GROUNDS FOR CONCERN
Huzzah, another victory for this proud land! How many times do we have to tell the world to take their investments and their jobs elsewhere? HAVE YOU GOT THE MESSAGE YET? Well, Shahid Khan has, “respectfully withdrawing” (for now) his offer to buy Wembley Stadium after the weight of popular opposition to the deal finally became clear, leaving the nation to rejoice in the continued ownership of a building nobody really needs and the exhilarating absence of funding for grassroots sport.
Among the people mourning the deal’s death was the government’s sports minister, Tracey Crouch, who had declared it “a huge opportunity to cover up 40 years of Conservative underinvestment in what community facilities they somehow haven’t yet forced anyone to sell, and particularly attractive because it wouldn’t require them to actually spend anything or tax anyone boost funding into the development of and maintenance of grassroots pitches”. What, though, to make of it all? The papers painted a foggy picture. The Mail declared it “a great victory for English football”; “Football’s staying home!” trilled the Express; “A shameful betrayal of the nation’s children”, screamed the Times, who declared: “There are no winners in this, beyond the pumped up vanity of certain FA council members.” Why, it was almost as if this was a complex issue about which no single, simple conclusion can be drawn – or at least about which a variety of single, simple conclusions can simultaneously be drawn, each with absolute certainty and conviction.
The Football Foundation, which would have helped to spend the Khan windfall, was also unhappy the deal fell through. “This would have been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make inroads into the most pressing issue facing football,” it said. The Fiver has checked this, and we think he means José Mourinho’s relationship with Paul Pogba. It also said the collapse of the Wembley deal will force millions of amateur players “to put up with a stock of community football facilities that is in a shameful state”.
Where could the game possibly find the money it needs to make these facilities vaguely adequate? Gary Neville and the Football Supporters’ Federation are behind a levy on fees for those of a 15% nature. The former FA chairman, David Bernstein, says the cash-rich English top flight should foot the bill – “a Premier League tax, if you like”. Shadow sports minister Rosena Allin-Khan called on the government to “show they take this matter seriously as the long-term effects will be felt for decades to come”. As, indeed, long-term effects often are. Martin Glenn, current chief suit of the FA, was asked about all these suggestions. “Good luck,” he said, “with that.”
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Because I’m good” – amid growing calls for his reign as Republic O’Ireland manager to be terminated and dwindling numbers of fans paying to attend home matches, Martin O’Neill explains why he’s the right man to lead the team to Euro 2020. “It’s a challenge I’m up for,” he tooted. “I’ll be ready and we’ll go through. Simple as that.”
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FIVER LETTERS
“Hats off to serial chainsmoker and one-time golden boy, Wayne Rooney, who continues to prove his doubters wrong by unleashing a rasper of a free-kick into the top corner from 30 yards for DC United. The result now leaves DC, bottom of the Eastern Conference when he joined, just four points clear of Montreal Impact as they joust for a post-season play-off place. My knowledge of MLS is limited, but from my calculations, I think they only need another nine points from their next four matches to guarantee that they qualify for a title shot in the steel cage match at Wrestlemania” – Johnny Connelly.
“Like Usain Bolt, I too have turned down the opportunity to play in the Maltese top flight (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). I was on holiday there a few years back and got talking to a guy who claimed to be the president of Qormi FC. I was understandably dubious and turned down a back-of-a-napkin contract offer, but then he disappeared and came back with some kit as a gift. Now, this wasn’t the kind of place to have a club shop and even if it did, why would you buy some random a shirt just to continue with what would be a frankly bizarre deceit? Alas, the moment had gone and my dream of being in Football Manager now looks unlikely to be realised” – Jim Hearson.
“The description of the recent round of Nations League action as ‘League X, Group π, Matchday x^2-10x+25+y^2-20y+100 fixture’ (yesterday’s Fiver) contains one half of the equation of a circle (x — 5)² + (y — 10)². The other part, the radius, is missing. A perfect metaphor for The Fiver’s half-baked attempts at humour” – Emmanuel Dairo.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is … Johnny Connelly, who gets a copy Ian Plenderleith’s The Quiet Fan. We’ve more to give away, so keep scribbling.
BITS AND BOBS
Chelsea claimed a 1-0 Women’s Big Cup last-16 win over Fiorentina in their first leg, but Glasgow City got a 5-0 gubbing in Barcelona.
Unai Emery expects Aaron Ramsey to keep his performances up while his contract runs down. “The future is tomorrow, not more,” he babbled. “Individual things are not for now.”
Life at Manchester United under José Mourinho has been so enjoyable for Luke Shaw that he’s signed a new contract until 2023.
Rubin Kazan will be banned from European competition for one season if they qualify in the next two years after breaching FFP rules.
Middlesbrough boss Tony Pulis has written to Football League suits over the way it allocates live TV games, before Friday’s Championship date with Sheffield Wednesday. “I think [they] have had one player away, we’ve had 10,” he sobbed of the international break. “I’ve put a letter in and I think they understand where we’re coming from.”
And the campaign that saw the Vanarama National League temporarily rebranded as the MANarama National League raised £150,000 for Prostate Cancer UK.
STILL WANT MORE?
The 10 most improved Premier League players, according to Martin Laurence’s data charts.
Proper Journalism’s David Conn on Blackpool, a Kyrgyzstan money-laundering conviction and the club’s non-takeover.
He also explains why the Premier League needs to dig behind its sofa for some extra coin after Wembley’s failed sale.
Eni Aluko on the value of fearlessness.
Burnley’s Ben Mee gets his chat on with Dominic Fifield.
Online aggression skews the debate over West Ham’s suspended youth coach, writes Jacob Steinberg.
A Peter Brackley tribute and more in Classic YouTube.
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