Well I totally see why Dave always says a year is, like, an entire minute in politics, as in literally the day before Eastleigh it was all about the new video, I actually checked with Theresa because I was not sure about the pink rubber costume, she was like, thank you Samantha, as a noted fashion maven I know the impact of a pop of colour & Grayling had dug out his banana outfit and they were practising wiggling all through cabinet because Phil Hammond kept lurching to the right? But when we turned up for the shoot there was no Theresa, & Hammy & Grayling texted apols & even Pickles went, is it just me or does anyone else get the feeling, post-Eastleigh, that symbiotic viral memes have jumped the shark, & walked out, Govey was like, et tu Picklesy?
So in the end it was just us, the Goveys & Oik filmed in the small kitchen, actually quite sweet if you like old-school Harlem Shake, but Craig went, no offence sir, are you SURE this is where the British people are right now? Dave was like, trust me Oliver, politics may be popular where you live but for the millions of ordinary people who feel their bills getting tighter by the month, I get that this is still the most important viral hit they know and I will not let them down with cynical talk of Right or Left. We are the only party simultaneously committed to proper representation on YouTube and with an important plan for serious things to protect the patriotic people we care about.
So now the entire world is in Paris but I am here doing Red Nose baked goods with Mr Cobber going Sabrina, listen to Lynton, the Bulgarians are coming, do not even think of making freaking macaroons and I hope it is lard in that fucking frosting, and Craig styling the apron shots *puts on get-a-load-of-this-Tim-Loughton face* and Dave going, babes, Claire Perry checked & apparently most ordinary people bake in red nylon wigs? I said to Mummy no offence to ordinary people & do NOT tell Dave, but you know when you got him that TV job all that time ago? Well, do you happen to know of any others?
