So that’s it for Danish Week - mange tak for joining in and being amazing as ever. I’ll be back next week for the SEMI-FINAL! It’s all about patisserie, and we probably should have kept Manon for that. You can also swing by Strictly on Saturday if that’s your thing - have a brilliant week!
Star Baker this week...RUBY! Going home this week...MANON!
OOH, controversial. She was too French for Danish Week, and Rahul lives to stress another day. I’m not sure how I feel about that, I think Rahul should probably have gone. He’s a bit of a debbie downer, and if you can’t get make it to the end of Bake Off with a smile on your face we might as well all go and watch Killing Eve instead.
Updated
So my money is Ruby for Star Baker, and Rahul going home. Or maybe Manon? She’s missed the Danish brief this week, and Paul looks quite miffed about it.
I haven’t really enjoyed this episode, it feels like all the joy and fun has been sucked out of the tent. It’s just pastry, guys. Nobody died.
We need a Bake Off all stars featuring all the fun people. Val, Selasi, Richard, Tamal, Sandy and Andrew would all be on my dream team.
Updated
“I don’t deserve to be here any more. I just need to be kicked out”, says Rahul. Everyone’s had a cry this week apart from Ruby. She’s absolutely hard as nails.
Kim-Joy’s opera friend Charlotte is exquisite, but the pastries are underproved and soggy. She gets a bit tearful, bless her.
Briony’s Nana Pat Kagekone looks angry but fab, and her flavours get a thumbs up from the judges.
OK, time for Rahul. His pastries are burned and dry, but the marzipan and sweet decorations are delicious.
Time for Showstopper judging! Ruby’s Kagekone is her sister, and it’s rather charming. Her pastries have lovely layers but it needed an apricot glaze. A nice effort from Ruby.
Manon’s friend has a plaited marshmallow skirt, but Paul’s not having her chocolate filling - that’s a pain au chocolat and not a Danish. She does puppy eyes, but he’s still not having it - her pastry is overbaked on the outside and underbaked on the inside.
15 minutes left! Bodies and limbs are being assembled, and decoration is being added. Kim-Joy’s looks rather fabulous, as always. Rahul appears to be adding some kind of shroud, which looks terrible. Briony has given Nana Pat a pearl necklace, and Rahul is swearing so much they’ve had to beep him out. RAHUL, breathe. He’s powering that oven on negativity alone. Can’t decide if he needs a hug or a kick in the shins.
Updated
Kim-Joy, Briony and Ruby all seem happy with their pastries, albeit Kim-Joy’s is quite...robust.
Meanwhile Rahul has increased the temperature in the tent several degrees just by sighing and muttering.
Updated
Nana Pat is in the oven, followed by all the other pastry body parts. Rahul’s butter is leaking. So glad I didn’t include “oh dear me” in the bingo, we’d all be comatose by now.
Time to make their pastry limbs and body parts. Rahul is making lovely twists, and seems less like he’s having a meltdown, possibly because it’s about a billion degrees in that tent.
Things we learned this evening: the board game Operation is called ‘Crazy Doctor’ in France. Who knew?
Updated
Kim-Joy and Briony have started on their decoration. Kim-Joy’s Kagekone is her opera-loving friend, so she’s going all out on the fancy trimmings. Absolutely want a night at the opera with Kim-Joy.
Updated
Manon’s Kagekone represents her friend, who has pain au chocolat arms and legs. I would also be friends with this person, you’d never be short of a snack.
Briony is making a Kagekona of her Nana Pat, with a sherbet handbag and toffee heels. I already love it. Ruby’s Kagekona is her sister.
Meanwhile Rahul is making a Kagemand of the King of India. Either he’s spurning family members, or Rahul is actually Indian royalty.
Updated
Showstopper time! I’ve never quite got to grips with Scandi food, so I’m not sure what constitutes a showstopper.
This week our bakers have to make a traditional Danish birthday cake shaped like a man or a woman. It has to be designed to look like someone they know, and the Danish all cheer when you cut the head off. Happiest people on the planet.
Can we bring back Terry’s death mask?
Updated
Aebleskiver judging time! Ruby’s been busted on the post-filling, and they’re a bit stodgy. Briony’s look neater and the filling is in the right place, and a good dipping sauce too. Kim-Joy’s are a bit inconsistent, but stodgy inside. Rahul’s are burned on the outside and raw on the inside, and Manon’s are all different sizes. WELL DONE EVERYONE.
Rahul comes last, Manon 4th, Ruby 3rd, Kim-Joy 2nd and Briony first!
