The Gallery: El Clásico (Parts 1-4)

Hands up who's frightened ... yup, we were too. Keep your puppet master ideas to yourself next time, Kevin Lemass Photograph: Photomontage

'Prove us wrong, José,' pleads Lenny DeValera Photograph: Photomontage

'Not so long ago, in a country quite far away...' we're sure you know how the rest of Rob Schofield's riff goes Photograph: Photomontage

'The current El Clásico series shows there are only two teams in Europe at the moment,' reckons Yuma Fujita Photograph: Photomontage

Ladies' man Joby Spragg brings us this entry Photograph: Photomontage

'Real take desperate measures to stop Messi,' booms Brendan Cole Photograph: Photomontage

'People will be really fed up with El Clásico by the time either side secures a place in the Champions League final,' yawns Koichiro Yamamura, putting on his sleeping cap and heading off to bed with a nice cup of hot chocolate Photograph: Photomontage

'Real Madrid aren't worried as long as The Special One is in charge,' chortles Russ Gable, while flicking through Mad Photograph: Photomontage

'RCS nabs another victim,' sighs Hugh Garrett Photograph: Photomontage

'José and Punxsutawney Phil resign themselves to yet another El Clásico ... when will it ever end?' wonders Jason Froggett, who gets extra marks for spelling 'Punxsutawney' correctly Photograph: Photomontage

'Ronaldo wants to follow in the footsteps of countryman Luis Figo,' chuckles Ammar Al-waeel Photograph: Photomontage

Peter Jackson would write a decent script for the semi-final, according to Harish Dixit's epic effort Photograph: Photomontage