Thank you all for joining in for another week – you can find me on Twitter/Insta @heidistephens if you’re passing for baking chat, or you can swing by on Saturday for the FIRST STRICTLY COME DANCING LIVEBLOG of the new season. Whoop whoop! See you there, Hx
So that’s it for another week! Next week it’s SPICE WEEK, where all bakes must be impregnated with a synthetic cannabis popular in prisons. Or more feasibly, it’s a week of baking with aromatic flavourings derived from the non-leafy parts of plants.
(I know this because I looked it up - herbs come from the leaves, spices from the other bits – roots, bark, seeds etc. Every day’s a school day on the GBBO liveblog.)
OK Dan’s daughter Constance is adorable.
So who will it be? Star Baker this week is....DAN!
Going home this week is...NOBODY! Because Terry isn’t there, they’ve decided it wouldn’t be fair. But next week it’s likely that two people will go.
Briony dodged a bullet there, and she knows it.
Prue never wants to eat chocolate again. Kim-Joy has saved herself, and Dan, Jon and Rahul are all in line for Star Baker.
I’m predicting Dan for Star Baker, and Briony to go. Any advances?
Karen’s chocolate ball also looks lovely, but the dessert inside doesn’t quite nail the flavours.
Finally, Kim-Joy’s Space Turtle Pudding is one of my favourite Bake Off creations ever. I love her choux turtles, they all have tiny faces. It’s a delightful homage to the late Terry Pratchett, what’s not to love?
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Briony’s pudding looks like deflated armband, but it tastes lovely.
Dan’s giant peach looks like the moon, and it takes a week to melt. The pudding is lovely, surely Dan is in line for SB after that?
Manon’s ball is beautiful and elegant, and melts like a dream. The dessert inside is stunning, but she doesn’t get a handshake. I blame Brexit.
Jon’s up first. His ballet ball has a tutu and ballet shoes, and Jon is wearing one too. The sauce reveals something that looks like an autopsy, but apparently it tastes nice.
“Do you understand the word sphere?”, Prue asks Ruby, with 18 tonnes of snark. It tastes horrible.
Rahul’s ball is very elegant, but the sauce doesn’t melt the chocolate properly. The opera cake inside is fabulous, however. Rahul is in bits, I’m really not sure he’s emotionally stable enough for the pressure of Bake Off (also: DRINK).
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So whose ball will reveal puddingy treats within, and who’s had a Bake Off meltdown?
OK this is all quite stressful. Chocolate bakes and the Summer of 2018 do not mix, ever.
Kim-Joy’s choux turtles are out of the oven. They look adorable.
Ruby’s and Briony’s chocolate balls have cracked, but most of the others seem OK. Briony’s having a cry. Lesson of the week: don’t use white chocolate in the heat.
Jon is making Ruby’s chocolate sauce for her, because he is lovely. Rahul’s chocolate ball looks like Lego hair.
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So making a chocolate ball is a highly technical business. White chocolate is even harder, apparently, but Briony, Manon and Ruby are still doing it.
Rahul and Karen aren’t using moulds to make their chocolate balls, they’re going with the balloon method. Rahul has multiple balloons, because they keep popping in his face.
His cake features the Hindu Elixir Of Life, aka coffee cake.
Kim-Joy is making CHOUX TURTLES! DRINK DRINK DRINK
Her turtles live in space and have cocktail umbrellas. I could not love her more.
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Dan’s ball will hide a peach and hazelnut layered mousse cake, whilst Jon is making a ballet cake. Can you eat cake if you do ballet?
Ruby is making a tropical tart in a chocolate ball that features about 15 ingredients, which is the kind of thing she eats with her girlfriends ALL THE TIME. Course you do, hun.
Briony is making a white chocolate ball with a blood orange sticky toffee pudding inside. I can feel my arteries clogging just thinking about it.
Top four this week – Rahul, Ruby, Dan and Jon. The other four are all in trouble, so there’s everything to play for.
This week Showstopper is a giant chocolate globe that melts away to reveal the fabulous dessert within. It sounds quite complicated, and it’s boiling in the tent again.
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OK so Long Du Chat is actually Langues De Chat. Sorry, I have no written information on the challenges and my GCSE French never made it to ‘tongue’.
Although I’m pretty sure Luc the French Exchange student covered this subject quite comprehensively in 1989, now I think about it. Not much talking though.
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Last place goes to Manon, apparently being French doesn’t help when it comes to wobbly puddings and cats’ tongues. Dan gets first place!
Kim-Joy’s blancmange has lost it’s definition, but has good flavour. Karen’s hasn’t set, and her biscuits are underbaked. Rahul’s has good wobble, but Briony’s isn’t set. Manon’s is a raspberry soup, but her biscuits are great. Jon’s is lovely, and he’s nailed the biscuits too. Ruby’s done well too, as has Dan. He has to be in line for Star Baker right now, surely?
Honestly, who would ever make this? What a faff for a fancy jelly and some biscuits.
