It's a beautiful bright and sunny day. Puffs of white cloud are gently scudding across a deep blue sky while a ring of craggy snow-capped peaks frame a shimmering lake. I'm finding it hard to believe I'm still in England such is the drama, serenity and splendour of my surroundings, but this is just the beginning of many such surprises.
First up, there's the time it's taken to reach the picture-perfect Cumbrian town of Keswick – nestled in the heart of the Lake District next to Derwent Water – from the bustling centre of London; three hours with the elegantly comfy Virgin Pendolino service to Penrith then a short 20 minute taxi ride. Then comes my first encounter with the Keswick Adventure Centre.
"We call it Water Walking," says one of Keswick Adventure's directors, Jason O'Rourke, as we gather beside a decidedly cold-looking Derwent Water. "Don't worry," he says, "you won't get wet." Noticing my slightly confused look, Jason explains: "I'll be inflating a giant, see-through plastic ball which you'll climb inside. We'll then push you on to the water and you can run on the spot inside the ball and the ball will move forward, hence Water Walking."
Ten minutes later and I'm inside a giant ball doing a mad cross between a hamster and a breakdancer in the middle of Derwent Water. I fall, slip and plummet in a desperate and mostly failed attempt to achieve forward motion, each potentially painful mistake being gently cushioned by the water. It's as crazy in reality as it looks on paper – and twice as much fun. But the best bit is just lying back on what is essentially a floating waterbed, taking in the gorgeous Lake District views while being towed around by a wader-wearing Jason.
With the Water Walking behind me it's time for something a bit more believable – walking in water. "A ghyll is the Cumbrian word for a mountain stream," says Jason, as we don all manner of waterproof clothing. "Ghyll scrambling is an adventure activity where we walk, climb and sometimes swim our way along a stream." I look up at the snowy peaks, breathe in the cold, fresh mountain air and ruminate on the word "swim". "Don't worry," says Jason, "you'll be warm in that 7mm neoprene wetsuit."
Moments later and I'm sploshing about thigh deep in icy mountain water. "We'll climb round the back of this little waterfall," says Jason, as the freezing cascade ploughs over my head and down the back of my neck, "and then over into that pond." The pond is a neck-deep pool of the coldest-looking water I've ever seen. I plunge in, clamber on to another small waterfall and then scramble out hollering and laughing, adrenaline pumping. "That was very committed," says Jason, with a smirk.
And while the water is cold, and attempting ghyll scrambling on a February morning may seem a touch barking mad, I find the whole thing incredibly invigorating. The city cobwebs are completely blown away and as I climb out of the tunnel at the end of the scramble I feel a real sense of achievement.
An hour later, stuck 150 metres up an ice-clad sheer rock face and the achievement of the ghyll scramble seems like a distant memory. Jason has driven us further into hills to the Honister slate mine – a wild barren spot, flanked by rugged, steep mountains. In years gone by the miners built the beginnings of a via ferrata or "iron road" into the mountainside (it's basically large iron staples hammered into the rock face so the miners could get around by climbing). This has now been developed into a fully functioning visitor attraction, with a giant, solidly bolted-in cable tracing the route of the via ferrata. Visitors then clip themselves on to the secure cable using carabineers – a completely foolproof screw and latch-operated metal clip – and climb along it.
"You're 100% safe," says Jason, as my foot slips and a small piece of ice falls to its shattering doom hundreds of metres below. On one level my brain figures out I am completely secure but on another I feel a tad worried. "Just keep going, as slow as you like and remember to clip in and out one carabineer at a time on to the cable," Jason says. Jason's methodical tactic works and with my fear of heights temporarily overcome I complete this scintillating climb and even manage to enjoy the impressive views for a moment or two in the UK's adventure capital.
With evening heading in, it's back to Keswick and a wonderful warm welcome at the wonderfully warm Howe Keld guesthouse. I have an hour or so before dinner so spread out on the bed, stoke up the giant plasma screen and relax. But it's the long, hot bath that gets the final "ghyll chill" out of my bones, and suitably heated I venture out for dinner.
"Our most popular main course is the steak and kidney pudding," says my friendly waiter at the popular Keswick restaurant Morrels. "It's made with real suet and is the chef's speciality. I'd highly recommend it." A short while later and I can see why. The yummy, warming pudding is the perfect food after a day on the hills, and Morrel's funky, stylish atmosphere makes for a sophisticated backdrop.
