Well I am being uber-careful but there are SO many secrets around that it is quite hard to keep track, Oik says to forget the Black & White Ball even happened, especially the peerage raffle & I think it is still secret about Chope and Bone, because Bone has not told Mrs Bone they are in love yet & it is deffo a total secret about my shop party because of the whole not-being-allowed-to-capitalise thing? I mean Craig was literally going I beg you, if Dave could just be papped there with a model, though a Beckham would be even better, we were thinking Romeo, I'm like, Craig, I wish I dared but even hipsters buy luxury handbags & pretend they are ironic or a homarj to old school craftsmanship? He's like, please, have you seen the polls, I'm like, no offence but in two years the Conservatives may have unfort disappeared – I guess you could try something like veg boxes – but Smythson is an expanding global heritage brand and tbh we cannot take the reputational risk of contamination by one of the world's most toxic names, have you forgotten about Cherie Blair and Burberry?
So the party was seriously amaze, we had like these interns you could actually SIT on, tray Gatsby & the entire theme was "bags", non-swank my idea, everyone was going OMG it is like something out of Truman Patootie, then there is this shouting, the doormen are like, couple of liggers shall we eject, I'm like *sigh* let them in but make him do up his shirt & do not let her out of your sight? So as soon as Mr Blair is inside he undoes his top four buttons *gags* & she starts running round with this massive VB tote & we notice one of the interns is missing so security is already flat out when Tracey Emin just like saunters in? I go, I have no wish to make a scene, but disloyalty, much, Govey will never forgive you, you do know we have replaced your neon with one of Nancy's pastels? She's like fine, bring me a large crocodile leather tote with shagreen hardware, I'm like, Madam, permit me to congratulate you on your choice, that will be exactly £18,000.00 :)
