And that's it for cake week.
Thank you for all of your comments and your wonderful welcome! Michael and I feel very much at home.
I think we can all agree, that even though this show starting directly after a Boris statement was exceptionally weird, the following hour showed that we really do need Bake Off more than ever.
Until next week.
Nailed it #GBBO pic.twitter.com/pSN22Ex0No
— Hol ♡ (@hollierebekahx) September 22, 2020
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I want to see a Bake Off special of first week eliminees, I feel like Loreia would smash it. She was well cool.
2020 is a weird year for us all, but it’s been especially weird for Loreia. Go into lockdown. Practice baking for weeks on end without telling everyone. Head to Bake Off and go into isolation for nine days. Debut and then leave in the first two days. Then tell nobody that this has happened for eight more weeks. Then proudly tell the world you’re on Bake Off. And then immediately leave.
We’re so sad to see you go, Loriea. It’s never easy being the first to depart, but you can hold your head up very high. It’s been wonderful having you in the tent! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/4rxNNSTx5r
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
And the baker being sent home is... Loreia
SO gutted for Loreia. Going first is especially hard when you’ve prepared for the full season. At least she got to go home and… be back in lockdown? Sigh.
Yes, Laura has indeed made the Pringles can-man but is laughing along. I love her.
Freddie Mercury’s head exploded… but the Dough Must Go On! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/hlEdJpbxKC
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
Once she popped she couldn’t stop.
MISS LOU PHONE HOOOOOOOME
I am sorry to inform everyone that David Bowie has melted.
The David Bowie Showstopper - more Gobbling King than Goblin King. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/j43FmQbJG4
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
Nothing more 2020 than Paul Hollywood stabbing cake celebrities in the head. Linda’s Bob Marley sculpture is my sleep paralysis demon.
The showstoppers are now being judged.
This has been extremely tense. Are we all doing okay? This question could apply to both to this episode or 2020, as you wish.
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David Attenborough’s face, upside down whilst smiling at the ceiling, is like all of us directly after the latest coronavirus briefing.
— no context bake off (@nocontextgbbo) September 22, 2020
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I don’t know about you but seeing all of these faces falling over and disintegrating all over the floor is extremely relatable. Matt Lucas saying “some of Freddie Mercury’s head is not there” is a sentence you will only ever hear on Bake Off.
Meanwhile...
‘Who just said they’re having fun?!’ - cross Lottie, again, is a mood. Also, is Laura making the man from the Pringles can?
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There are going to be falling cakes, aren’t there? It’s hard to type while my hands are busy covering my eyes.
This is a ‘mood’
Gays on Twitter: here's some banana bread.
— shane reaction ☘️ (@shane_reaction_) September 22, 2020
Gays on #gbbo: look, here's a life size bust of Marie Antoinette.
Rowan is using an open drawer as a cooling rack and I’ve never been more impressed by anything.
*Hides my avid collection of life-sized Louis Theroux cake busts*
I am losing track of what’s happening because everyone is acting like making a cake bust is normal and it’s blowing my mind.
Rowan is giggling deliriously into a cup of tea. I am Rowan. We are Rowan.
“Paul, I’m going to bake a life size 3D head of Sir David Attenborough.”
Bake Off in 2020 having a normal one.
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Oh yes. I forgot that in one episode last year you made what looked like a quilt, that you then grilled.
I can’t believe that I am asking this in The Guardian... but what celebrity would you bake as a celebrity cake bust?
Oh, so not cake boobs. But still... this is a WILD first showstopper.
I remember seeing interviews with the judges in my year saying they’d ‘simplified the challenges’ knowing they’d asked us to make multi-layered, multi-coloured grilled cakes.
Wait. Are they making cake boobs? I didn’t have flour for the whole of lockdown….
And now... the showstopper.
In last year’s Bake Off there were suggestions that the Showstoppers were getting too ridiculous. In the first Showstopper of Bake Off 2020, they have been asked to make 3D cake busts.
Meanwhile, Twitter is still reacting to Sura’s win.
You won, Sura. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/8wiKgocePi
— Victoria Finan (@victoriafinan) September 22, 2020
Suromeo and... Daviet? Davesdemona? I tried. Please do better in the comments below...
This is like a Shakespearean tragedy, but with pineapple rings.
Sura coming in first, bless her. She’ll feel so conflicted. Perhaps she can give half her points to Dave. Meanwhile, Peter obliviously continues to just be happy he’s there.
This is not Bake Off related, but this accidental ruining of someone else’s creation makes me fondly look back at the Linda Barker teapot disaster from Changing Rooms
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Dave’s bakes are on the floor. Sura is beside herself. No update on the fly - I hope it was squished pronto. Think that covers it.
It is now the technical judging
I have not paid any attention to anything happening on screen since flygate.
