THAT FRIDAY FEELING
While flamboyant, bespectacled piano-thumping crooner Reginald Kenneth Dwight has long espoused that Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting), recent events at Leckwith Road suggested that Friday night is an equally good time for a good bust-up. Following the conclusion of the top-of-the-table Championship clash in which Wolves beat Cardiff City by the only goal of the game, fans and TV viewers were treated to the cockle-warming sight of home manager Neil Warnock repeatedly telling his opposite number Nuno Espírito Santo to “Eff off!” in the strongest possible terms, as the bashful Wolves boss traipsed, paw outstretched in a belated-and-futile attempt to shake his counterpart’s hand after – and crucially not before – joining in the wild post-match celebrations of his players.
Warnock’s mood had already been blackened by the sight of his team squandering not one but two chances to score from the penalty spot in added time, a state of affairs that ultimately leaves them still flying high in the Championship’s automatic promotion places but now only two points clear of Fulham, chasing the Welsh club down with all the relentless fervour of a cyborg sent from the future. “In British football, you shake the manager’s hand afterwards,” said Warnock, a man fabled for his ability to start rows with his own reflection in the shaving mirror. “I just thought it showed a lack of class, if I’m honest. So he can please himself. I went to shake his hand and he ran off – that’s what he did. If that’s how they’re taught in Portugal, fair enough. But not in Britain.”
While apologetic that he had let his emotions get the better of him on a night of the very highest drama, Nuno was quick to dismiss any suggestion that he is little more than an ill-mannered “foreign”, coming over here to take our Championship titles, even if he has previous in the field of not shaking hands with Tony Pulis. “I said publicly, if Warnock wants to attend me in my office, I will say these exact words – I am sorry, Neil,” he told the Mirror. “I am sorry, Tony Pulis. I came to Britain and I will try to adapt. But don’t ever, ever say that I’m not a respectful person.”
Somewhat remarkably, events in Cardiff were far from the most bad-tempered to take place “late doors” on a football pitch in the UK or Ireland on Friday. Over in O’Ireland, the players and backroom staff of Waterford and Cork City stole Neil and Nuno’s thunder when their top-flight match ended in even more comically dramatic scenes. Trailing 2-1 and awarded a throw-in in added time, Cork City got miffed when Waterford refused to return the ball. The upshot? A sideline stramash that resulted in six red cards. Only two went to players who were still on the field but there were also reds for one unused substitute, a player who had been on the field but had since adjourned to the bench and both managers. Alan Reynolds, John Caulfield, Bastian Hery, Stanley Aborah, Garry Buckley and Steven Beattie: take a bow as well as your slightly early baths.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It isn’t like I wanted to miss. I just couldn’t stretch enough to get there” – nice try Danny Welbeck, who in missing a sitter against Southampton, apparently stretched so far that he used his shin rather than his foot to send the ball over the bar from two yards out.
THE FIVEЯ
It’s our not-singing, not-dancing Ethics World Cup Fiver. Out every Thursday lunchtime BST.
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FIVER LETTERS
“I poured myself a very large G&T to celebrate United’s miraculous comeback in the derby. How big? Well, it’s probably the only quadruple I’ll see this year!” – Declan Houton.
“Re Will Unwin’s recounting of Jamie Pollock’s Golden Own Goal (Friday’s Fiver). The own goal did indeed condemn Manchester City to relegation to the third tier for the first time, but it also kept QPR up. As a result, QPR fans thanked him by voting him the “most influential man of the past 2,000 years” in an internet poll, where Jesus came second, and Marx came third” – Thomas Burke.
“I’ve just watched the Everton v Liverpool derby, followed by the obligatory after match player interviews. Is it just me or have the players been so brutally mediafied that ever sentence they utter is duller than every sentence before? I think what they should do is hire two comedians from whichever town is hosting the game, dress them in the opposing kits and have them do five minutes each instead of the players in the aftermatch interview. Today for example it could have been John Bishop and Ken Dodd. I know Ken has passed away but truthfully he’d still have done a better job” – Marten Allen.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Marten ‘Mad Dog’ Allen.
THE RECAP
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BITS AND BOBS
Pep Guardiola says Manchester City need to play the “perfect game” in their Big Cup second leg tomorrow at home to Liverpool. “We have to score the first one, then make the second one,” he gushed, forgetting that they’d also have to score the third one.
“I swear on my daughter’s life that I touched the ball” – Harry Kane is gutted that Christian Eriksen was awarded Spurs’ second goal against Stoke but still thinks he can overhaul Mo Salah for the Big Golden Boot of Goalscoring Goals.
Ander Herrera has denied spitting intentionally on the Manchester City crest as the midfielder left the pitch at half-time during the Manchester derby. “Ander has seen the footage of the incident and is mortified at any suggestion that his actions were deliberate,” pleaded a United suit.
Phil Neville wants England’s Lionesses to dominate Europe at club level, with Chelsea and Manchester City both in the Big Cup semi-finals. “It wouldn’t surprise me if we have an all-England final,” Phil mused.
Fernando Torres plans to leave Atlético Madrid when his contract expires at the end of the season. “I accept that I’m not having much of a role, so perhaps this is the moment to step aside for others,” he cried.
STILL WANT MORE?
A Marko Arnautovic love-in and a picture of Sean Dyche shouting feature in this week’s PREMIER LEAGUE 10 THINGS.
Romelu Lukaku still has time to lose his ‘big-game bottler’ tag, says Sean Ingle.
Barney Ronay on Ray Wilkins’s sendoff at Stamford Bridge.
Levante have a childhood season ticket holder to thank for a late surge that has dropped their La Liga rivals off the edge of a clifff. Sid Lowe has the story.
Rennes were attacked as greedy when they did not reinvest the Ousmane Dembélé money, say Adam White and Eric Devin, but a new manager has changed everything.
Fiorentina have harnessed the sadness they felt when their captain Davide Astori died and won five on the bounce, reports Paolo Bandini.
Sam Allardyce’s tactics suggest either a lack of quality, a surfeit of timidity or both. Richard Jolly has more.
Ben Fisher on Bayern’s latest Bundesliga title, and what it means for Jupp Heynckes.
Rumours! Get ya rumours!
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