Recently Rivals took a shot at ranking the best football uniforms in the Big Ten and frankly, they did a bad job. The list is all over the place. Parts of it seem to be put together by human embodiments of an Encyclopedia Britannica circa 1937 and some of it by millennials. They also take some alternate uniforms into account while ignoring others. It’s a mess.
Today I’m going to fix their errors and come up with a uniform ranking that surely not a single person on this beautiful planet of ours will disagree with. NOT ONE. That may seem like an impossible mission, and if so, consider me Tom Cruise. I’ll get it done with Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames at my side.
I’ll be ranking based on standard uniforms used for home and away games during the 2019 season. No crazy alternates. No fuss. If it’s not part of the regular rotation, it’s outta here. With that said, let’s start by making fun of Maryland.
14. Maryland
Maryland has been taking huge Ls in the uniform game since they revamped their look a handful of years ago. Outside of the Terps, the Big Ten is a really solid conference when it comes to uniforms. The helmets are always doing too much and while I respect them for trying to incorporate such a unique state flag into their look, it just rarely ever works. The black on black on black look is their best and it’s still held down by the lid. The rest is just blahhhhhhhhhwful.
13. Rutgers
Rutgers has a pretty standard and solid look, but it’s a bit boring for me. The “R” is kind of a dorky font and I feel like a lot cooler stuff could be possible by using more “Scarlett Knights” insignia or logos. It’s not a bad uniform by any means, but there’s nothing special about it.
12. Illinois
I’m OK with Illinois’ uniforms. Orange and dark blue works pretty well, but not as well as Boise’s orange and blue combo. Their all-white is pretty solid, but I’m not a fan of the heavy blue tops and orange helmets that they rock from time to time. The all-orange getup is a solid C.
11. Indiana
Indiana is basically a slightly more clean Rutgers with a better helmet logo. The Hoosiers have had some pretty decent alternates, but their standard fare is a little too standard for me. Solid, but unspectacular. Put a stripe on the pants or something.
10. Northwestern
I’m not nearly as down on Northwestern as some folks are. Their all-white and all-black looks are pretty good, but I’m not sure if the black tops are really part of their standard rotation. It feels like we see the purple tops much more, which I’m not as big on. I don’t mind the chest stripe at all. The stripes on the front of the pants are pretty good. They are a little behind the gun with purple and black as primary colors, but they show pretty well.
9. Purdue
Another solid Big Ten uniform here. The all-black combination is definitely a good one. I like, but don’t love their helmets. The railroad tracks are a nice idea, but is a little “meh” for me. It’s better in concept than actually on the helmet. Any time they wear gold pants it feels like a mistake.
8. Minnesota
I’ve learned recently that some folks really love Minnesota’s uniforms. I just don’t see it. The gold chrome lids are cool for sure. I like when they incorporate the giant gopher head which isn’t enough, so I can’t really give them plus points for that. The all-maroon combination is solid, but I’m not a big fan of the all-grey look.
7. Nebraska
Indiana with more prestige.They should probably be lower. Wake me up when something interesting happens with their uniforms.
6. Wisconsin
Wisconsin is in the same boat as the other red and white schools, but they have the best block logo. The Wisconsin “W” is a winner. The Badgers are lucky I’m not considering alternate uniforms, because dear god their khaki pants are the worst in the conference.
5. Iowa
I’m a big fan of the Hawkeye helmet logo. We know black and gold works as a color combination. The shoulder stripes are excellent. I would like at least one more option for a helmet, but their standalone look is great, so I don’t blame them. They should wear their all-black look more often.
4. Michigan State
Michigan State’s all-green and all-white looks are among the best in the conference. They are super clean. I’d put their Strom Trooper (all white everything) getup against any other uniform in the conference. The road whites with green pants are just “meh,” but every other combination works. Luckily they don’t get docked for the 2019 neon disaster in this ranking. The Spartan logo on the helmet is as good as logos get, however they could really just one time give a Gruff Sparty helmet a shot. One time.
3. Michigan
Michigan suffers from their current away getup, which I don’t love. The home combination is fantastic. We all know about the helmets, which at this point are slightly overrated, but great nonetheless. I wish Jordan would do something a littler cooler than just plaster the logo all over everything, but it’s still cool to just have that. Michigan is another school that gets saved from their previous alternates getting tossed in the trash. Big yikes.
2. Penn State
Penn State knows exactly what they are in the uniform game and I respect that. They have two looks and they both work. What keeps them from the top spot is that lack of flash, but there is nothing wrong with steady excellence.
1.Ohio State
Ohio State has the best helmet in the conference at the end of the season. Save it, Michigan fans. The OSU lid covered in Buckeye leaf stickers wins. It’s a perfect blend of a professional and amateur that makes college uniforms great. The grey pants are winners and work in wonderful conjunction with boththe red and white tops. Their all-black alternates, which they wear enough to qualify for judgement, are also awesome.
