In a decision I already thoroughly regret, I have now read the entire 238-page Jeffrey Epstein birthday book. After an extremely hot shower in the hopes of feeling just a little bit cleaner (didn’t work), I am back to report that whatever you have heard, the reality will obliterate your faith in mankind.
The headline revelation is, of course, that Donald Trump’s birthday message, apparently written across the body of an underage girl discussing his and Epstein’s “wonderful secrets,” is here exactly as described.
However, on the scale of things in this book (1 being vanilla and 10 being soul-destroyingly nightmarish), Trump’s message comes in at around a 6. For a 10, look no further than the section ominously titled “CHILDREN” (in multi-colored Comic Sans). And by the way, if you don’t want to ruin your day, this is your last chance to jump off!
This section begins with a story, “Uncel. F makes popy” written by a child (or an adult affecting the spelling and handwriting of one) that appears to describe their uncle defecating onto the floor in front of them. I honestly can’t tell if it’s worse if it’s a child or an adult writing this stuff: “mommy me popy on flor and me see popy for first time”.
There is a whole section of Epstein's Birthday book labeled "Children," with photographs of a very young girl posing and what appears to letters in a child's handwriting. pic.twitter.com/DaRWsVCi6o
— julie k. brown (@jkbjournalist) September 9, 2025
Moving swiftly on and things immediately get more depraved. Next is a child’s (the handwriting suggests by the same person who wrote the story above) painting of a wedding, captioned:
“Here comes the bride/all dressed in white. Where is the grom/he’s in the lady’s room. What is his reminder/to work on his binder.”
There then follows (mercifully) redacted images of an unidentified pre-pubescent girl and a baby. Later in the book is also what appears to be a child’s drawing showing Epstein in 1983 offering balloons to small girls, next to an image of him in 2003 being massaged by four blondes with the caption “what a great country!” (jury’s currently out on that one…)
Epstein's finance pals condoned and cheered on his depravity. What happened in 1983? pic.twitter.com/WRvjY5Anv7
— kate briquelet, also on bluesky (@kbriquelet) September 9, 2025
Skin-crawling
The revelation here isn’t that Epstein was a pedophile. We all knew that. What’s shocking here is that all this stuff was out in the open in his 50th birthday book, which would presumably have been available for guests at that party to browse through.
This book’s existence blows a hole in the frantic denials of Epstein associates that they had no idea of his sexual proclivities. The entire 238-page book is stacked full of prominent and wealthy men – including Trump and Bill Clinton – giggling as they make jokes about Epstein being a predatory pedophile.
Epstein dodged justice for his crimes through death, but most of the men in this book walk free to this day. One of them is the current president. Folks, what are we even doing?!
