Michael rode the loaf for sure
A surprising but delightful win for Michael! And a tough break, comme une breadstick, for Amelia. Bread week never disappoints.
Thanks to all of you for the amazing lookalikes and puns and arcane regional helmet trivia. Standard. I’m definitely tuning in next week to see what the drama is between Steph and Henry, and also because of certain contractual obligations. Please join me then!
In the meantime come say hello on Twitter or Insta. Or if you want me to name my firstborn after you, buy my book!*
Ciao x
* remains childless, dies alone, has the last laugh
WHAT is that drama between Steph and Henry?? They may as well have cued the Eastenders drums after that cliffhanger.
Star Baker is Michael
Whhaaaa! Delighted. Our cherub is all growed up.
Amelia goes home of course. She was good in previous weeks, so definitely leaves with no shame.
Michael Owen has only seen eight films and one of them is Seabiscuit
Who’s won this do we think? I am too out of my mind to have any idea. I assume Rosie?
@lobster1 David as Michael Owen is a good shout. Especially because Michael Owen is a FASCINATING cultural figure.
Michael’s done well enough. Like a seasoned theatre-goer hitting the cloakroom before the encore, Amelia makes a bid to go home early. But will anyone be joining her?
Self assessment is a tax joke. Do you understand the riches I am giving you? Shoutout to HMRC
A-Dora-ble Steph’s loaf structure is beautiful, say the judges. Michell’s garden of Welsh nationalism tastes delicious, though she suffers from a stodgy hedgepig. We’ve all been there.
Fougasse just sounds impolite doesn’t it.
Judging time
The judges love Rosie’s varied bread art, and she gets some nigh perfect scoring of her own.
To David’s credit he actually did not do very well. He must be freelance: because his self-assessment was spot on.
Lots of don’t. Not sure about any of the do’s.” Bread Dread Michael is SUCH a phrase-maker.
We love him and Henry best, yes?
Phil IS Johnny Vegas. Very good.
@orbitalgirl matcha is definitely on the bingo. Matcha three from three to win a year’s supply of bitter grass powder!
Perfect David thinks he’s in trouble. Are we buying that? I’m not sure I am.
Sandi’s heartbreak jumper! Need. Especially now I know Helena has a husband.
Amelia loses then locates her bread-scoring prison shiv. Big Sandi cedes the wing to her.
Has anyone ever made that bread that proves using yeast from the air? I harbour ambitions.
Amelia is making some sort of Victorian World Fair of flying bread saucers? It’s...a lot.
Wait, Phil is making a winner’s wreath? That is hubris in a herby pretzel.
Any Geordies in the house? What do we make of Noel’s attempt at the accent?
Knock it back, but not vigorously. Treat it like a lady.” QUITE a lot to unpack there, from Phil.
Did you know that on actual Halloween, goths dress as normos? Beige chinos and Boden. I find it very moving.
That’s right, cricket joke! A rich seam for me.
Great swing from Noel, whacking a dough cricket ball to the boundary . Ironic that Fielding should be best at the crease.
‘Scoring bread’ is more or less the pitch for the whole show isn’t it.
This is huge
Why can I not stop imagining Alice sending me very organised WhatsApps about a hen weekend. #GBBO
— Lauren Bravo (@laurenbravo) September 10, 2019
Showstopper: themed loaves.
A doughy diorama to take the crown!
Paul and Prue discuss sending two bakers home. Scary, spicy times for Amelia.
Rosie as ‘glum golden retriever’ also made me very un-glum
@brolene @caroline700 Amelia as Scary Spice and Rosie as Bob from Blackadder are EXCELLENT. Take a cinnamon bun to the top of the class
That’s an excellent vocal warm up, if nothing else. A lost Gilbert & Sullivan lyric.
A little LEGO stationmaster, looking after a rural railway stop
judging time!
Amelia and Phil bring up the rear with their uneven buns. Steph and David’s tight baps impress, but turns out Henry IS a bap sort of character. Good job, little lego man!
What’s a Scooby Doo burger? Is it drug slang?
Henry is essentially a LEGO approximation of a man.
Oh here’s an unspecific one- Noel looks like a present day Muhammed Ali, I think?
David’s pert buns do look glorious.
Nothing wrong with small baps. Though I imagine Paul likes them oversized.
