The best of the Ashes action on day one of the first Test

Postpone the weddings. Cancel the holiday. Sack off that Bergerac boxset marathon. Stop football. For the next 47 days - or 12 if Australia go 2-0 up after two Tests - you are only going to have time for one thing: a little thing I like to call The Ashes. Whether you're at work, at home or in the OBOers' local, the Black Dog & Duck, there will only be one thing you'll want to talk about, and for once it won't be yourself. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

The first day of most gala Test series is like the first hour of a first date: cagey and guarded as each party works the other out and subconsciously evaluates precisely how they are going to inflict untold misery on them in the future. But with the Ashes in recent times the first day has been more like a hapless fumble on the floor of the disabled toilets before the first gin has found its way home. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

England win the toss and will bat first Hurrah! 1-0 England! In your face Tim Nielsen! The Ashes are coming home! It's an important toss for England to win, having decided to play two spinners. I'm also happy that England are batting. If they had bowled, we might have had to endure Australia smacking 300 for not many (see 1994-95 and 2002-03). At least if England are rolled for under 200 (see 2001 and 2005), it'll be an endearing farce rather than six hours of crushing misery. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

I make Australia very strong favourites for this series, but that should be qualified by the fact that I predicted 5-0 in 2005. To me, it comes down to this: could you envisage this Australia side losing a series in the Caribbean? And could you envisage this England side winning a Test series in South Africa? No and no. Done and done. I hope I'm wrong, and usually am, but I just can't see what this England side have done to deserve this optimism. Australia to win by two Tests. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

Ravi Bopara does finally get off the mark, but very streakily, with an inside-edge to fine leg as he reached nervously for a short one from Siddle. Ponting shows his dismay. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

Simon Katich tries in vain to run out Bopara. Not this time, mate. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

This has a little of the feel of the first day of the 1989 series, which Australia ended on 207 for three after 90 overs. Magnificent, old-school Test cricket that had me purring like a kitten and, by the close, sleeping like a baby. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

There has been no noticeable sledging; at this stage Siddle's menace has been largely unspoken, like a larrikin take on Andy Roberts. Strauss does really well to turn a leg-stump yorker off his pads for four. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

The England players voice their support on the home balcony. Nervous times. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

What an over from Mitchell Johnson! Four balls in a row were superb and culminated in the big wicket of the captain: the first was a leg-stump yorker to Strauss that should have been given LBW; the second was a bouncer that hit Bopara; the third was a slower ball that Bopara, duped completely, drove just over mid-off; and the fourth was a vicious bouncer that followed Strauss, took the glove and looped gently to Clarke in the slips. That is modern fast bowling of the very highest quality Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

The Aussies appeal en masse for the wicket of Pietersen, but their shouts are rejected. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

Bopara was lucky to escape Johnson's slower ball 20 minutes ago; he doesn't get away with it this time, going through an attempted drive way too early and looping the simplest of catches to point. It's easy to criticise Bopara, and that was a curate's egg of an innings to say the least, but it's wonderful, modern fast bowling from a man who isn't making it swing and has cut his cloth accordingly, getting two wickets in three overs as a result. The Ashes aren't coming home. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

KP drops to one knee and sweeps two runs from the first ball. That looked premeditated to me. And then again, Pietersen squats and sweeps, this time in the air. Hauritz is making the ball turn here, and turn quite a lot too. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

That delivery was oh so close to bowling Pietersen behind his legs as he shuffled across his stumps and tried to sweep the ball away square... Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

... and boy don't they know it. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

Ponting has a long stare at the ball, holding it out at arm's length after fielding a flat, wide delivery from Johnson that sailed harmlessly by off stump. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins

What a pair of sessions these have been. England's response to their travails of the morning has been marvellous. Mindful that the game has slipped away a little, Ponting brings back Peter Siddle to see if he can force a breakthrough. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/Tom Jenkins