The following morning, after a delicious smoked salmon and scrambled eggs at Howe Keld, it's back on the road for my next destination, the Forestry Commission centre at Grizedale. And, once again, I'm in for a big surprise.
"We've only just opened this new visitors' centre," says Hayley Skipper, Grizedale's arts development officer, as we sit down for a coffee. "We've got a great mountain bike centre, hundreds of acres of forest, fantastic walking and cycle routes but what we're really famous for is art."
With a 35-year history of commissioning unique sculpture pieces, Grizedale has long been at the forefront of integrating works of art into a natural environment. "We'll head up into the forest to take a look," says Hayley, as she leads me up a rocky path into a serene canopy of trees.
We pass inventive wooden pieces, a newly commissioned work known as the Boat Race by artist Keith Millwood – a snaking run of metal modelled on the route of the Thames – and a bewitching collection of giant photographs, hung between the trees, called Ghosts in the Wood by Mike Smallcombe. "Our next project is working with the AND Festival, a new cinema and media art festival that questions the normal and champions a different approach," says Hayley.
We set off again and take a short ferry ride over Lake Windermere before eventually arriving at the Cumbrian town of Kendal and the renowned Abbot Hall Art Gallery.
"We focus almost exclusively on British artists," says the head of marketing and publicity, Jeanette Edgar, as she shows me the collection that includes Turners and Constables. "We have works spanning from the 16th century to today, lectures from visiting artists and even commission new works," she adds, as I quietly browse absorbing the evident progression of British painters. With shafts of light dancing across the gallery I feel momentarily transported – high culture and fresh air make for a perfect combination.
My final port of call, the Mason's Arms in the tiny village of Strawberry Bank, is far more traditional than the heady brew of fine art and dramatic landscapes that have dominated my day. Yet, the hearty plate of steak and chips, the warm welcome and the views from my bedroom window are just as uplifting.
But it's my final morning stroll up the nearby hill Gummers Howe that seals the deal. Up here the snowcapped peaks of the Lake District are strung out before me in a vast panorama. It's only the hot and buttery bacon roll I gorge on at the friendly Bowland Bridge Post Office tea house that finally brings me back to earth. And so my weekend ends with a bacon buttie, a quintessential moment of cosy English familiarity which provides a neat counterpoint to all the superlative surprises. Perfect.
Virgin Trains runs daily services to Oxenholme Lake District. Visit virgintrains.com for more details. Whether it's accommodation, things to see or do, places to visit or where to eat, find it and plan it at: golakes.co.uk or golakes.co.uk/mobi
A centre for the arts
Established in 1999, Keswick's celebrated Theatre by the Lake is one of the best small regional theatres in the country. A mixture of touring and in-house productions perform across the range, from serious plays, such as Melvyn Bragg's The Maid of Buttermere, all the way through to light-hearted farce, such as LipService's Move Over Moriarty. The venue hosts film and literature festivals, concerts, lectures, dance and even comedy. The Theatre by the Lake's packed year-round programme should be enough to satisfy the most demanding of culture vultures.
Head to Kendal and Cumbria serves up even more high-quality culture at the Brewery Arts Centre. Hang out in the relaxed environs of the cafe – which also doubles as an art-house cinema – and then move on to the cinema, the dance studio, the theatre/concert venue or even the restaurant. Live Cuban ensembles, blues guitarists, indie and hip-hop all get a showing at the Brewery, meaning that Kendal punches far above its weight in terms of musical performance. In between the live music, take in any one of numerous events and festivals.
Kendal is also the home for the Lakeland Arts Trust and its excellent Abbot Hall Art Gallery (see above). Lakeland also supports the Blackwell Arts and Crafts House set high above Lake Windermere near the village of Bowness-on-Windermere. A stunningly preserved homage to one of the leading architects of the Arts and Crafts movement, Mackay Baillie Scott, Blackwell was completed in 1900 as a holiday home for the wealthy Mancunian Holt family. Filled with original features, such as beautifully tiled William de Morgan fireplaces and the gorgeous peacock frieze in the main hall, Blackwell marks an important point in the development of 20th-century British design and architecture.
