Mark also calls to mind other great friendships in the tent, like Selasi and Benjamina from series seven, and Tamal and Nadiya from series six.
We'll miss Selasi and Benjamina's antics in the tent. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/at8tj7fKoC
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 12, 2016
Mangoes: 4, Scott’s Lonely Planet guide: 2.
Now. Apparently you’ve got to be careful with where you put your meat within these buns. Oo-err.
Hermine is baking steamed pandas. She’s also said, based on her research, that bread in Japan is heavily influenced by French bakeries. She’s right. Japanese bread is up there as being some of the best in the world. If you’re ever there head to a bakery for breakfast.
Ghehhkins ain’t wehhhkin for Paul. I would like to take back my previous spiralising comment as I have just remembered curly fries, the pinnacle of potatoes.
Great, now I’m Googling “are chips Japanese?”
Updated
Meanwhile, Lottie is spiralising chips. I don’t think chips need to be spiralised.
Noel is trying to create a rivalry between Lottie and Mark, who are both making steamed burger buns. Current relationship status: Lottie and Mark shouting “BURGER OFF” at each other.
MANGO KLAXON! Marc is incurring the wrath of those BTL at a very early stage this week. Current bingo scores: Mangoes: 3, Scott’s trip to Japan: 1.
Mangoes: 2, Scott’s trip to Japan: 1.
Peter’s using cumin. Someone once ruined that spice for me by saying it wrong. Ten points if you can work out how they pronounced it.
Lots of the bakers appear to be making buns in the shape of cute animals. Speaking of cute things from Japan, their mascots are like nothing else. Would highly recommend following @MondoMascots on Twitter, for things like this:
Shinagawan (the dog mascot for cable TV in Shinagawa, Tokyo) has a robot double, named Mecha-Shinagawan. pic.twitter.com/paJPP70AFK
— Mondo Mascots (@mondomascots) July 27, 2020
Dave’s filling sounds like two middle aged women on a night out: Kat, Sue, Curry. Otherwise known as a number 71 in Wagamamas.
Noel Fielding trying to be the most Noel Fielding he can be, joking that he would fill his bun with “human blood.” When reminded by Matt that this is a family show, he goes with “dog blood” instead.
Bao, bella - it’s the signature!
Eight steamed buns - sweet or savoury. Two hours and thirty minutes. Easy.
Michael, we’re literally minutes into this week’s episode, calm down.
Mark’s hair looks particularly delicious today.
Mangoes: 1, Scott: 0.
Mangoes have had such a presence this series, especially in Biscuit Week, that it’s become a running joke in this liveblog (and BTL). And now, in the opening gag of this episode, Matt Lucas is wearing a giant mango on his head. Resistance is futile.
We need a Bake Off investigation into their MANGO obsession this year, seriously #GBBO pic.twitter.com/3GMZvzuNpq
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 27, 2020
For all our sakes, I hope not...
Bingo this week - how many times will Scott mention his trips to Japan? Will he in fact write part of the blog in Japanese? And, as always, we’re on mango watch …
A disclaimer: I am a big fan of Japan, I have visited the country on holiday at every opportunity, and my dissertation at university was about Japanese agricultural development in the 1870s. So apologies in advance for how insufferable I get this evening.
Will Japanese Week be a week full of new and interesting bakes? Or will be one that’s instantly forgotten and never mentioned again, just like Tudor Week or Forgotten Bakes Week?
Hello! We have hurtled past the half-way mark of this year’s Bake Off - and this week the bakers are taking on Japan! To my shame, I know precious little about Japanese baking other than those fancy fluffy pancakes everyone was talking about back in February. (Ah, February. A simpler time …)
