So that’s IT for the semi-final – only three bakers remain to fight it out for the coveted GBBO cake stand next week – Ruby, Kim-Joy and Rahul. Who’s your favourite to win? I’ll be here to follow every minute of the big event - thank you for joining in this evening, and I’ll see you next week (or on Saturday for Strictly if that’s your bag). Have a great week!
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Star Baker this week...RUBY!
Going home this week...BRIONY! Ah, that’s a real shame. She had a shocker of a semi-final but I’d have loved to see her in the final.
Rahul can’t believe he’s made the final. Apparently he never made a cake until he was 29. I’m not sure the stress of competitive baking is for him, to be honest. Perhaps he should try watercolours, or rambling?
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So I’m guessing Ruby for Star Baker and Briony to go?
Don’t know about you, but I really miss the days when GBBO bakers were given the time and opportunity to do one thing really well, rather than loads of things in not enough time, guaranteeing unfinished bakes and general shambles. Not my idea of fun, sorry.
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Rahul gets a kicking for not glazing his tarts, and the base is too thick. The eclairs are a mess and Paul declares the flavour ‘boring’. Finally, Rahul’s millefeuille looks hideous but tastes amazing. See also: Sheffield.
Briony looks crestfallen. She knows she’s going home today. I’m gutted for her.
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Briony’s tarts are colossal but her mousse has run, her choux isn’t filled (DRINK) and her millefeuilles are raw (DRINK). Everything tastes salty. Not a great day for Briony.
Ruby’s pastries are beautiful but also too big, and there’s also too much caramel. Flavours are great across the board, apart from the lemon curd is too strong and the fruit needed glazing.
Can we stop saying that these pastries are too big? NOT A THING.
Time for Showstopper judging! Kim-Joy’s nuns and tarts need to be smaller and more delicate. Her millefeuilles are declared dry, dull and underbaked (DRINK). Paul doesn’t like the look of her tarts, and the choux nuns are overbaked, and also underbaked (DRINK).
Briony is swearing like a sailor, the beep button is on overtime. Her puff pastry isn’t cooked, so she’s focussing on her tarts instead. Everyone is stressing out, Rahul hasn’t had time to fill his eclairs or glaze his tarts. Kim-Joy has no time for feathering.
Only Ruby looks like she’s got this under control right now. She’s sprinkling on tiny flowers like she has all the time in the world.
OK that was quite stressful. Can we give them more time, or less baking to do? I want to see perfect, creative things, not stuff that’s been thrown together in a panic.
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Rahul is running out of time, so he’s slicing strawberries incredibly slowly and has gone full Eeyore. Briony’s puff pastry is massive, it’s going to be the biggest millefeuille of all time. Which is definitely not a bad thing.
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Time to pipe things! Kim-Joy is making choux nuns, which I’m very happy about. The Religieuse from series 5 is one of my favourite GBBO bakes ever.
Everyone who has made rough puff is getting it in the oven, but Briony is still puffing.
Rahul is not a multi-tasker, we learn. He also can’t make choux pastry and appears to be having palpitations.
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Rahul is using the same creme pat for all his pastries, but Briony is going all out, and I really hope she pulls this off. I have the fear, however.
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First up - make some puff pastry for the millefeuille. Everyone is making rough puff apart from Briony, who is going full puff. Her three pastries are all super-colourful and look glorious (on paper).
Rahul has never been to France, so he’s got his inspiration from bakery windows in Sheffield. Can somebody show Rahul the internet?
“How are you?” Noel asks Rahul
“I’m alive.”
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Right, let’s hope the Showstopper brings some light relief, god knows this series needs it.
This week’s challenge - a Parisian patisserie window filled with 36 pastries - using choux, pate sucree and millefeuille pastry. They have five hours, and presentation is everything.
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“As soon as something good happens, something bad happens behind it”, says Rahul. He’s the perfect antidote to those motivational quotes your mum puts on Facebook.
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Fourth place Rahul, 3rd for Briony, 2nd for Kim-Joy and first place for RUBY.
Judging time! Briony’s has a shine, and good layers. The chocolate coating is all rubbery “like a pair of incontinence pants”, says Paul. DELICIOUS.
Ruby’s torta looks great and has lovely mousse and bavarois. Kim-Joy’s chocolate has marbled and the mousse is too thin.
Rahul’s torta looks like a halloween cake. It also has rubbery pants chocolate. Grim.
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Half an hour to go - the final stage is a mirror glaze and some chocolate curls. The negativity in this tent is sucking all the joy out of my world. I’m a husk of a woman.