Updated
Ruby is post-injecting her apple sauce, whilst Rahul’s pancakes are as black and sad-looking as the little cloud that lives above his head. TIME’S UP!
Updated
The main issue currently is understanding what 90 degrees looks like. Ruby has worked out the rotation process, but can’t find the hole. We’ve all been there.
Updated
First up, making the apple filling and the strawberry dipping sauce. Then something that looks like pancake batter - Manon has seen these before because her sister once dated a Danish guy. Kim-Joy is greasing the balls. These two stories are not related.
Technical challenge! It’s time to make 14 Danish aebleskiver, which look like a doughnut/pancake hybrid full of apple and cinnamon. Get in my belly.
Loving Briony’s Danish doorstop, but Paul’s less impressed. It tastes like a malted loaf and the toppings are too dry. Giant fail.
Rahul’s rye bread is too dense and it all looks a bit of a mess. The bread is heavy and gluey, and he tried too hard. Rahul looks like his world has ended. Briony is crying. This is all quite dramatic.
Judging time! Ruby’s Smorrebrod gets a thumbs up from the judges, and Paul likes the tandoori flavour. The asparagus one gets a thumbs up too.
Manon’s rye bread is too pale and lacks seeds, and it’s not savoury enough. Basically she’s made a French loaf and put dessert on it. Absolutely fine by me.
Kim-Joy has put dill all over her sandwich, which is a big no from me. Feeling a bit queasy, dill is the devil’s herb.
Updated
Five minutes left, and Briony is serving up a Danish marbled doorstop. She’s also dropped her swans. Rahul has perked up.
“I’m just worried that the egg bumblebees look a bit dried out”, says Kim-Joy. You’ve made a bee out of an egg, hun, let’s not worry too much about moisture content.
Updated
One hour left! Loaves are baking, with mixed results. Ruby and Briony have both made tiny loaves, I fear they may make a disappointingly meagre sandwich. Rahul and Briony have cut everything a bit fine, so they have to slice warm bread. BAD.
Updated
Kim-Joy needs her eggs to hard boil, because she’s turning them into bumblebees. Of course she is, when have you NOT peeled an egg and thought about transforming it into a bee?
Rahul’s rye dough is not rising. This is not good news, and he’s already decided he’s leaving because that’s how Rahul rolls.
Updated
Manon’s Smorrebrod features cheese and fruit, which is all I need in life. Chuck in one of Briony’s tomato swans and that’s pretty much my dream lunch.
Updated
Rahul’s sandwiches feature smoked salmon and 94 different toppings. Ruby’s popping tandoori chicken on hers. That’s more like it.
Briony is making two rye breads, marbled into a single loaf. Her toppings include flowers and a tomato swan.
I really want an oven with one of those proving drawers - once I’ve got one, I’ll know I’ve finally made it and my life will be complete.
Updated
This week’s Signature Challenge is a loaf of rye bread, served as two open sandwiches with different toppings. Loving Prue’s woodland creatures shirt, it’s adorable.
In a tribute to Jon, everyone is wearing a lurid shirt. Rahul’s is a floral fiesta and he looks quite uncomfortable about it. But maybe that’s just Rahul. Are croissants Danish, he asks?
Noel and Sandi are dressed as vikings, and Sandi is speaking Danish. Empty the bottle.
First viking reference! Drink!
And we’re off! PREVIOUSLY ON BAKE OFF: VEGAN WEEK, sponsored by coconut oil and magical chickpea jizz. Kim-Joy took Star Baker, but Jon wasn’t in the vegan zone and left the tent for the final time. Only five bakers remain, which means we’ve made it to the quarter final!
This week’s bake off bingo – a swig of Carlsberg for any occurrence of the following:
- Sandi speaking Danish
- Viking references
- A Hollywood hygge
- Pickled herring
- Kim-Joy recreating the entire works of Hans Christian Andersen out of fondant
Velkommen!
God aften everyone, and velkommen to this week’s Great British Bake Off liveblog! It’s DANISH WEEK, which I’m assuming was a mandatory clause in Sandi’s contract, or some kind of reciprocal government deal that requires Denmark to back our shabby Brexit plan in exchange for us sending planeloads of Brits to Copenhagen to eat bacon and blue cheese.
Apparently the Danes are the happiest people on the planet so they must be getting something right in the kitchen - this series of Bake Off has been nothing if not educational, so I’m here for a masterclass in Danish baking.
Kick off is at 8pm, but you might want to take a little time beforehand to light a few candles, grab a blanket and give your viewing space a touch of Danish hygge. See you in a bit!
Updated
.jpg?w=600)