15 minutes left, and time to get the blancmanges out of their moulds. Nobody wants to try getting it out of the tin. They’re all oozing and don’t appear to have set. Maximum seepage.
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Everybody’s pronunciation of ‘Long Du Chat’ is terrible, very sad that we’re not getting to see Manon’s eyerolling. It means ‘cat’s tongue’, which are usually rough and attached to a cat’s bum. Not tasty.
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First up, make blancmange. Put blancmange in freezer. Make biscuits. Already bored of Jon’s science facts.
It’s time for this week’s Technical Challenge, and it’s one of Prue’s recipes. Our bakers have to make a raspberry blancmange, which must have a wobble. It also needs to be served with 12 Long Du Chat biscuits, which are traditional french butter biscuits. This challenge has Manon’s name all over it.
Briony’s roulade has ‘seepage’ (boak), but Jon’s has fabulous flavour. Another handshake for Jon.
Remember when a Hollywood Handshake was a rare and beautiful thing? Now Paul dishes them out like condoms at a swingers’ party. Before long he’ll be giving bakers a handshake for remembering to turn the oven on.
Judging time! Ruby’s roulade has a good shape, but the swirl is a bit lacking. It tastes great though, Paul loves the Pina Colada flavour. Kim-Joy’s roulade has exquisite piping, but it doesn’t have a spiral and the meringue is too thick. Manon’s tastes great but Rahul’s has no swirl. Karen’s meringue was underdone and looks ‘sad and flat’.
Dan’s roulade has a fab spiral and great flavour. A big win for Dan, and a Hollywood Handshake (DRINK).
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Briony’s had a bit of leakage, but she’s piping over the damage. Sandy tells Manon to cover up her crack. Jon’s doing something sciency with jelly, called “reverse spherification”. Okaaay.
Time to roll your roulades, and hope it doesn’t crumble into an Eton mess (always Plan B). Rahul is rolling his on the long side, which is going to give a rubbish swirl. Paul will NOT be happy.
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Am intrigued by Kim-Joy’s eyeshadow. In my head she dusts her eyelids with the wings of a butterfly. I’ll be really gutted if it comes from Boots.
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Karen is making a festive roulade. It’s definitely not a Bakewell tart, not an almond or a cherry in sight. Disappointing.
Does anyone else start dropping off the moment Rahul starts talking? His voice is hypnotic, I’ve gone all snoozly.
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Rahul is doing too many things at the same time. He needs to stop for a glass of milk.
Dan has spent a lot of time in the Florida Keys, but doesn’t specify if that was part of the same Palm Springs sailing trip with his husband and a giant dildo (see Week 1).
Meringues make Kim-Joy think of clouds, stars and dreams. She’s been at the special brownies again.
Meanwhile Jon’s making a mango and passion fruit roulade, which is right up my alley.
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Manon is making an Amarene and Kirsch cherry roulade. It’s a flavour from her childhood. My childhood tasted of Findus crispy pancakes and gravy, but OK.
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Terry is poorly this week, but will be back next week. Get well soon Terry.
First up it’s a meringue-tastic Signature challenge – our bakers have to make a roulade which has a perfect swirl when cut, and a melt-in-the-mouth meringue.
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BAKE OFF FASHION WATCH:
- Noel dressed as my nan’s curtains from 1979
- Sandy in a snuggly peach sweatshirt – was she somehow immune to the Hottest Summer Ever? Or are those ice lolly motifs instantly cooling?
- Paul wearing a blue shirt that is high risk for sweaty armpits
- Prue dressed as a puffin that’s become tangled in yellow plastic marine garbage.
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Previously on Bake Off - bread. Rahul got his second Star Baker, but Anthony was toast. Boo, I loved him.
This week’s Bake Off bingo – a mouthful of spotted dick for any occurrence of the following:
- Karen doing a Bakewell tart
- Kim-Joy making tiny fondant animals
- Rahul having a crisis of confidence
- Anyone mentioning that Manon is French
- A Hollywood handshake
While we’re waiting for baking to start, Dr. Tamal has a new recipe in Feast for Pear Eclairs and and I want them all now.
Hello and welcome!
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Great British Bake Off liveblog! Many thanks to the fabulous Julia Raeside for doughing the business last week while I was loafing around in Portugal – I had a lovely break, but am now fully proved and kneaded for the rest of the series.
We are down to nine bakers now, having waved a sad goodbye to Imelda, Luke and Antony (sob). Am really impressed by the standard of baking so far – it feels like a strong year with lots of great artistry and flavours. My faves for the final are currently Manon, Dan and Briony, although Rahul and Ruby could easily be in the running if they can hold it together, and Kim-Joy is the (rainbow encrusted) dark horse of this year’s competition.
It is week four, so it must be desserts, or puddings if your family’s idea of a fancy finish to dinner was an inch of Arctic Roll in a cereal bowl. I’ll be up here keeping an eye on every melting meringue and creamy caramel, while you are actively encouraged to get involved in the comment box below. Bring your own custard, and I’ll see you at 8!
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