It’s time to end extra innings.
On Friday night, six nights into the first season under new baseball commissioner Rob Manfred, the man who has vowed to speed up the pace of the national pastime, the Red Sox and Yankees played a 6-hour, 49-minute baseball game that ended at 2.13am.
It was not fun. It was not amusing. It was not entertaining. I am a baseball fan and I hate extra innings. I know I’m not the only one.
Sports, perhaps baseball most of all, tantalize us with the possibility that we’ll see something that we’ve never seen before. A perfect game. A 6-4-9-7-2-5-1 double play. A Bartolo Colon triple. But only baseball threatens us with the fear that what we’re watching may never end. There is most definitely too much of a good thing, and Exhibit A is an extra innings baseball game.
Fan reaction to extra innings follows this standard pattern.
10th inning: “OK. One extra inning. Hopefully they’ll make quick work of it and wrap it up here.”
11th inning: “Oh, my. Another inning in the books.”
12th inning: “They’ve played an entire extra third of a baseball game. A whole third! Not going to lie, this is getting pretty long now. Pretty pretty long.”
13th inning: “Oh, come on.”
14th inning: “COME ON!”
15th inning: “Someone please win this game. I don’t care. Please let it stop.”
16th inning: “OK, I’ll watch one more inning in case a position player comes in to pitch.”
17th inning: “This is terrible! Put a position player in already!”
18th inning: “Why am I doing this to myself? I should go to bed or do something else. Anything else.”
19th inning: “My life is a failure.”
Among the biggest issues in baseball in 2015 are: pace of play, making sure the game is entertaining for a younger generation and pitcher injuries. Extra inning games are long, boring and force pitchers to throw far more innings than they should. That’s three strikes. Baseball is supposedly the three-strikes-and-you’re-out sport, no?
So let’s get rid of extra innings. If MLB wants to play one extra inning, or even two extra innings, fine. Go for it. Do your 10th and 11th innings and if the game is still tied after that, it’s a tie. Or settle it NHL shootout-style with a quick home run derby. Just please put these miserably long baseball games out of their misery. We don’t want to watch them and players probably don’t want to play in them. So team records will go from things like 90-72 and 81-81 to 86-70-6 and 79-74-9. Not a problem. We’ll deal with it. We have one-game wild card playoff “series” and All-Star Games deciding World Series home field. We can handle ties. Best of all, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren one day: “When I was your age, I once watched a baseball game that lasted 6 hours and 49 minutes!” To which our grandchildren will hopefully reply: “Wow! That sounds crazy stupid!”
Or we can not get rid of extra innings, tell our grandchildren the same thing in a few decades and they’ll reply: “Uhhhh .. what is base-ball?”
Quote of the week
“In Switzerland, it is illegal to own only one guinea pig, because they are prone to loneliness.” - Bob Costas, quoting Snapple bottle cap facts during the 17th inning of Friday’s Red Sox-Yankees game.
No one loves baseball more than Bob Costas. Chances are he got his infamous pink eye because he burrowed in a little too close while literally kissing the butt of a baseball Hall of Famer. But even Costas got so bored with the Red Sox-Yankees 19 inning epic/disaster that he just started reading stuff printed on nearby objects. When Bob Costas loses interest in baseball, there’s a serious problem. How can the sport hope to get more young people interested if it can’t even keep its most famous child-sized older person?
Stat of the week
12 – Oakland third baseman Brett Lawrie struck out four times Tuesday night against Texas on 12 pitches. If you are a math expert, you may be able to figure out that this is the fewest number of pitches a hitter can see to strike out four times. And if you are a baseball expert, you can determine that this is not an accomplishment.
The hitting punchline Bartolo Colon struck out four times in a game back on 9 August last season, but his K’s came on 13 pitches, two of which were fouled-off bunts. So how bad was Lawrie’s night? So bad that Colon’s worst career game at the plate was better. Yikes.
This week’s horrible fantasy team that’s better than your team
DJ LeMahieu, 2B, Rockies - 12-for-25, 5 RBI
Anthony Gose, OF, Tigers - 9-for-20, HR, 5 RBI
Travis Snider, OF, Orioles - 7-for-18, HR, 6 RBI
Aaron Harang, P, Phillies - 6.1 innings, 1 win, 8 strikeouts, 0.00 ERA
Tommy Milone, P, Twins - 7.2 innings, 1 win, 7 strikeouts, 0.00 ERA
Reader Twitter question of the week
@DJGalloEtc what happens to a pitcher's career after he surrenders a hit to Bartolo Colon?
— B Ryan (@mittensromney8) April 12, 2015
More Bartolo Colon hitting talk in the column already? Yes. There can never be enough.
Colon got his first RBI in a decade Sunday, knocking a run-scoring single to right off of Atlanta starter Eric Wood in the Mets 4-3 win.
Unfortunately, I can’t answer your question about what will happen to Wood’s career, but I do know what fate awaits the Braves. Before Sunday, Colon had 12 career hits in 160 at-bats. Exactly zero of those hits came against a team that went on to win the World Series later that year. So don’t expect the Braves to be hoisting any hardware in late October. (All none of you who were expecting that.)
Phillies-ness of the Week
Throughout the season, this section will commemorate the many mistakes and embarrassments that will befall Ruben Amaro’s sad collection of polyester-clad baseballmen. Sadly, there is not much to put in this section for this week’s edition of the column because the Phillies are 3-3 and sit in second place in the NL East. This is the 2015 doomsday scenario for Phillies fans.