Sensible hat on - of course it wasn’t sabotage. If anything it was the fly’s fault.
If you haven’t watched Bake Off before before, yes this is a big deal.
SMACKED IT OUT OF HIS HAND!?!? #GBBO pic.twitter.com/9ZuUI3DcJI
— nikerlina (@nikerlina) September 22, 2020
OH MY GOD. In case you missed it, Sura nudged Dave whilst attempting to swat a fly out of the way, causing him to drop nearly all of his bakes on to the floor, mere seconds before Prue and Paul came back to judge. On Bake Off scandal rating, 10 being Baked Alaska ‘bin-gate’ and 5 being Deborah accidentally using Howard’s Custard when both bowls were in the same fridge (never forget), I am rating this a solid 6.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
All of the bakers are carefully taking off the tins. Bar Rowan, who is slamming it on the desk shouting “DONE!”.
Peter playing this technical by ear. By EAR! Haha. Well done me. Here all night.
It is also the first appearance of the Bake-Off Flap! I can confidently confirm that wafting your bake with your nearest utensil doesn’t particularly cool it down, but it does give you something to do.
Back in the tent, Sura is not filling me with confidence...
I know someone failed at baking some of these, with all of the instructions, no deadline and the entire internet at their disposal. Oh and a bottle of wine too...
It’s the worst just KNOWING that Paul and Prue are in the ‘perfect perfect’ tent pointing out all the mistakes that you’re about to make. And to be clear, these instructions are BEYOND minimal, with only some quantities. It’s easy to forget when watching, but I bet they literally just say ‘Make the sponge’.
It's time for the technical challenge.
So we’ve seen all the bakers now - who of the 2020 class is your favourite? And what do you think of Matt so far? Let us know in the comments.
The bakers have to make six pineapple upside down cakes, topped with a pineapple ring.
Poor Rowan. It looks like Lottie, Peter and Sura have done rather well, but Loreia, Linda and Rowan’s “deconstructed temple” all got a battering (sorry) by Prue and Paul.
Thank goodness I wrote everyone’s names down. It’s always so hard the first week.
Turns out microwaving cakes makes them heavy. Who knew? (We all knew).
‘A little thick, but I do love marzipan’ – Prue writing my Tinder bio for me.
I don’t know why but my heart skipped a beat during LINDA’S BATTENBERG AMBULANCE.
Judging the Battenberg
We’re flying through these aren’t we? Two hours’ work condensed into two seconds each, the battenbergs are passing in a blur of squares. Like tasty Tetris.
He was Iain. Never forget.
I still remember when Newsnight interviewed Iain the very next night, by Kirsty Wark, who wore an apron specifically for the occasion.
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Laura is thrilled that she doesn’t have to wash up (the biggest Bake Off bonus) - as a poor runner no doubt shuffles over to scrape the burned battenburg from the bottom of Sura’s oven. Upstairs, downstairs.
In short, the first challenge of Bake Off can be summed up as this...
Me about to judge everyone's baking ability, knowing full well I can only just about throw an Aunt Bessie cake mix together #GBBO pic.twitter.com/NDd4u6wfKw
— Latoyah | Sugar Pink Food (@SugarPinkFood) September 22, 2020
This reminds me of that chaotic episode of Come Dine With Me when the contestant finished off cooking her ‘rare’ steak in the microwave.
an underrated Come Dine With Me contestant. Extremely chaotic energy, very 2020. pic.twitter.com/3WDYLDvgdR
— Calum. (@CalumS1991) August 25, 2020
As Rowan approaches the sexy new microwave with a deep sadness in his eyes, I fear we’re about to find out.
Does putting an underbaked battenburg cake in a microwave make a difference?
Fun Fact: I only learned how to make marzipan in week six of my year. Like Lottie, I soon discovered it was a skill I didn’t actually need.
We continue to whirl through contestants - Mak (NOT Mark) is a lover of bees (insects, not the alphabet) and Hermine is using marmalade in her marzipan even though nobody asked her to.
Then there’s this...
Greatest Bake Off contestant introduction ever #GBBO pic.twitter.com/Z9nVo1EQje
— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) September 22, 2020
Rowan is one of my favourites. Multiple reasons. One: The fact that his introductory video solely consists of him playing a flute in a forest, alone. Two: he is not only wearing a tie and shirt, but also a waistcoat (checkmate 2019 baker Henry). Three: the dramatic way he said “THE FORCES OF DARKNESS” whilst describing his Mozart inspired Battenburg. I love him. He looks like he’s fallen out of The Archers.
Irish Mark there, celebrating his wedding anniversary by abandoning his wife for six weeks, we love to see it.
