Everywhere you look right now, the election is hovering right there in the distance, like one of those creepy clowns trying to lure children into the woods with candy. It’s all over the news, our social media, and even our Halloween costumes. The cultural obsession with the presidency even bleeds into our television shows.
This fall we’ve already seen the introduction of a new president on Designated Survivor, and this Sunday we get another one on Graves. On that comedy (the first two episodes are available for free on YouTube), Nick Nolte plays a George W Bush-esque ex-president who realizes that he was, perhaps, the worst president ever and tries to remake his legacy with a bunch of crazy and charitable acts.
But these two new additions aren’t the tube’s only fictional commanders-in-chief. Here are some of the greatest current and past reigning leaders of the free world and how their administrations stack up in the popular imagination.
Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen), The West Wing
Still the gold standard of television politicians, this liberal from New Hampshire is sort of like the virtuous Bill Clinton that blue state America always wanted. Sure, his administration was plagued with scandal, assassination attempts and his daughter’s abduction, but when it came down to policy decisions, he always made the tough calls and did them for the most high-minded reasons. If America could actually elect a fictional character, it would be this one. Approval rating: 100%
David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert), 24
Of course television had its first black president before the nation had its own, but from the very first hour of this action show, Palmer’s life was in danger because of it. You would think that people suspected he wasn’t born in this country or something. While he always managed to escape with the help of Jack Bauer, he eventually quit his re-election campaign and let a Republican become president. It was a fatal mistake, because that man’s vice-president would eventually conspire to kill Palmer. Oh, and his personal life was a mess between his scheming wife, his chief of staff brother, and a lover whose scandal nearly derailed his campaign. Approval rating: 40%
Conrad Dalton (Keith Carradine), Madam Secretary
The worst part about Dalton, honestly, is his collection of bowties. The bowtie is the affectation for hipsters, barbershop quartet singers and television pundits, not the leader of the free world. Still, this former head of the CIA is a good boss for Elizabeth McCord (Téa Leoni) and likes her so much that he offered to make her vice-president. Wait, isn’t this called Madam Secretary? Approval rating: 50%
Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey), House of Cards
It was a strange journey for Francis to go from a representative from South Carolina to the White House, and it was one fraught with peril. Since taking office, he was plagued with trouble both inside the country (like his failed America Works program) and outside (like his troubles with Russia and China). The electorate seems to hate him, and they don’t even know about the multiple murders he has on his hands. Approval rating: 20%
Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn), Scandal
This dude invaded a foreign country so that he could save his mistress. We’re still living with the fallout from Clinton misbehaving during his tenure, can you only imagine what would happen if he had chosen Monica Lewinsky over Hillary Clinton and also invaded the Czech Republic or some other nation to save her? Sure, he’s a hunk and great for drama, but his administration is an absolute nightmare. Approval rating: 10%
Mackenzie Allen (Geena Davis), Commander in Chief
Of course television gave us our first female president while the nation still hasn’t had one (hopefully for not much longer). Even television wasn’t ready to elect her. She was a vice-president who took the Oval Office after her predecessor died. Stuck with an administration that didn’t want her and a show plagued with behind-the-scenes turmoil, Allen didn’t even get to finish serving out her first term when the show was cancelled after one season. Approval rating: 20%
Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Veep
Like Mackenzie Allen before her, this female president found herself in power after the president stepped down. Just as this bumbling, self-obsessed politician was ill-equipped for VP, she was equally ill-equipped to be president. Luckily, her term only lasted eight months. During her re-election campaign, Meyer found herself in an unprecedented electoral college tie, which eventually led to, through a series of hilarious coincidences, her being ousted from office entirely. She may be a total screw-up, but at least she’s our total screw-up. Approval rating: 90% (but really 0%)
Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones), 24
This long-running show had many presidents both good and bad, but none were as idealistic as Taylor. Eventually she was drawn on to the dark side by the show’s worst president, Charles Logan, who convinced her to have Jack Bauer killed to cover up their involvement in the assassination of a diplomatic official. It wasn’t all bad, though – Jones won an Emmy for her portrayal, and a place in fans’ hearts. Approval rating: 40%
Tom Kirkman (Kiefer Sutherland), Designated Survivor
It’s still too early to tell just how this former secretary of housing and urban development is going to do as the head of the executive branch. Suddenly foisted into power when every federal official is killed in a terrorist bombing of the Capitol during the State of the Union address, Kirkman is definitely underqualified but the show naturally leads us to believe that he has what it takes to lead the country out of a time of turmoil. Approval rating: 60%
Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell), Battlestar Galactica
Sure, she was the president of Caprica and not the United States, but she is still one of the best executives on television. Leading a bunch of star ships after their home was destroyed by the mechanical Cylons, this former secretary of education made many missteps during her early days in office but eventually grew into a skilled and principled leader who never let the survivors of Caprica forget their humanity. Approval rating: 70%
Marcus Robbins (Mark Cuban), Sharknado 3
Yes, it was only a cameo, but if we’re going to have one reality television billionaire in the White House, I would much rather prefer that it were this guy. Approval rating: 50%
