Bobby Beale isn’t on Twitter. But Bobbie Beale, who lives in California, is. So she woke up to a whole load of flak after being confused with Lucy Beale’s killer.
That’s Lucy Beale from the British soap EastEnders, who was murdered on Good Friday last year. Her killer has just been revealed as her younger stepbrother Bobby. This was news to Bobbie Beale. “Why are 3 people from Scotland that I don’t know, tweeting me about killing someone named Lucy...” she tweeted, worried that there had been a real murder.
Why are 3 people from Scotland that I don't know, tweeting me about killing someone named Lucy...
— Bobbie Beale (@BobbieBeale) February 19, 2015
While Bobbie shook it all off with a selfie and #Ididntkilllucy, she soon realised she had been caught up in EastEnders hysteria as the British soap celebrated its 30th anniversary with the answer to the long-running whodunit.
For uninitiated Americans, EastEnders is like the lovechild of Days of Our Lives and The Wire, only with a bit more death and a bit less meth. Although it’s set in the East End of London, the characters owe more to the whelk-eating inhabitants of the gritty 1985 version of the area than the bearded, cape-wearing types who cycle around the area working in social media and dining in cereal cafes today.
The Lucy Beale in question was a blonde bombshell with the face of a model and the temperament of a particularly angry toddler. With her cocaine problem and impressive collection of ex- and current lovers, Lucy wasn’t short of enemies.
For 10 months, the entire cast has been under suspicion of her murder, with the smart money split between her dad, Ian, who lied about his alibi because he was with a hooker, and her ex-stepmum Jane, because, well, that’s just the sort of thing stepmums do.
Also in the frame was her best friend’s dad, Max, who has a head that looks like it’s fashioned entirely from gingerbread but is rugged enough to have women forming a disorderly queue. On the day of Lucy’s death, she had just broken up with him and was romancing Lee Carter, a soldier who wooed her with a cheesecake.
Confused? So are the people of the UK. There was uproar when an 11-year-old was exposed as the murderer – where’s the juice in that? EastEnders is often accused of being dark and miserable, but there are flashes of humour, mostly provided by Mick Carter, the quintessential London landlord, adept at putting on a “proper naughty knees-up” (if you ever get an invite like that, go) and telling punters to “get outta my pub”. Or Kat Slater, a goddess in leopard print, which is soap shorthand for a good night out and some filthy flirtation topped off by being sick in a bush.
Of course, the more sensational the storyline, the more it’s lapped up by millions of viewers. While EastEnders’ competitors (Emmerdale, a soap fuelled by murder and lust in a northern farming village, and Coronation Street, a soap in which a pub and a knicker factory provide the main stage for – you guessed it – murder and lust) have their moments, EastEnders threw everything at its 30th anniversary. A wedding, a birth in the toilets of the Queen Vic pub, an 80-something mum killing her beloved son with heroin and a rapist having his throat stamped on: these are just a few of the things that happened on that rainy East End Thursday evening.
And what of he whodunit? Bobby Beale, who has since been likened to Damien, Chucky and Crazy Eyes in an avalanche of internet memes, awaits his fate in Friday night’s live episode (#EELive), during which actors are under pressure not to laugh when they get each other’s names wrong.
And as for Bobbie Beale, she’s an overnight Twitter superstar. In even better news, she has a dog called Lucy Beale – and she didn’t kill her, either.
