RODGERS, OVER AND OUT
The project is dead. Long live the next project. Poor Brendan Rodgers. A little under an hour after Liverpool’s 1-1 draw with Everton in the Merseyside derby he was sacked down the blower by the least well-known bigwig at Fenway Sports Group, with only his own inspirational quotes to cheer him up. After three and a half years of bad-mediocre-good-good-very-good-brilliant-my-god-we-almost-won-the-league-mediocre-good-bad-it-isn’t-going-to-get-any-better football, the club’s American owners concluded that the sw@nky new Main Stand that is being built at Anfield would be as empty as Weird Uncle Fiver’s big book on morality when it opens if they continue with the Northern Irishman in charge.
There was much back-slapping among some folk who like to shout loud on the internet about what a good job they’d done in hounding out a manager they’d likely lauded as being the next Bill Shankly little over a year ago. The Fiver can sympathise with Rodgers. Like him we once threatened to be quite good, despite being told otherwise, and almost did a good Fiver once, before having a crisis of confidence and realising that it was a bit of a fluke, and resorting to delivering stodgy disappointment after stodgy disappointment followed up with the odd linguistic flourish intended to make the public doubt their own judgment and think that something half decent might have just happened.
But it wasn’t criticism on Social Facespace or memes on The Twitter that led to his downfall. Match-going supporters greeted recent performances with a Gallic-style shrug of the shoulders and very little in the way of verbal pelters. Perhaps the biggest problem with Brendan Rodgers was that he had forgotten who Brendan Rodgers was and could seemingly only operate inside an Inception-like world made up of scarcely believable buzzwords and motivational guff in which the cult of Brendan Rodgers was the reality.
Make us dream, commanded the Kop after the ultimately jiggered title run-in of 2014. He did. Only it was a dream within a dream masquerading as a dream in which Rodgers believed Mario Balotelli was a suitable replacement for Luis Suárez, Dejan Lovren was the rock they needed at the back and positions such as a fake seven were actually a thing. It’s all right building your own little world to live in if you can clean your sparkly white teeth in the reflection of a trophy or two each morning. But Rodgers couldn’t.
It hasn’t helped that Jürgen Klopp and Carlo Ancelotti have been sat around pointing at multiple Big Cups and league-title gongs either. Liverpool suits are expected to ask Klopp if he fancies jumping into Rodgers’ warm spot this week. He may not fill Liverpool’s trophy cabinet immediately but he’ll get hipster bums on seats and make sure this tea-timely email’s Quote of the Day section doesn’t go bare. And having had recent experience of overseeing defensive shambles after defensive shambles, disjointed football and an identity crisis at a big club that finished way off the pace in a big league recently, Klopp should feel right at home straight away.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The club wants to make it clear that José continues to have our full support. As José has said himself, results have not been good enough and the team’s performances must improve. However, we believe that we have the right manager to turn this season around and that he has the squad with which to do it” – not that he needs any topping up, but Chelsea have given José Mourinho a vote of confidence anyway.
FIVER LETTERS
“I didn’t watch Louis van Gaal’s press conference after the Arsenal defeat, but I can only assume that he pointed out that Arsenal scored three goals from only five shots which was unlucky and questioned the football knowledge of any journalists attempting to put the defeat down to a transfer spree that’s left United with no specialist full-back cover, or playing his two slowest midfielders against what is probably the fastest team in England and then not even asking them to just sit in front of the back four. Most of all I would love to hear just one journalist ask Louis to explain how a manager of his undeniable pedigree reached the conclusion that Antonio Valencia was a better full-back than Rafael” – Martin Huegel.
“I have always been under the impression that your Bits and Bobs section went bit, bob, bit, bob, bit, bob. On Friday you described your third paragraph as a bob but I had it down as a bit. Has it always run bob, bit, bob, bit, bob, bit or was Friday a layout error?” – Iain Christie [you had to play the section backwards like that Slayer album – Fiver Ed].
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Iain Christie.
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BITS AND BOBS
Former Sheffield United footballer Ched Evans will have an appeal against his rape conviction heard after a miscarriages of justice watchdog received information that raises a “real possibility” that the judgment against him could be quashed.
“The struggle against relegation is not my cup of tea,” says former Sunderland manager D1ck Advocaat, which begs the question …
Tactics Tim is reacting in the only way he knows how after Aston Villa slumped into the Premier League’s bottom three: by getting his third person on. “I am the manager and I take responsibility for the performances. But it’s the same Tim Sherwood they were singing the name of last season,” he roared. “I am not working any less hard now.”
Louis van Gaal has been quick to deflect his selection mistakes after Manchester United’s 3-0 defeat at Arsenal. “I didn’t expect that,” he parped. “I was surprised – not performing to our gameplan, not the will to win.”
Congratulations to Chelsea Ladies, champions of the Women’s Super League after a decisive 4-0 win over Sunderland. “Tonight was a champion’s performance,” cheered coach Emma Hayes. “We lost a couple of games in mid-season but we bounced back to win the FA Cup and since then we’ve gone to another level.”
Legia Warsaw have given their manager Henning Berg the boot. “The current formula of co-operation with the coach has expired as it didn’t guarantee accomplishment of all our goals in terms of sporting results during this season and the team’s development,” blathered chairman Boguslaw Lesnodorski.
And Charlton Athletic have launched what they believe is the UK’s first 360-degree highlights footage, which means you can enjoy a home fan giving Fulham’s keeper the finger in all its glory after Jordan Cousins’ 96th-minute equaliser on Sunday.
STILL WANT MORE?
Sunderland are back at the drawing board again after D1ck Advocaat did one, sighs Louise Taylor.
Liverpool are still suffering from an identity crisis in the Premier League era and FSG aren’t helping matters much, writes Proper Journalism’s David Conn.
Ten issues ripe to be plucked from the Premier League talking points tree.
“He was spiky, dogged, assertive, an alpha-male lovely little gliding ghost of a No10” – Barney Ronay gets all effusive about Mesut Özil after Arsenal gave Manchester United a fair shoeing.
And the Gunners’ pinball wizards did little for Bastian Schweinsteiger’s special relationship with Louis van Gaal, reckons Jamie Jackson.
Using Marinus Dijkhuizen’s Brentford sacking as a stick to put analytics back in its box seems strange, argues Sean Ingle.
If you missed it on over the weekend, here’s Daniel Taylor’s chat with Raheem Sterling.
And former USA! USA!! USA!!! international Tom Dooley talks to John Duerden about coaching the Philippines.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
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