The revulsion over the Kathua and Unnao rape cases was fresh in the minds of people when another instance of ugly Indian male chauvinism came to the fore.
Commenting on Shwetambari Sharma, one of the investigating officers in the Kathua case, Ankur Sharma, the lawyer of the accused, said: “Shwetambari kya hai? Ladki hai. Uska kitna hi dimaag hoga?” (Shwetambari is a girl after all, how intelligent can she possibly be?)
Interesting, isn’t it? The sentence, laughable (well, exasperatingly), deserves a deconstruction.
She is a girl. How intelligent can she be?
If we think from the point of view of the lawyer, he was not being discourteous at all. He was just regurgitating the prevalent gender prejudice which has existed for centuries. His words dramatically indict the gender bias which exists in the world, one which sustains, fosters and encourages condescension of women in society.
I am pretty sure that quite a few readers of this article have already labelled me ‘The Feminist Type’ in their minds, which, to be honest, is a compliment to me. So, thank you.
As a 25-year-old working woman, I get mansplained every day. Recently, on being unable to catch a randomly thrown ball, I was told that “I play like a woman”. I scowled at the person. And the comment that followed was: “Oh, here comes the feminist glare.”
My reason for quoting this recent instance is to point at the person and his ilk. He, in his mind, probably said the right thing because he knows no better. He and many others like him have created a superficial aura about themselves, an aura which exudes modern ways of living and thinking. However, their insides stink of bigotry and blatant gender prejudices.
Starting as a fairly ignorant journalism student from a prominent woman’s college in Delhi, I clearly had no idea what the word feminism meant. To me, “feminism” was an ideology equated with radicalness; it conjured up the image of men-hating women who burnt bras in protest. I speak for quite a few people who perceived feminism in that light. It is probably because of these grossly incorrect stereotypes that feminists around the world get a bad name.
If the Kathua and Unnao rape cases do not disturb us, then, maybe, we are deplorable as a society. The question I raise here is who is talking about the Kathua victim?
The pain of the girl and her family seems to have been drowned among voices that have tried their best to politicise and give a religious colour to the issue.
After a 15-page chargesheet and about three months of investigation, we are still doing nothing but politicising the murder of the eight-year-old. Hindu men rape Muslim women, Muslim men rape Hindu women, Muslim men rape Muslim women and Hindu men rape Hindu women. Had the Kathua victim been a Hindu girl, possibly those men would have kidnapped, raped and murdered her in the same way.
The baffling concoction of religious animosity, gender violence, party-based politics and “nationalism” has diluted the human element in this tragic incident. I feel frustrated about the society we have created for our young ones. Every day, the lives of so many women are shattered in a similar way, yet we are sitting in positions of privilege unable to do anything except feel bad about it.
Can we do anything? Yes, we can.
It has to start with us becoming, as well as making our future generations, gender-sensitive. Before we do that, we need to introspect whether we have achieved gender-equal relationships. Children absorb what they observe. We need to be mindful of our words and actions. We need to teach them the art of questioning. Today, we are not questioning enough.
When individuals learn to question gender discrimination at home is when they will question it outside the confines of their homes. Young boys and girls need to protect each other from the gross stereotyping that takes place in their lives.
We aren’t questioning why rape is being used as an instrument to threaten the unprivileged communities. We are not taking enough steps to put a stop to the use of sexual violence as a political tool to force submission. We are not giving back to casual sexist comments directed towards women at work and in homes, and probably aren’t teaching our young boys and girls to be kinder, gentler and mindful of their words and actions.
Blaming politicians is pointless. Blaming ourselves for our rigid mindsets and thorough introspection thereafter is more likely to produce some much-needed change.
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