If Greta Thunberg came to Manchester for lunch I think you could safely say that this Robinsons pub is the last place you might find her.
With a close-up view of one Manchester Airport’s landing runways and featuring an American-style barbecue menu that reads like a vegan’s worst nightmare, we are more likely in Donald Trump territory here.
It’s a pub that makes the most of its location.
Outside there is a beer garden offering an unparalleled view of the frequent aircraft landings with a covered area called, of course, The Hangar.
There’s no doubt that with playground apparatus installed, on a sunny day it's a great spot for kids for whom the ‘aeroplanes!’ offer a great deal of continuous excitement.
Similarly, any true plane spotters will be in their element and, although the day we visited was a rainy one, there were a couple of likely suspects in evidence, binoculars in hand.
However, the high wire fences and barbed wire give the garden all the charm of a penitentiary exercise compound.
Inside there’s considerably more of your typical pub trappings albeit with an unmistakable airport theme.
As well as all sorts of tributes to the world of aviation, engine rotors for overhead fans for instance, and aircraft-related prints, there are entire booths enclosed with metal pods which look like plane engines.
The fit-out is not without its charms, with stone-flagged floors, fetching dark green tiles and floral-patterned wallpaper.
The light and airy conservatory area where we eat is the interior’s prime spot for both warmth and a cracking view of the landing stage.
What’s cooking?
If The Airport is a place to count the planes landing outside it’s probably not a good idea to count the calories.
Overloaded burgers and oversized hot dogs have been popular in these parts for some time and this menu runs the full gamut.
If the trend has run its course nobody told this kitchen.
Never losing the opportunity to offer an aeroplane-related concept, the pub’s menu even offers a 'Man V A380' experience (£20). It’s an ‘enormous two foot long sausage in roll topped with chilli con carne, pulled pork, beef brisket, fried onions, BBQ sauce, cheese, gherkins, ketchups and American mustard and served with a ‘mountain of chips’.
If you finish it in 15 mins you get a free T-shirt – one size perhaps: extra large.
In keeping with both the American-style excess and the airport theme there are sharing 'crates' offering six or seven items from the barbecue list.
Pizza looks a decent choice from what lands (ahem) at other tables and seems to offer the sole saving grace for vegans and veggies alike.
There's also the essential American barbecue classic, without which any menu of this type falls way short: slow-cooked barbecue ribs (£19.95 for a full rack, £11.50 for half).
The results are bona fide; the tender pork pulls from the bone without risk of dislodging my weary dental crowns and the barbecue sauce (there's a choice of two others) is sweet and sticky with a waft of smoky chipotle.
Fries are decent but the coleslaw is a pallid, apathetic affair and is disturbed no further than one inspection.
A corn on the cob is okay but needs seasoning and showing it the grill might have helped.
The Bronx burger (£9.95) sort-of does the pastrami on rye thing but in a bun. Not content with adding just pastrami there's also bacon which seems to somewhat betray its kosher deli provenance.
Although it looks the part, I find the patty chewy and dry, and the bacon doesn't really chime with the cured beef.
Toddler Libby gets a spaghetti Bolognese which is decent enough, although I'm really not sure about the spongy, cardboard texture of the stale garlic bread added to the plate.
Can I get a decent pint?
Well, this is a Robinsons pub after all - and it has its own dedicated golden ale called Aviator (£3.50).
It's not a bad example of its style although it's a little shy and retiring hops-wise, and lacks the sort of fruity tang I'd expect from a golden ale.
Other cask options are the Robinsons stalwarts Dizzy Blonde and Unicorn.
The wine menu, which, given the meat driven theme of the menu, seems worth a look, has a promising logic about it and I know from tastings I've been to at Robbies that they take their wine buying very seriously.
But my wife's Russell Road Chenin Blanc from Margaret River, Australia (£4.95 per 175ml) seems a little wan, possibly from being open too long.
Ditto my Federico Nero d'avola Appassimento from Sicily (£4.95 per 175ml), although here the oxidisation is less damaging and I can tell it's a nice glass; the 'appassimento' technique adding caramel sweetness.
Should I save room for pudding?
The kitchen doesn't appear to invest much effort into desserts.
My apple pie (£6) has all the appearance of something bought in.
If the pastry once exhibited any crisp, biscuity crumble it was long gone and replaced with more of a suet style texture.
It's not altogether unpleasant but I can't see Mary Berry being impressed - I suspect a microwave in the production chain.
Our other pudding is a decent enough toasted waffle with ice cream and berries (£4.95).
Are you being served?
Service starts off swimmingly with only a brief moment of hesitation at the door before we are welcomed within and seated.
Our waitress is friendly, helpful, swift-ish and communicative.
But towards the end of the lunch service things tail off and we're left to our own devices.
A couple nearby explain they've waited too long to order their food and will be leaving after their drinks.
What’s the damage?
Almost £50 including two drinks each and a kids' meal - the wine obviously adding to the expense.
The verdict
If you're into watching planes land then this is obviously the place for you, irrespective of the food offer.
If you want somewhere a little different to take the kids and hear your toddler shout 'aeroplane!' every five minutes then this is definitely the place for you.
The menu will not disappoint the kids and anyone with a penchant for ribs will be happy enough.
Follow CityLife
We have a dedicated Facebook page for all the latest on where to drink, eat, shop, go out and events across Greater Manchester.
From the best food and drink deals to exclusive looks at new restaurants and bars, gig reviews and weekend plans - we've got you covered.
You can follow the page here for all the latest news.
We also have Facebook groups specialising in eating out around Manchester and going out.
You can also follow us on Twitter and Instagram.
To stay up to speed with everything going on in the city centre, you can follow our new, dedicated Facebook page too, where we'll be bringing you all the latest news, reviews, transport, music, dining and loads more.
