The Gallery: Nicolas Anelka

"It turns out that Nicolas and Didier are perfectly happy playing together after all," coos Liam Ferry Photograph: n/a

"Nicolas an Elk." It's the master of mirth Alistair Purdie's effort Photograph: n/a

"Corinthians have announced a new range of figures called 'Microstar Bratz' for prima donna Premier League stars. It even includes a dummy," says John Barry Photograph: n/a

"He’s played for a few clubs, hasn’t he? Here’s an early picture of the great man before he Escaped from New York," says John O'Reilly Photograph: n/a

'This front-line ain't big enough for the two of us.' "Things had come to a head in the wild West of London," yee-hahs Phil Seagrave Photograph: n/a

"Be sure to recognise the warning signs." It's a public service message from Stuart Goodacre Photograph: n/a

"Even as a young boy, the Incredible Sulk knew where he would find greatness," reckons Robert Schofield Photograph: n/a

"The happy couple embrace at the event nobody thought would happen," chortles Stephen Garman Photograph: n/a

"A rare glimpse of Fickle-las Anelka's secret diary." That's pun-believable Luke Wallis Photograph: n/a

"Still haunted by his penalty miss in the Champions League final, Nicolas is now sponsored by Eating Humble Pie," hoots Photoshop's John Barry Photograph: n/a

Coming to a bargain bin near you soon. It's Nicolas Anelka's latest self-help book. Thanks Phil Seagrave Photograph: n/a

'Mr Hiddink has told me to work on my relationship with Didier Drogba.' Richard Warwick envisages a quick-fix to the strained relationship between Chelsea's strikeforce Photograph: n/a

"Day by day you never know which Nicolas Anelka you're going to get," reckons Thomas Nycz-Losi Photograph: n/a

"Nicolas Anelka and Craig Bellamy seem to have the monopoly on massive signing-on fees," chuckles Damian Hook Photograph: n/a

"Is it just me or does anybody else think Nic and Didier have been trying a bit too hard to make their partnership work," wonders Keh Ng Photograph: n/a

'Don’t make me play, you wouldn’t like me when I play!' This frightening little effort comes courtesy of Jason Froggett Photograph: n/n/a