The Barbra Streisand Collection up for auction

Ms Barbra Streisand cordially invites you to a private view of 'The Barbra Streisand Collection'. Ms Streisand requests that you kindly refrain from thumbing the merchandise. Please note that all proceeds from 'The Barbra Streisand Collection' auction go direct to the Streisand Foundation. No thumbing the merchandise! Photograph: Evan Agostini/AP

Exhibit one is a wicker doll carriage containing a teddy bear. The teddy bear was once owned by a certain Ms Barbra Streisand, and was presumably a favoured childhood toy and perhaps a symbol of lost innocence, like Rosebud was to Citizen Kane. The teddy bear may (or may not) go by the name of Stinky Stu Photograph: Fred Prouser/Reuters

Exhibit two is a portrait drawing of Ms Barbra Streisand by the artist Adriano Abatayo. It shows the private Ms Streisand, the Ms Streisand the world rarely gets a chance to see, staring into the future and contemplating her next concert or something Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

Who among us has not, at some stage or other, stood in front of the mirror and actually imagined that we are Ms Barbra Streisand? Now those dreams can come true with your very own Streisand wig and shoes. This picture, incidentally, also shows us what Ms Barbra Streisand might look like if she were suddenly vapourised by a death ray Photograph: Peter Brooker/Rex Features

From wigs to pigs ... or at least one vintage plaster pig, presumably beloved by Ms Barbara Streisand herself, perhaps even adorning the bottom of her bed for many years before being uprooted and dumped here; the result of some ghastly quarrel that Ms Streisand will later come to bitterly regret. The pig may (or may not) be named Oinky Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

What, exactly, does the legend wear when she is kicking back at home alone, with only Oinky for company, and simply does not care just how she looks? At last we know. She wears simple dresses like this one: perfect for when she's eating nachos in front of the Superbowl highlights, or appearing in a movie like Meet the Fockers Photograph: Peter Brooker/Rex Features

When she's through eating nachos, Ms Barbra Streisand may well get the urge to compose a song. On such occasions she will stroll (perhaps with Oinky under one arm) to her baby grand piano. It was on a piano like this (perhaps even this) that she rehearsed The Way We Were, or that one about her being a woman in love Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

Anyone with between $100,000 and $200,000 in their wallet could do worse than shoot the whole lot on this canvas by the Dutch artist Kees van Dongen. It once hung in the home of a certain Ms Barbra Streisand, who is now downsizing her estate and holding the celebrity equivalent of a fire-sale. Everything must go! Even Oinky Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

Now yes, we fully realise that there are some PC types that might call this 'racialist', arguing that it panders to the reductive racial stereotype that impoverished African-American children in Jim Crow-era America liked nothing better than bunking off cotton picking in order to gorge their lazy bellies on a watermelon. Our response to those critics? This particular statue once adorned the home of Ms Barbra Streisand, who once played a leftist radical in The Way We Were. We trust that settles the matter Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

So there we have it. Your own personal private view of 'The Barbra Streisand Collection'. We do hope you have enjoyed yourself and have gained valuable insights into the passions of Ms Barbra Streisand. Move along now, please. You in the red! No handling the merchandise! Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images