The Cleveland Browns are bad. They are very bad. They hover pitifully at the bottom of the uninspiring AFC North with an 0-11 record, and it doesn’t take much imagination to see them going 0-16 this season. Were it not for the Cavaliers’ NBA title and the Indians’ near world championship, the Browns’ misfortune would be chronicled in headlines that prominently include the words “Cleveland” and “woebegone,” “hapless” or “misfortune.”
On Sunday, as if to show how bad they really are, in a 24-9 loss to Pittsburgh, the Browns gave up eight sacks, lost one quarterback (more on that later) and couldn’t manage a touchdown even when they had a first down just inches from the goalline.
And yet this year’s Browns, as bad as they are, won’t be the worst team in NFL history. Not even close. For Cleveland can still run a functional offense at times. They can score points on occasion and they’ve even come close to winning two games this fall – although one of those was against the Jets.
The 2016 Browns will never be as bad as the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They will always have that.
The ‘76 Bucs were dreadful. They didn’t score a point until the season’s third game and then after a 17-point uprising in week four, they were shut out again the following week. In fact, they went scoreless in five of their games that year. Unsurprisingly, they were 0-14 and would have easily been 0-16 had the NFL played 16-game seasons back then. Things were so bad, their coach, John McKay, joked: “We can’t win at home and we can’t win on the road; what we need is a neutral site.” Unfortunately for the Bucs there were no international games in 1976 and they were left to be as awful as they could be.
But at least the Bucs had the excuse of being an expansion team. Three years later they were in the NFC Championship Game.
The Browns might not even be as bad as the 2008 Detroit Lions, who are the NFL’s only 0-16 team. They gave up 517 points that year, which was the second-worst total in league history. Cleveland’s defense is not very good but they’ve managed to hold opponents to just under 30 points a game, meaning they won’t be as awful as the 2008 Lions or even the 1981 Baltimore Colts who allowed 533 points. Those Colts won their first and last games but lost the 14 in between which, come to think of it, is better than the Browns are doing right now.
Still, the chances are that history won’t frown on these Browns as much as it does on the 1990 New England Patriots who had the NFL’s worst offense and second worst defense. That team managed to pull out a two-point victory (which was swiftly followed by a sexual harassment scandal) and finished 1-15. It was a miserable enough season that a move to St Louis seemed to be imminent until a local businessman named Robert Kraft stepped in to save the franchise.
The Browns aren’t leaving Cleveland. They’ve already done that to their loyal and eternally-patient fans. But ever since the expansion Browns arrived in 1999, they’ve done everything they can to break hearts. Going 0-16 would set a new low ... even if it isn’t the lowest the NFL has ever seen.
Quote of the week
“It’s bullcrap. We can’t keep doing this and we can’t keep letting our guys get hit.”
Yes, it was a bad day for the Browns. One made worse when their rookie quarterback, Cody Kessler, who was supposed to be a reason for Cleveland fans to hope, appeared to have suffered his second concussion this season when he was knocked to the ground by Pittsburgh’s Lawrence Timmons. That outraged the Browns other hope this year: receiver Terrelle Pryor. After the game, Pryor went off to reporters about the team’s offensive line, which has turned the team’s quarterback position into a turnstile.
There’s a decent chance Kessler will miss the season, meaning he will avoid the disaster the Browns campaign has become. Pryor, who has 51 catches for 627 yards this year and four touchdowns, has the right to criticize his team-mates. He has performed. He also has revived his career and is a free agent at season’s end – meaning he will probably escape the mess soon enough.
Gif of the week
Vikings Linval Joseph absolutely destroys Fox sound guy during pregame intros https://t.co/4C3Afhj3tU
— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) November 20, 2016
The worst part about this is collision is you can see it happening. Everyone in the stadium can see it happening. Everyone but this poor network sound technician and the Minnesota Vikings who trampled him.
Stat of the week
12. The number of missed extra points on Sunday, breaking the previous record of 10. After much debate about the usefulness of the extra point, the NFL moved the spot from which it would be kicked from the two to the 15. The idea was that by moving the kick back, extra points would be more exciting and the league would be more exciting too. Now, in Week 11 of the most unpopular NFL season in recent memory, we get overwhelmed by kicking imperfection.
Certainly, it was windy in some NFL stadiums on Sunday. Especially New Jersey’s Met Life Stadium where New York’s Robbie Gould missed two extra points and Chicago’s Connor Barth failed on one attempt. Cincinnati’s Mike Nugent could blame the cold for his two misses. New England’s Stephen Gostkowski and San Francisco’s Phil Dawson could say it was the rain in Santa Clara that prompted their misses. But Jacksonville’s Jason Myers and Minnesota’s Kai Forbath missed indoors. At least Seattle’s Steven Hauschka and Detroit’s Matt Prater can say their attempts were blocked … As if that justifies everything.
Fantasy player of the week
There was a time, earlier this year, when Dak Prescott was seen as a fragile placeholder for Tony Romo in the Cowboys offense. Though Dallas’s coaches seemed happy with the rookie’s training camp, he wasn’t supposed to actually lead the Cowboys to the playoffs. His first few games as the team’s starter reflected that as he played carefully and conservatively, trying not to make many mistakes. Now that the team is officially his, he has been given more and more freedom. Sunday he completed 27-of-36 passes for 301 and three touchdowns against no interceptions. It was his second straight 300-yard passing game. More importantly, he has 14 touchdowns and only two interceptions for the 9-1 Cowboys.
Oh, and he picks up his litter.
Shame on you for not choosing him when you had the chance on draft night.
Elsewhere around the league
– The Vikings ended their four-game losing streak with two length-of-the-field returns to beat Arizona 30-24. Xavier Rhodes picked off a Carson Palmer pass at the goal line and ran 100 yards for a second quarter touchdown. Then in the fourth quarter, Cordarrelle Patterson took a kickoff 104 yards for a score.
– Kansas City lost a costly game they probably did not expect to drop when they went down 19-17 at home to Tampa Bay. Bucs quarterback Jameis Winson has been responsible for a touchdown in every one of his 26 NFL games. On Sunday, he threw for 331 yards and a touchdown.
– The New York Giants won a game they needed to keep up with Dallas when the out-fought the Bears 22-16 at the Meadowlands. After a flat start, the Giants defense overwhelmed Chicago and quarterback Jay Cutler in the second half. Cutler’s last-chance desperation pass was intercepted ending another disappointing game for him. Eli Manning threw for two touchdowns.
– Indianapolis beat Tennessee for the 11th straight time as Andrew Luck threw for 262 yards and two touchdowns. It was a game the Colts desperately needed to win to move to 5-5, tying them with the Titans for second in the AFC South and putting them closer to the 6-3 Houston Texans who play in Mexico City on Monday night.
– Detroit continue to surprise, winning for the fifth time in six games and moving to 6-4 with a 26-19 victory over Jacksonville. Matthew Stafford continued his strong run with 278 yards passing. The Lions also returned a punt and interception for touchdowns.
– Russell Wilson became the first quarterback in Seahawks history to catch a touchdown pass when receiver Doug Baldwin hit him with a 15-yard scoring throw in Seattle’s 26-15 win over the Eagles.
- Miami scored two touchdowns in the final two minutes to ruin Jared Goff’s first NFL start as the Dolphins beat the Rams 14-10. Goff, the top pick in last spring’s draft, was 17-of-31 for 134 yards and no touchdowns or interceptions on a rainy afternoon in Los Angeles.
- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady played near his San Francisco Bay area home for the first time in his pro career and threw four touchdowns in the rain as New England beat the 49ers 30-17.
