Dealing with a break up is something most adults have been through at some point in their lives.
No matter if it's the first time or the last time, the brutal job of ending things with someone is never easy. Rejection is also hard to handle for some as people just can't accept that they're not everyone's cup of tea.
An expert psychologist has shared her best advice for dumping someone - and how to handle rejection if you're on the other foot, reported The Mirror. Clinical psychologist Michelle Pal says social media has "highlighted" our sense of rejection - be it someone taking a long time to reply to a text, or a potential partner un-matching you on a dating app.
The expert also revealed those who are using dating apps such as Hinge, Bumble and Tinder are likely to have to reject someone at some point. And the process can be incredibly anxiety-inducing. Michelle told Fashion Journal: "Anybody with at least some level of healthy empathy will feel a little anxiety when rejecting others because it is hard to see someone else in pain."
She said some might experience anxiety so great about having to reject someone else that it could interfere with your daily life, or force you to keep the relationship going for longer than you should. Michelle claims these types of people "may have too much empathy, lack assertiveness skills or healthy boundaries, or be 'personalising' and taking on too much responsibility for the other person's emotions".
The professional added that she has met many women who have been riddled with anxiety when dumping a man - but also some who find it difficult to set boundaries. She believes this issue comes from women being socialised to be "nurturing, kind and empathetic" as we've been taught to be nice and care about other people's feelings - but this can be an "emotional burden".
Michelle's key piece of advice to handling rejection is to remind ourselves "it has and always will be a normal part of everyday life for all of us – we will give rejections and we will be rejected". She said: "Let go of any conditioning to be 'too nice' and overly responsible for others' emotions by reminding yourself that you are not doing anything wrong and every human has the right to choose the right person for them and this will inevitably lead to rejecting others at times, and you can’t be responsible for how they feel or react to that rejection."
She added: "It's also really helpful to remember that rejecting someone is doing them a favour in the long-term as it gives them the opportunity to go and find someone who is a better match for them and who might like them a lot more than what you liked them."
For if they don't handle it well, she said: "Set any boundaries that you need to – for example, you can tell the person that you wish to keep the peace and don't want to be yelled at or offended and that if it continues you will need to block them. But if the person is showing signs of stalking, harassment or violence please call the police, consider an AVO, or call your local free DV helpline."
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