An awful lot is being made of what is on the bookshelves behind people who broadcast or are interviewed in their homes. Thankfully, mine are at a right angle to the computer so you cannot see any of the titles. In fact, until adjustments were made, it looked as though the shelves were completely empty, which was rather shaming. The books had to be pulled forward, to make it clear they existed, without compromising their anonymity.
I was keen to have a nod to my football team, West Bromwich Albion, in the back of shot. A scarf seemed a bit naff, and my treasured West Brom gnome just too odd. I even considered a jigsaw puzzle of the face of one of our greatest ever players, Tony “Bomber” Brown. Unfortunately Bomber, as gentle a man as you could ever meet, looks like a serial killer in this particular picture.
I expect some interior designer has already set themselves up as a Zoom background consultant or some such, to advise us on how best to project our personal brands. Appropriate books could be delivered by the yard, by men in masks, to create just the right look. In the end, I just went with what was there, so all you could see in the background was a strange yellow filing cabinet. I cannot remember when I got it, or why, and I have been wanting rid of it for years. Blow me down if this thing didn’t get rave reviews on both sides of the Atlantic. I am close to getting a bidding war going. This gave me an idea. In future appearances, look out for all manner of other stuff I need shot of, complete with price tags: bunk beds (£250 ono); old bike (£50); spiralizer (any offer considered).
• Adrian Chiles is a Guardian columnist
