Sam Cam: "Oh, let’s face it – we both go home and kiss worse." Photograph: Rupert Hartley/Rex Features
Ed Miliband: "David? David? I can’t watch this. You can have the job. Take it, take it for Christ’s sake man, before my eyes implode." Photograph: Eddie Mulholland/Rex Features
Sam Cam: "OMG! If David gets to kiss her that means I get to kiss … OMG, OMG! Just try and stay cool, Sammy girl! Stay cool!"
Photograph: Rex Features
Brown: "OK, I think I’ve got it now. Grasp arm, lean forward, smile, close eyes, peck. Right, once more with this, Michelle doll, and then I’m good to go." Photograph: Philippe Wojazer/Reuters
Merkel: "Finally the Germans get to make love, not war." Photograph: Charles Dharapak/AP
Putin: "Mostly I crush puppies. But today, just Algerian presidents. Zdravstvujtye, Abdelaziz Bouteflika!" Photograph: Sergei Ilnitsky/AFP/Getty Images
Putin: "I like your beard. I will have one of the Spetsnaz skin you later so I can wear it as ornament befitting great Russian leader. I’m kidding, just kidding! I’m not kidding." Photograph: Dima Korotayev/Epsilon/Getty Images
