Something of an action- stars special this week, as there is news of Lost in Showbiz deity Jean-Claude Van Damme.Did you know he can bench press 365lbs, and once declared himself "the Fred Astaire of karate"?
I wish I knew how to quit him.
Thrillingly, Jean-Claude has a new movie out - and in a startling break with tradition, he will not play a guy who has to avenge his brother's death in a martial arts tournament. In fact, let's leave it to him to summarise the plot of The Shepherd: Border Patrol. "I play a New Orleans homicide detective," he told an interviewer this week, "who becomes a US border patrol detective, between Columbus and Las Palomas, Mexico. I try to uncover this criminal drug ring from this drug lord who has a team of six Navy Seals."
Mm. We call this type of movie "Oscar bait". Unfortunately, The Shepherd seems to be a straight-to-DVD release, so the director obviously failed to court the Academy by making Jean-Claude's character highly-intelligent-but-mentally-ill or a violin prodigy or whatever.
Yet this would appear to be a blessing in disguise, as Van Damme goes on to deliver a hauntingly eloquent denunciation of life on Hollywood's statuette treadmill.
"When I watch the awards," he explains, "when I see all those people just showing up in front of a camera, I don't think it's right. They look like animals in cages. All that has gone for me, so I feel good about that."
Evidently, evidently. "My movies are international," he then muses. "Everybody understands a slap in the face. In Japan, Belgium or America, a punch is a punch. Comedy will be different in Europe or America, so my movies are very international. I'm a brand name. Van Damme is like Levi's."
What to add? Other than a timely bonus fact: Van Damme was originally supposed to play the alien in Predator but he was fired for moaning and being too short.