Sura walks her cat like it’s a dog. Just thought we should mention that.
brb just taking the cat out for a walk #gbbo pic.twitter.com/JEl5WRaj1A
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 22, 2020
There’s also Peter, who says that he picked up a tip from watching John Whaite in the third series of Bake Off (when he was 10! Peter that is, not John) and can tell when his bake is ready by putting his ears close to it. Under no circumstances will I allow the erasure in history of the greatest ‘cake whisperer’ of Bake Off: Val, who also once declared that she bakes “a bakewell tart every week.”
They appear to have sexy new microwaves this year and I am extremely jealous. In other news, the surplus of Marks this year has led to one being named after his dog, Hamish. Bit weird but ok.
In a Bake Off first Dave is adding vodka into his marzipan, the only ingredient in the history of Bake Off that has not yet been injected with alcohol.
Lottie is like a cool Head Girl and I want to be in her clique. Oh, she’s already binning her batter. Perhaps I’ll join someone else’s clique.
One of my favourites so far is Lottie, who “likes to unwind from her job as a pantomime producer by listening to Viking metal whilst baking.” What a relaxing hobby.
We’re also meeting the bakers VERY QUICKLY. First up is Loreia, whose flavour choices have Prue’s head in her hands. Gulp.
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That’s triggering, Scott. Let’s all just take a second to remember how little time two hours is to make battenberg cakes. They have to bake and cool two separate cakes and assemble them with a sticky filling and marzipan coating that was ALSO made in that time. Yikes.
The Battenberg Signature
The nerves are always there during the very first Bake Off Signature challenge. It is guaranteed that someone will either forget to turn the oven on or will inadvertently do something that requires the presence of a medic.
This theme tune makes my stomach turn even now. All 12 bakers will be vibrating as we speak.
What an opener, honestly.
Just when you thought 2020 couldn’t be any stranger… #GBBO pic.twitter.com/eIQqXRwjXT
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
And finally... Bake Off starts
Oh my. Matt Lucas did a spoof of the Boris statement that took place immediately before.
OH MY GOD MATT LUCAS IS DOING A SPOOF OF THE BORIS STATEMENT THAT JUST HAPPENED #GBBO pic.twitter.com/RgyZsUr7Zl
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 22, 2020
I don’t think Michael is either.
But only for the most talented, exceptional, handsome and humble bakers, right readers?
FIRST HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE OF THE SERIES. WE REPEAT, FIRST HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE OF THE SERIES!!#GBBO@PaulHollywood pic.twitter.com/nvhHQtfaFM
— Channel 4 (@Channel4) September 10, 2019
In case you are wondering, Hollywood Handshakes are still possible despite the pandemic, even though they’ve considerably dropped in value in recent series.
Live look at the value of a Paul Hollywood handshake #GBBO pic.twitter.com/BVRqSRYwhG
— Luke Smith (@LukeSmithF1) September 25, 2018
I’m not going to lie, this is the weirdest start to a liveblog ever.
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Boris gives his statement (delaying Bake Off)
Channel 4 is clearly reading the room.
Channel 4 not messing about pic.twitter.com/4Uqk8vYVHE
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 22, 2020
And in case you are wondering, Bake Off has been delayed because of the PM’s update on coronavirus. Channel 4 said earlier today that the first episode will air at 8:15pm. I know. Will 2020 ever catch a break?
The Bake Off Bubble sounds like an excellent spin-off series. I’d definitely watch the Real Housewives of the Bake Off Bubble.
Hello and welcome ...
... to The Guardian’s liveblog for The Great British Bake Off 2020 the start of which is slightly delayed by the intervention of our dear leader. You may notice that this is not Rhik Samadder – who is sadly indisposed this year. So instead you’ll have to put up with me, Scott Bryan. You may remember me from a technical challenge I tried that was so bad everyone thought the topping was kale when it was in fact, icing. We’ve all done it, right?
Here is my finished tennis cake bake. My one is on the LEFT , in case you were wondering. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/C0nXkCPO2P
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 2, 2015
But it takes more than one man to replace the inimitable Rhik. Joining me will be Michael Chakraverty, who was a contestant on the 2019 series of Bake Off. In his own words, he was “a bit of a mess but had a lovely time”. We’re both looking forward to getting to know you all better as the series progresses, and we become increasingly invested in the programme while in the upcoming second lockdown.
We’re not the only new faces this year – Matt Lucas has arrived in the tent to replace Sandi Toksvig. A good move? Time will tell. But before we kick off with our commentary (and relatable memes), you’re probably wondering how Bake Off was able to film this year in light of well... everything. The answer was that they took all 130 members of the cast and crew and filmed it all in a giant bubble in Essex. That is also a sentence that wouldn’t have made sense six months ago.
Here’s a good explainer of how they did it.
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‘Irish Mark’ reminds me of the victim of Alaskagate. Such are the travails of Bake Off I cant remember his name, but can remember his baking disasters!