Many of us feel the strain when Christmas comes around. Yes, it’s a season full of cosiness and cheer, but the pressure to have a “perfect Christmas” leaves more than a third of us feeling stressed. When it comes to the festive period, it can feel like there’s an extensive checklist of activities, meals, songs and emotions that all need ticking off if you want to do Christmas “right”. But for some mavericks, bucking the “perfect Christmas” trend and doing what works for them – not what’s expected – has led to some unexpected rewards.
Vicki Psarias, 39, author and mother, has found that focusing on experiences rather than material things can keep stress at bay. “We often go away to avoid hassle. For example, we went to Lapland one year, and we flew to Prague on Christmas Day last year,” she says, adding that it helps to keep stress down as she doesn’t have to prepare anything on the day. Going away does have its drawbacks, however. Her mum, in particular, misses her during these festive trips, so Psarias makes sure to spend some Christmases with her too. When she is celebrating at home, her vegetarian diet keeps stress down as it reduces time spent preparing and cooking food.
Vicki Psarias
Christmas is, typically, a time to spend with family. But when they live on the other side of the world, that’s easier said than done. For Australian-born Marcus Browne, 35, having family abroad has meant taking a different approach to the holidays. “Going back to Australia for Christmas is, for a start, pretty expensive. It also makes it a lot harder to catch up with friends while you’re there, as they’re all busy over that period,” he says.
Instead, he’s found different ways to spend the season: “When I haven’t gone back, I’ve tended to host a big Christmas Day lunch with fellow marooned Australians and friends from different parts of the world. It’s a lot of fun, but I decided to volunteer for charity last year.
“The shelter I volunteered at provided all kinds of support and services, from legal advice to haircuts. The incredible work done by those who were not only willing to give up their time but provide their expertise in all sorts of areas was really an inspiration.”
For some, the cost of buying gifts for every single relative can add to the stress. This was how Bindi Holding, 62, felt, until she decided to swap the traditional rules of gift-giving for a family-wide secret Santa. “We buy only one present, so we have the time and money to think it out carefully,” she says. “The fun part is that they are all wrapped in newspaper, unnamed, and after receiving our gift we all have to guess who bought it.” It’s easy to feel like you’re losing something by ditching a tradition but, as Holding shows, following your own path can create a new sense of fun, while keeping festivities manageable.
If you want to pull out all the stops for Christmas, the key is to find joy in the preparation and let go of any expectations, Stef Bottinelli, 45, says. “While I love things being nice and pretty, we are not the type of people who fret if the dog ‘unwraps’ a gift that doesn’t belong to her. That attitude alone takes a lot of stress away.”
A positive attitude can make the most menial Christmas tasks a treat: “I love preparing some of the food in advance, I see it as a joyful thing to do in the lead-up to Christmas, not as a chore,” she says. “But there’s no point making a big deal if the shops run out of Christmas cake.”
Stef Bottinelli
The centuries of tradition that make up what we view as the ideal Christmas today can feel like a huge weight to carry. Perhaps, instead, it’s better to think of them as a smörgåsbord of options from which you can choose from.
That might still mean going all out; but for those who can separate expectations from what they actually want, it can save a whole lot of time running around like a headless turkey – pun intended.
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