Meanwhile Kim-Joy is still on the chocolate mousse. She will not be beaten.
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Kim-Joy has never made a chocolate mousse, and is now crying because she’s going to come last and is ready to go home.
Raid the cupboards for Angel Delight?
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Ruby’s got a right attitude on today, it’s starting to grate my cheese. Lots to do in this challenge - genoise, bavarois, praline, lots of slicing and piping. Bung everything in the freezer and hope it sets.
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For this week’s Technical Challenge, our bakers have to make a Torta Setteveli, which is a seven-layered cake. It looks incredible, and I want one - 2 layers of genoise, 2 layers of bavarois, a chocolate crunch layer, a chocolate mousse layer, and a chocolate mirror coating. YUM.
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“Why are people laughing about hump?” asks Rahul. Oh come on.
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Prue likes Briony’s zany icing, but the hump needs to be bigger. Good sponge, but not a lot of flavour on the mojito ones. The espresso martini ones are a winner, however.
Kim-Joy’s madeleines are lovely and uniform (anti-drink), and have a nice hump. The orange ones are delicious.
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Rahul’s madelines look beautiful, and the orange ones have a perfect hump. The flavours are delicious, but he still can’t manage a smile.
Ruby’s madeleines look a bit of a mess and don’t have a hump. They’re a bit heavy too, but the flavours are amazing.
There’s a lot of negativity in the tent this year. What happened to happy people having fun with cake? I call this The Rahul Effect.
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Rahul isn’t thinking about being in the semi-final, because then he will panic and everything will go wrong.
Neither Ruby nor Rahul’s madeleines have humped. Rahul is also having issues piping his orange curd. Only Kim-Joy appears to be able to do exquisite decorating, in the form of tiny bunny faces.
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Who knew madeleines were so complicated? Rahul is already worried about his raspberries and regretting everything he’s ever done in life.
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Kim-Joy’s madeleines are flavoured with ginger and lemon, and orange madeleines in the shape of bunny rabbits. Prue is already enchanted by Kim-Joy’s creativity, whilst Paul looks like she’s crapped glitter into his manbag.
Paul only wants a bump, not a huge hump. Everyone please stop saying hump.
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Briony is slinging a mint teabag into her madeleines, hopefully she’ll remember to take it out. Her flavours are mojito and espresso martini, which is why I love Briony. Hic.
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Ruby’s madeleines are going to be raspberry and lemon and orange and cinnamon. Rahul is doing the same, but he’s injecting orange curd into the hump.
Paul tries a hump joke on Rahul, but it falls a bit flat. Welcome to spontaneous comedy, Paul.
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Prue is very clear what she wants from our bakers’ madeleines. She wants clearly defined lines on one side, and a hump on the other. Normally you’d chill overnight for a proper hump, but they don’t have time for that. Quickie humps for the win.
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All our remaining bakers are nervous and stressed out. Good start. First up: Signature Challenge! Our bakers have to make 24 madeleines, 12 each of two different flavours. I do love a madeleine, they’re like super-posh Jaffa Cakes.
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This week: PATISSERIE. Thank goodness for custard and cream in crisp pastry layers. In the immortal words of Janelle Monae, That’s Just The Way You Make Millefeuille.
Last week on Bake Off: Danish Week. Ruby got Star Baker for being the only one who didn’t have a nervous breakdown. Rahul dodged a bullet by at least attempting to make Danish things, unlike Manon who decided to interpret the Danish brief as more…French.
Paul got huffy with everyone and we all ended the evening feeling like we’d just sat through an episode of some Scandi Noir drama where bakers sob uncontrollably over the beheaded corpse of a pastry opera singer.
This week’s Bake Off Bingo – a swig of boozy custard for any occurrence of the following:
- Thing being non-uniform
- Things being underbaked
- Things being overbaked
- Not enough filling
- Pineapple
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Welcome!
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Great British Bake Off liveblog! We’ve made it to the SEMI-FINAL, with only four bakers left fighting for three coveted spaces in next week’s Grand Final. It’s also Patisserie Week (RIP Manon), which feels like much-needed creamy indulgence after a couple of weeks of vegan pastry and Danish open sandwiches.
Kick off is at 8pm, when I’ll be keeping my beady eye on every curdled crème pat and showstopping choux. Please feel free to dust a little icing sugar down below – we’re nearly at the end of the series, so now’s the time to come out of the shadows if you’re a long time lurker. Grab a pinny and something to beat your eggs with, and I’ll see you in a bit!
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