The Crystal Maze relaunch relaunched last night, Richard Ayoade fronting its first edition with what Elizabeth Hurley once so charmingly called “civilians” rather than celebrities. In all other respects the game is the same, but with fewer professional egos competing for Ayoade’s space, it’s a slightly less stressful watch.
The Watson family comprises mother Fiona, 22-year-old twins Becca and Catriona, 21-year-old Paul (“That’s too soon,” says Ayoade, looking pained on Fiona’s behalf. “Too soon”) and 25-year-old Chris (Ayoade approves – “That’s a decent buffer”). They are an impressive lot. Through the mental and physical challenges in the Aztec, industrial and futuristic zones they go, picking up crystals as easily as breathing until Fiona panics during a dominoes/synonyms game (“That’s words that mean similar things,” says Ayoade to the camera. “I’ve been asked to provide that definition by Channel 4, who don’t believe in you”), swiftly followed by Paul running out of time during his task and suffering a lock-in. “This is a long period of disappointment for a family show,” points out their host.
As with the original series, it stands or falls by how much you enjoy the presenter’s way. I always found Richard O’Brien too cold and creepy, and enjoy Ayoade’s ironically, bemusedly detached bystander approach much more. This may simply be a function of my greater age – it would be easy to understand anyone’s antipathy towards his frequent puncturing of the fantasy bubble in which the Maze works best.
The games are still inventive, fun and just complicated enough to provide the moment of bafflement that makes their eventual resolution (usually) so satisfactory. Designer Peter Gordon has retained the Heath Robinson-esque quality that always got your adventure glands juicing and made you long to climb into the screen and have a go yourself.
Catriona was elected to play the final game, which turned out to depend on riddles. Catriona couldn’t do riddles, her family said at once. In this they were entirely correct. They ended up winning a VIP experience at York Dungeon (“including guidebook!” said Ayoade, momentarily channelling the spirit of Les Dawson on Blankety Blank), which was a reward exactly in keeping with the low-tech, make-your-own-fun vibe of this homegrown, still charming show.
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