Black tie for the winner guy
A very fun week in the tent tonight: excellent chemistry and a brillo (pad?) showstopper. All smiles until everyone’s non-biological grandson Michael had to pack his bags. Finally off to uni. Congratulations to Henry though, who’s relaxing more every week, even as his tie gets tighter.
Thanks for your oodles of comments, noodling discursions on cheese and excellent lookalikes. See you next week. Those inclined, do say hello on twitter or instagram. Or if you want to split my heart apart like weak-sealed ravioli, buy my book!
Later potaters
x
star baker is Henry!
Was a done deal the moment he Platini’d that doughball.
But Michael goes home. NOOOOOOOO!
Gotta be Henny Penny
@darbles Your description of Michael hits the nail on the head so hard the nail is currently concussed in A&E
Let’s try and answer a lower stakes question. Michael or David’s lips? (If you feel qualified to answer, you are.)
@jdsworld I think you’re right. But this is actually tense and unpredictable.
Not all thoughts need to be externalised, Rhik
GO ON Alice. That looks amazing! Has she just won showstopper? But still in danger of going home? No. But then who is?
I would struggle to crack an egg under this pressure. Yet David has produced an edible sculpture that looks like the centrepiece of an Olympic bid. HOW.
Michael is in trouble. Alice too, probs. Henry’s ‘stack of egg sandwiches’ impresses though. Could Lawless Henry take this, with his gang of hoods?
Judging time!
Steph needs grouting in her otherwise excellent cake. Rosie has great ambition, but hasn’t mastered the technicalities. HMMM.
Predictions please, people
I’ve got a cake, I’ve got a cake.” Michael arguably setting his bar a little lower than the rest.
Mind you, Rosie has some sort of assassin-grade cheese wire. Iron Fringe removes her cape and walks to face her. She will show her flying fist of Judah. Kake Fu will decide this.
David with his bread slicer! He is so the Batman of this task. “Does it come in every colour other than black?”
Iron Fringe looks down from the throne with steel eyes, giving nothing away.
ROSIE HAS BURNT HER LAYERS. (Sorry Lairs. Mary B, we need you!)
The contestants are not enjoying the quirky presenter chats are they? It’s like they’re trying to get out of the Crystal Maze and everything’s on fire. In no mood for juggling, or bowl balancing malarkey.
The thing is I’d eat this too. There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t
Cassatelle pasty and Marsala sorted #GBBO pic.twitter.com/xoLTiKapQS
— Karen Kernow (@Karen_Kernow) October 8, 2019
Michael’s shirt is basically a Sarawak. Advantage Michael?
What do we think Noel was picturing when he said ‘Essex girl’?
DAVID JUST MADE A PRUE LEITH NECKLACE JOKE. He has to drink for ever, because he has gamed and won the bingo.
Rosie is gunning for Iron Fringe Gelfling, isn’t she.
She’s weaponising her eggy rubber, because when you come for the champ you better not miss.
@jellygenie YES, Steph looks EXACTLY like a gelfling. That dossier is bulging like Alice’s cassatelle.
If someone told me to make one of these, I would sit down on the floor and cry. Or go really distant, full Bartleby. “I would prefer not to.”
Am now obsessed with the idea of grilled cake. Why has no one sent me a grilled cake? Unhappy birthday to me.
Lol at David knowing the history of this Southeast Asian cake, right down to its trade routes.
Henry: “I’ve heard of Malaysia.”
I’ve just googled these and they look GORGEOUS.
Showstopper: Kek lapis Sarawak?
Ketchup Saruman? Catch Susan Sarandon? Give me a break, guys
Sandi’s hair looks like cream cheese. I sort of...want to taste it.
ER, you say? I could watch that.
@orbitalgirl Michael as young Rik Mayall is definitely something. It’s not nothing.
If only he would put his head through the window and grin maniacally. But it’s quite hard in a tent.
Update the Steph dossier
Knew I recognised #GBBO Steph from somewhere... no wonder she's doing so well with Noel presenting!#GBBO2019#Nabootheenigma pic.twitter.com/SkEn1luGuJ
— Marc (@QuizyChipButty) October 8, 2019
I repel first.” David is perpetually the bridesmaid in these tasks, isn’t he? Yet he’s hardly put a foot wrong all series. He’s there, in the slipstream at the top. Could easily stride out in front come the final furlong.
Also I’m finding Rosie quite charming this episode. Perpetually good humoured.
Judging time!
Alice’s sea-creature pastries won’t net her any prizes, while Steph’s thick walls would make her a good neighbour. David’s air holes disappoint, but he nails it nonetheless. Poor, overworked Alice comes last, but has Michael to keep her company. Rosie wins!
Is cheese and chocolate good?
Oh yes sorry, baking.
Er, they’re deep frying Cornish pasties?