When you play a game of racially specific lookalikes, you win or you die
HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE but Priya is M.I.A?
Helena? I will not accept Penelope Cruz, we can do better. I think Helena Bonham Carter
I can’t imagine you’re a bap sort of character,” Noel psychoanalyses Henry, before recognising it’s got weird.
Technical Challenge: Veggie burgers in a floury bap
To file with: never worth making your own. See also hummous
Michelle is Sian Clifford the Fleabag sister, right?
Where’s Wally? Seventh Heaven
Steph is dry, Rosie soft. Michelle self-identifies as RUSTIC! It counts. Drink a drink. Michael’s red bread is a beauty, and earns a proper Hollywood Handshake. Double drink!
Oh my, I want Helena’s cinnammon roll and the fact this isn’t even a euphemism speaks volumes
Judging time
How can anything taste too much of pesto? I would IV pure pesto.
Oh, hold that thought
Michael: Where’s Wally
My brain no work so good tonight. Shall we do lookalikes for the bakers please? I’ll start.
@whatthedeauce Rosie’s voice is really something isn’t it. I find it earwormy. I don’t even know if I like it, but could listen to it all day.
Too pale!” “Very dark but good!” Bakers getting their bread out of the oven like Floridian pensioners comparing tans.
Amelia hates cheese?? Well it was nice knowing her.
“I’m sure if you like cheese it’s wonderful?” Backpedalling so hard she just passed Victoria Pendleton.
Noel’s bread legs! Marvellous. And you thought the Mighty Boosh would never make a comeback.
Henry has made backgammon breasts or something
OOOH I could murder a cinnamon roll. Love them. Heavy on the cinnamon.
*Plays Nina Simone’s Sinner Man as a weak compromise*
Alice is making...baklava? Je ne comprends pas. She may as well squeeze out a tiramisu.
Is Amelia’s harissa chorizo scenario going to be too heavy to rise?
Don’t tell me my putative bride Helena does crossfit
Why are they all doing fitness things? I feel sick
Puns: The entire bingo should have been puns!
Noel smuggling a juggling into bread week was a welcome treat.
Rosie adjusting a hospital drip into her dough was profoundly Hannibal. Why is no one talking about it
Michael is a FITNESS INSTRUCTOR?
That doesn’t add up at all.
I’m not totally convinced Jamie made it home last week. I bet if you zoom out the window he’s in that field, grazing among the sheep.
Signature challenge: Yeasted tear ‘n’ share.
AKA a night you’d rather forget
I wondered if Henry would be wearing a full morning suit this week.
WAIT. Does Alice think Munch’s The Scream is a painting of the mask from the Scary Movie movies?
You can learn a lot in four days.” Henry already more qualified than our political leaders. That’s right, satire
Michael has Bread Dread! He’s our champion, isn’t he?
Quite a prison vibe with that montage of homemade shivs
The Ch4 presenter is getting on the pun game! AND the Amazon Alexa ad. Tonight’s wordplay is gonna be off the (kitchen) scale.
@Darbles can you scatter the floor with polenta to soak up the oil?
This is not legal advice
@Greatismynewt as I expected, things are getting yeasty below the line already. Good work
How does this work again? Oh yes, a drinky bingo!
- Prue more or less accusing someone of being born in a barn
- Paul gauging levels of crust-browning against his own skin
- David pouting like a Ariana Grande
- Sandi ‘Tom Cruise’ Toksvig talking about aliens
- Paul breaking someone’s boules
My body is trying to simultaneously co-exist at noon and 8pm, like a low-rent episode of Doctor Who.
Anyway, how are we all? What are we eating and drinking?
Also: I have just got off a plane from America. The jet lag being so profound that I believe myself to be legally mad at this present time. Or would if I knew what the time was.
@kiikiireads terrible puns are my bread and butter
Welcome to the GBBO live blog. It’s bread week, you crumby rat finks!*
This is always a big week in the tent. Nowhere to hide in bread, is there? Unless you’re a mouse. With bread, one can’t just whack a load of fondant icing over the mistakes. Which bakers will prove their worth, and who’ll be eating sourdough grapes?
I’ll be writing up tonight’s best bits live. Please get involved below the line with prurient gossip and grandma’s recipes and all caps slanders. Actually, not the last one. Sorry for calling you all rat finks. I love you.
The show starts at 8pm, so I’ll see you back here then!
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