While we’re all brainwashed—lulled into a comfortable trance by the tranquil voice of Jim Nantz—to believe the Masters is “A tradition unlike any other,” the slate of NFL games on Thanksgiving is the true champion of unique sports experiences.
Thanksgiving NFL games carry so much more than the actual matchup or even outcome. For some, they are an escape from family members or that weird casserole thing, with all the raisins on it, that Aunt Clara made. For others, it’s a chance to digest and catch one’s breath while enjoying a form of holiday-warming nostalgia that harkens back to Pre-Turducken. There are conversations—with minor doses of directed snark—with people you don’t normally talk to: “Well…that’s actually a Cover-4, Bill.”
For many folks, it’s a chance to sleep.
And whatever your reason is for watching (or ignoring) the NFL on Thanksgiving day, I’m sure it’s fantastic. It’s unique, in your particular way—regardless if your team is playing, if your money is swaying, or if you’re simply a fan of all-things Joe Buck. At the end of the day, this proverbial smorgasbord of football consumption ultimately comes down to how you look at it.
Remote, please.
Chicago Bears vs. Detroit Lions
Glass Half-Full:
This game, unlike the others, has so much history—it’s matchup No. 180. It’s always great, regardless of the team’s quarterback or shortcomings.
The Bears are coming off a win over the Giants, where Mitch Trubisky looked decent at times, and the defense lived up to its 4th-overall ranking. The Bears won this game last year too, behind a solid effort from Chase Daniel—so, maybe, if Trubisky is ineffective, the memory of yesteryear could be the spark for the offense?
For The Lions, although the team has suffered four consecutive losses, none have been by more than eight points. Like most rivalries such as this, the records don’t factor into the outcome, so you have to like the chances when playing in front of the home crowd.
Glass Half-Empty:
Who is David Blough? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Who lines up under center, for either team, holds about as much importance as whether there’s sausage in the stuffing or not—it’s stuffing.
The Bears barely beat the Giants, and Josh Nagy seems like a befuddled press secretary at this point. The Lions have been hanging on by the fact they ‘barely” lost to basically their entire schedule. Though Matt Patricia and his pencil might make for a cool Halloween costume, it causes nothing but indigestion on more food-centric holidays like Thanksgiving. Sure, the NFC is a somewhat open road, but that doesn’t mean it’s an abandoned parking lot. Change the channel, and let’s see what Hoda is up to!
Buffalo Bills vs. Dallas Cowboys
Glass Half-Full
Nothing is better than Thanksgiving and Dallas Cowboys football. It doesn’t matter who they are playing, whether you personally like them or not, or if the teams got all their ducks in a row. It’s perfection. And this year’s matchup against the Bills is a must-see TV event! Dallas’ top offense against the third-overall team defense. What a battle. The Bills have been a surprise this season, with Josh Allen leading the team to a record of 8-3 (that’s playoff stuff!). And the Cowboys, though stumped by the Patriots last week, still have one of the most exciting teams in the NFL (they, too, have a real chance at making a mess for other teams come playoff time!).
Glass Half-Empty:
Oh, look, Jerry is cleaning his glasses. Oh, whoa, now his son is cleaning his glasses. Oh man, I missed Zeke jumping into the Salvation Army pot because I was watching Jerry clean his glass from a different camera angle on my phone.
The Cowboys’ Thanksgiving game has become a traditionally bland snooze-fest, a basic tv dinner that’s just served on a fancy plate. The powers that be were smart to bring in the Bills over a wash like the Redskins or Chargers (still can’t figure that one out), but there’s really nothing special about this game. (A Buffalo-to-Dallas flight seems a bit excessive, so we won’t have the possibility of Bills fans throwing an uncooked Turkey with a #BillsMafia tattoo onto the field to save our collective disinterest.)
Nope. It will be cutaways of the fans doing silly Pilgrim/Turkey-themed antics, with Jerry and company being the VO feature right before they flash-cut to Jason Garrett as he brings on the field goal unit for fourth-and-goal.
New Orleans Saints vs. Atlanta Falcons
Glass Half-Full:
The finale of the day on NBC is an excellent NFC South matchup, with two of the best quarterbacks in the league—a Brees vs. Ryan Battle Royale. Let’s enjoy this because the window to have such a showdown is indeed closing.
The Saints are one of the best squads in the NFL, not just the NFC. At 9-2, they are tied with Seattle for the second-best record in the NFC and are a weekly headache for opposing defensive coordinators. Michael Thomas is incredible to watch. Alvin Kamara and Latavius Murray are a rushing enthusiast’s dream. The Falcons have fallen well sort short of the Expectation Nest this season, but that’s not to say there haven’t been times when Dan Quinn’s group looked exactly like who we thought they were. An example would be a few weeks ago, when they defeated the Saints at home, 26-9.
Like the Bears and the Lions, when it comes to divisional matchups such as this, the records aren’t the critical factor. Add in the loud and zany Mercedes-Benz Stadium, with the Falcons wearing throwback uniforms and the Saints going Color Rush, and you’re looking at a perfect rubber-match scenario.
Glass Half-Empty:
After the Cris Collinsworth slide-in, this game could get really ugly, really quickly. Although the Falcons did beat the Saints, repeating the task would be the equivalent of getting the kid to eat two vegetables before they’re allowed to have dessert. The home-field advantage does carry some value, but then again, that was probably the thought process before the Falcons lost the Buccaneers last week. And a poor outcome could be the same for the Saints. Carolina basically kicked away a win last week, a game where the Saints didn’t look like a top-tier juggernaut.
Add it all up, and this would be the type of game you’d expect NBC to flex out of…
It’s primetime, mind you, so we’re looking at a real possibility everything could suddenly be an expose of Al Michales’ reflections of John Madden stuffing ducks inside of chickens inside of turkeys, with Mr. Collinsworth agreeing: “Well, you know, it’s what the season’s all about, right? You’ve got—and I don’t know how (don’t want to know how)—like seven different things going there, Al. Michelle—she’s down there to see it. What you think?”
