The Gallery: Stephen Ireland

'The story of a visitor from the planet of Cork who finds it impossible to integrate himself into international football,' chuckles John O'Donnell Photograph: Photomontage

'Stephen could be a Villa legend if he removes distracting thoughts and focus on football,' zens Koichiro Yamamura Photograph: Photomontage

'I tried to create an image, but it wasn't available. Apparently its grandmother died,' says David Braley Photograph: Photomontage

'Stevie, Stevie, the little man with the pink and white car,' hums Matt Clarke Photograph: Photomontage

Peter Wickett is responsible for this smoky effort Photograph: Photomontage

'This picture has been inspired by the way Stephen floats around in midfield and by his very round head,' says the logical Gareth Johnson Photograph: Photomontage

'Stephen England puts to bed any rumours that he is to return to Trap's international set up,' giggles Brian Quinn Photograph: Photomontage

Dave Cernuto has come up with this anti-smoking campaign Photograph: Photomontage

'With a bit more focus Stephen was hoping to be a central figure for Big Eck's-men,' says Andrew Smith in this, er, X-Men tribute Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Karsten Thot: 'Desperate for results, Alex McLeish extends the treatment that got Stephen back to form to Darren Bent. The tobacco? "Team Blend"' Photograph: Photomontage

'Stephen Ireland stars as Batman's looks-obsessed nemesis VAIN in this summer's upcoming blockbuster,' trumpets Johnny Donegan Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Daragh McCann: 'Mo money, mo problems for Stephen' Photograph: Photomontage

'Forgetting even to put on his super undies, Stephen Ireland seemed to be in a bit of a hurry to leave money obsessed City and rode off to find a place where the only green is the grass,' sighs Greg Hammond Photograph: Photomontage