The Gallery: Luka Modric

Andrew Booth reckons Luka needs to take a leaf out of Steve McQueen's book Photograph: Photomontage

Gary Ellis joins Harry Redknapp as he ponders whether £30m would represent sufficient return on investment for his Croatian masterpiece Photograph: Photomontage

'Steve Coogan had never created a more successful character,' declares Stephane Osborne Photograph: Photomontage

'This ... this squalor ... this filth. There must be more than this, 'Arry,' parps a Steptoe and Son-watching Doug Siebert Photograph: Photomontage

More UK sitcom-themed fun, this time from Paul Jones: 'Luka wanted to move on to bigger and better things, but something always seemed to get in the way' Photograph: Photomontage

'Luka hopes to strike it rich with André Villas-Barrymore, as flush Fergie looks set to miss out,' haw-haws Nick Fielder Photograph: Photomontage

'Not even a Wile E manager can prevent Modric from doing a runner,' sniggers Steve Fuller Photograph: Photomontage

'He's not a transfer target, he's a very naughty boy,' harrumphs Redknapp in this effort from Golly Photograph: Photomontage

'This is Luka Madgeric singing a line from Papa Don't Preach whilst emerging from chaos,' explains Ethan Mackintosh, helpfully Photograph: Photomontage

'Luka was starting to sound like a broken record,' chortles the Elvis Costello-inspired Brendan Ashbrook Photograph: Photomontage

It's Daniel Levy's The Price Is Right, courtesy of Steven Crouch (not related to Peter, as far as we know). '"What should Chelsea do?" he asks. "Higher? Higher??? Good game, good game"' Photograph: Photomontage

Richard Day, meanwhile, is more of a Deal or No Deal fan Photograph: Photomontage

'What is Croatian for gentleman's agreement?' gargles Chris Wimmer Photograph: Photomontage

Matt Hazel wants our protagonist and Levy to settle this one like men Photograph: Photomontage

'Levy didn't think training with the reserves was punishment enough for poor Luka,' parps Ryan Preston Photograph: Photomontage

Mark Graham crawls through 500 yards of brown stuff to bring us this entry Photograph: Photomontage

'Luka finds himself in the awkward position of being Inbetween clubs,' bleats Jake Hopwood Photograph: Photomontage

'Arrie Wilkes isn't about to let his star player get away,' whispers Misery-inducing Alun Hewinson. 'Shhhhh, Luka ... it's for the best' Photograph: Photomontage