I don’t like when you do posh filled pasta and one of them splits in the pot and you end up poaching the others in a sink water-looking broth, then have to eat one sad, empty pasta-sack. Makes me wish I was a baby again. No problems back then.
Jaysus, the chemistry between Sandi and Henry as he directs her to crank his pastry-roller. Would not have seen that coming, for many reasons.
It’s weird. I also...want to see more?
Steph looks actually annoyed at Noel’s whimsy. This is the downside of telling the bakers to make a helium tiramisu in two minutes that relates to their childhood in some way. They’re all really stressed.
That cheese teste Michael is milking is far too wet. Nope.
Sort of like Nutella tortelloni, from what I can tell? Anyone?
Technical challenge: Sicilian Cassatelle
Once popular, but outmoded by CD-lians and Minidisc-atelle
Henry gets a Hollywood handshake too! They’re like buses this week. Sure Paul’s after being the queen at a variety performance isn’t he?
Shut up!” Henry on getting a Hollywood handshake. Normal reaction.
Noel’s peacock feather headdress isn’t vegan is it?
(I think there is a peacock feather alternative made from whipping chickpea water set with agar, but only bushbabies have the delicate hands to do it. Ironic.)
I would eat the namalaka out of Rosie’s flamingo doughnuts.
Judging time!
Michael’s figgy-too-much does surprisingly well. Go on lad. Steph gets a Hollywood handshake though!
In the meantime, let’s do a sweepstake on how much Prue’s lemon necklace weighs. I say nine kilograms.
@demelzaza yes, David’s Pride top is gorge.
@emilyscatnaps yes, “Rosie’s namalaka” is absolutely top drawer. Unlike my plate cupboard.
That’s a lovely McCain advert, but I assure you Love does care about you burning the burger buns. Why are you even toasting them?
moves like Henry
When you’re stuck in a rut at work and remember it’s #GBBO time later. pic.twitter.com/LHmRWvjAmt
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 8, 2019
Still laughing at Henry describing hacky sack with hot cross doughballs as the best thing he’s ever done. Uncool hand Luke. The boy is off the rails and I am here for it.
Can you all help me? The little hollow section under my oven. Is that a plate warming compartment, baking tray storage, or a proving drawer?
Look at him sitting next to a fridge looking like Tom Hardy in Bronson, for no reason.
Paul is being extra Stasi this week.
Rosie is so much a character from The Good Life I’m genuinely confused she isn’t peering aghast over a fence at a suggestive squash.
Henry has won this already by introducing us to the word kardemumabullar tbh.
Oh I love a springy dough! David’s is making me feel feelings. I want that clammy bounce under my hands.
Oh yes do a hot cross bun Steph there is little I love more. Michael’s figgy brandy marzipan Easter situation is...a lot.
I wish Phil was here to make an Eid bun, hoisted by Noddy
Signature challenge: Festival buns
Covered in glitter, yeasty from the camping.
I forget Alice is a teacher. That would explain why she looks mad all the time. Imagine trying to teach a gaggle of hormone-explosions about oxbow lakes when all they want to do is inject YouTube into their veins and make mistakes they will think about for 30 years.
“Festive buns from around the world”– I love the Notting Hill carnival!
Is the level of coarseness I expect us to rise above tonight
Ooh here we actually go!
You know what: parliamentary democracy, but no one can propose a bill until they’ve perfected a Genoese sponge would not be worse than the current set up.
Here we go, everyone!
Technical challenge: SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE
Wait, what’s happening
I’m eating Kew Garden chocolate with honey in it from bees that went to private school. Disappointingly great
Anyway welcome all!
Bingo? Bingo. Drink one of Heidi’s 50 ciders when you see anything along the lines of:
- Henry wearing leathers and biking boots, with a tie underneath.
- David staring into a mirror glaze a touch too long.
- Sandi’s eyes betraying her feelings during a weakly scripted link.
- Steph caught with a gingerbread cheat sheet under her fringe.
- Prue reacting to a blueberry cream like it’s a bowl of ebola.
@Darbles I would bet both kidneys Helena is baking Day of the Dead biscuits somewhere. Possibly the actual underworld.
ID87652...something, I applaud and admire the alacrity of your baseless speculations
@Heidi writing “I have one cider” ten times is not a breathalyser loophole. You have ten Kestrel, own it
Good evening my flour folk,
Welcome to the only Great British Bake Off live blog to have its license revoked for speeding, in the race to be the best.
Festival Week in the tent. But who’ll be letting off fireworks? And who’ll be burned at the stake for plotting against parliament? For legal reasons, insert your own topical joke here! I’ll be writing up the highlights and lowlights live. As ever, the best action is in the comments, so do get involved with your own thoughts, jokes and scurrilous gossip.
The show starts at 8pm, so I’ll see you back here then …
Updated