For unknown and possibly insane reasons, Amaro has kept his job as GM over the past two seasons. If his Phillies happen to overachieve this year and pull out a mediocre record of near .500, management will likely think they were wise to keep Amaro, extend his contract and Philly will never be rid of him. Pray for Philadelphia fans. Even they don’t deserve this. Well, maybe they do. But be the better person.
Cubs World Series odds: On the Rise!
If the playoffs started five games into the season, the 3-2 Cubs would grab one of the National League wildcards. Hooray! And with super-prospect Kris Bryant eligible to be called up to the big club as early as Wednesday, the Cubbies would be getting a huge boost to their lineup for their postseason push.
Granted, the playoffs don’t start five games into the season, but dreaming is what Cubs fans do. Dreaming is a great way to pass the time while waiting 30 minutes in line for the bathroom.
A-Rod-ness of the week
Alex Rodriguez is off to a solid start to the season, hitting .278 with one home run and two RBIs to go along with a .350 on-base percentage going into Sunday night’s game with the Red Sox. He also hasn’t accidentally backed over a homeless child in his Ferrari or been spotted burning a Derek Jeter jersey in Central Park or made any sort of off-the-field A-Rod news we expected by now. All that will come in due time. Be patient.
For now, the question is: What kind of numbers does A-Rod have to put up to win American League Comeback Player of the Year? Casey McGehee won the NL version last year after a season in which he hit four home runs, knocked in 76 runs and had a .712 OPS. Barring injury, A-Rod should blow those numbers out of the water. But considering the award is voted on by MLB beat reporters, a breed of human not widely considered to be Rodriguez supporters, A-Rod will need to put up eye-popping numbers that force the writers to vote for him. But if A-Rod puts up eye-popping numbers, the writers won’t vote for him because they’ll assume he’s on steroids again.
Breaking News: Alex Rodriguez will not win the 2015 American League Comeback Player of the Year Award.
Too bad. A lot of people could have been inspired by A-Rod’s speech about never giving up on yourself now matter how many times you’re caught cheating.
10 Things I think I think I think
1) If baseball doesn’t get rid of extra innings, you can always pass the time from innings 10 to 19 and beyond with a good book.
To Kill A Mockingbird. #literatureataballgame pic.twitter.com/1ZwQG4fdFa
— Sean Sublette (@SeanSublette) April 12, 2015
Give it to Harper Lee. She may be 88, but she really knows how to promote her work via social media.
2) Mets closer Jenrry Mejía has been suspended 80 games after testing positive for stanozolol. Because I am a good – no, GREAT – journalist, I did some research into the drug. The name really is stanozolol. The suffix “lol” was not added to the word just because it’s Mets-related.
3) Hey, baseball fans: Don’t do this:
@sportspickle I don't think @45PedroMartinez saw you. #ninjamoves pic.twitter.com/4SjU7vcTnZ
— Chris Arnold (@NahYurMom) April 11, 2015
Especially not to Pedro Martinez. The guy once threw a 72 year-old man to the ground. Don’t think he won’t do the same to your phone.
4) Stepping away from professional baseball for a minute, NCAA Division II Minnesota State beat Bemidji State 41-20 on Saturday. And in other Minnesota amateur baseball news, the Twins are 1-5 and have 13 runs all season.
5) The Royals are 6-0 a year after their miraculous run to the World Series. But can we really believe in them yet? Even if they run off a decade of “success,” who’s to say that’s not just 10 fluke seasons in a row?
6) Chances are one or both of the Vines linked earlier in this column will have been wiped from the Internet by the time you click them. Because MLB is cracking down on people who share footage of their games. Yes, even six-second clips that could help market the game. I wonder if the league will welcome the new social media app I’m planning to launch, PastTimeVine, which allows you to post 6 hours and 49 minutes of video. Great for sharing the latest exciting 19-inning baseball game!
7) Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson told HBO’s Real Sports that he’s considering playing professional baseball during the football offseason. In two years of minor league baseball at the Single-A level in 2010 and 2011, Wilson hit .229 and struck out 118 times in 315 at-bats. In 1994 at age 31, after not having played baseball since Little League, Michael Jordan hit .202 and struck out 114 times in 436 at-bats at the Double-A level. The case can be made that Wilson is worse at baseball than Jordan. Or at least not better. Listen to Pete Carroll, Russell: pass. This time on a baseball career.
8) The Diamondbacks won’t let fans wearing hats and jerseys of other teams sit behind home plate. Really. Watch this.
AZ back at it! @DodgersReddit @DodgersNation @PetrosAndMoney @dylanohernandez @rbaly79 pic.twitter.com/zjhdhgivze
— Steven Gomez (@Bleeedblue_) April 12, 2015
A guy in a blue shirt and Dodger hat was quickly shrouded in a Diamondbacks jersey. Total D-Back move.
You can do this to fans, Diamondbacks. But know that the Dodgers will get you back by putting their jerseys on all of your good free agents.
9) Angels owner Arte Moreno has been described as “intensely private”. He rarely speaks to the press or seeks out interviews or publicity. So it’s telling that he decided to speak to the press this week just to say that he doesn’t want Josh Hamilton around. So the private Moreno thought it worth the time to break his silence to say that he doesn’t care to help a drug addict who willingly admitted to a relapse and requested mercy. If that’s what Moreno will tell us, imagine what he won’t. Billionaires remain the world’s most terrifying creatures.
10) Whoa! I just realized baseball has made it an entire week without Derek Jeter. I think it might be able to make it, guys!
