The Gallery: Sergio Agüero

'Knowing who Agüero's better half is I had toyed with a "Meet the Fockers' idea,' writes Mike Taylor, 'but figured any possible wrath inflicted by Maradona would be on a far more biblical scale' Photograph: Photomontage

'English football is so easy. Why so serious?' toots Faez Hassan Photograph: Photomontage

Someone was always going to do it. 'Sergio Agüero must be investigated precisely by his father-in-law before his marriage,' titters Koichiro Yamamura Photograph: Photomontage

'Sergio prepares to show Premiership defences the Wrath of God …' toots Rob Wright. No, we've not seen it either Photograph: Photomontage

'There's a new Argentine in town, parps Hillel Aron, 'and his wife looks a bit familiar' Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Jason Froggett: 'Hair by Aghairo. From the Mariner Mullet to the Neymar Fauxhawk, Sergio could outrival our own Becks in the follicle stakes!' Photograph: Photomontage

'Sergio's greatest aspiration in life is to emulate his father-in-law in every aspect of his game,' honks David Braley Photograph: Photomontage

'The superstar marksman has arrived,' chuckles Anthony Salisbury Photograph: Guardian